Broadway, Broadway! (BALZ)

Brag · 02-19-12, 05:07 PM

Plot idea contributed by Subsim member Eisenwurst.

Lorient, March 1942.

The poweful diesels hummed a song of victory as U 123 left the hrbor and headed down the river to to meet the challenges of the open sea.

Having ridden himself of Bernard, Balz's heart beat faster, stronger, happier. This was going to be a great patrol that would make Balz more famous than Hitler. Balz jingled the medals pinned to his smoking jacket and twirled the turkey tea cozy on his head.
He turned to his new first watch officer. "Keller, on this patrol you will witness how my greatness matures and grows into super greatness. Once we clean up the shipping off the American coast and open up Broadway to such great talent as myself. I'll buy you a hot dog."

"Very kind of you, Herr Kaleun."
"I just bubble with generosity. That´s what I am, a U-boat commander bubbling with generosity and hucjie wiichie."

Schnell Boot overtaking us," a lookout reported.
Balz turned to stern. Indeed, a torpedo boat was approaching--towing a waterskier.

A waterskier? Stay tuned.. For another riveting installment of Broadway, Broadway!

andwii · 02-19-12, 06:42 PM

lol I can just imagine having a uboat musical. I accept the challenge! lol

Gargamel · 02-19-12, 07:24 PM

Laufen zum Ziel · 02-20-12, 09:15 PM

Glad to see you are still standing tall for Balz. Any more novels in the future?

Cheers,
Ken

Brag · 02-21-12, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laufen zum Ziel

Glad to see you are still standing tall for Balz. Any more novels in the future?

Cheers,
Ken

Good to see you are still around!
At the moment I am working on a historic paper I'll be presentin at a conference of museums in April.

After that will see about editing Temple Drums a novel set in the 1960s Laos.

Laufen zum Ziel · 02-21-12, 09:22 PM

Best of luck with your endevers.

Brag · 03-03-12, 03:11 PM

The Schnellboot came alongside.
With the beer crate on his head, Bernard leapt onto the U-123 deck.
Keller had never seen such a display of agility.
Bernard came to attention and saluted. "Got the beer as ordered. Herr Kaleun."
"Is that what you are wearing on your head?" Balz asked.
"Yes, Herr Kaleun.
"Very well. Take the beer below, get into your banana suit and report to Cookie to hang you."
"What's a banana suit?" Keller asked.
Balz tilted his head to one side as if inspecting an idiot. If you don't know, go to the galley and watch."
In the galley, Cookie put aside skillet in which he was sautéing mushrooms and helped Bernard get into a bag that made him look like a giant banana.
Cookie tied a line and hoisted Bernard up in between a couple of real banana bunches. "There. He is secured, Herr Leutnant." Cookie added wine to the skillet and went back to cooking. The aroma was like nothing he had smelled in the navy and his stomach began to growl with hunger.
The boat was already beyond the minefield when Keller returned to the Bridge. "Herr Kaleun, Bernard is secured."
"Very, well. This way I don't have to see the sod and when I walk by, I can pretend it's nothing worse than a farthing banana."

krashkart · 03-03-12, 03:28 PM

It all goes to show that no Kaleun can be free of Bernard. Not even the great Balz! Such tragedy...

Gargamel · 03-03-12, 10:53 PM

Odd thing to imagine..... A farthing banana? Bernard must be the one in the middle

Brag · 03-04-12, 02:10 PM

Lt. Keller writes.
With Bernard safely banana bagged, the U-123 sailed westward at seven knots. The food on this boat is excellent as Balz, using his influence with Hitler, managed to get the Chef of the Kempinsky Hotel in Berlin drafted into the Kriegsmarine. We had daily choir practice. Then, a never ending storm hit. For two weeks we were unable to even see a star to fix our position. Then the storm stopped, the sun came out. If any birds would have been around, they would have sung. The choir had to sing instead.

We were about to sit down for another glorious lunch when Zeiler Zteve finished plotting our noon position. Shaking his head, he said, "Herr Kaleun, I have bad news."
"We're about to eat. Keep your bad news 'til after my post prandial nap."
"I have urgent bad news."
"Then whisper them to Keller and ruin his appetite."
Zeiler Zteve whispered his news into my ear.
"Oh, no," I cried out.
"No need to panic or get emotional before lunch. That's the first rule of hoochie woochie. Balz donned his duckie tea cozy. "All right go ahead and tell me the disastrous news."
I took a deep breath and held hands with Zeiler Zteve. "The storm took us off course."
"So what. Plot our new position, then plot a new course to where we will commit mayhem off the North American coast and deny the Yankis the pleasures of Cuban cigars, Caribbean coconuts, Jamaican coffee, Barbados rum, Venezuelan oil and bananas from Chiquita.°
"They are Chiquita Banans, not banans from, " I corrected.
"Is that right?" Balz said.
"That's right," I said.
"Tell him the problem," Zailer Zteve urged.
"What problem?" Balz asked.
"The problem Zeiler Zteve was going to tell you, but you told him to whisper it to me, and I said oh, no."
"Ah, that problem. Can´t it wait 'til after lunch?"
"No, Herr Kaleun."
"All right, I am bracing myself,° Balz weapped his arm around the attack scope."
"Who should reveal the news, me who now knows or Zeiler Zteve who made the discovery?"
Balz scratched his chin. "Maybe you should sing it in a duet. In a slow cadence and lugubrious tone."

What will be Balz's reaction to the shattering news? How serious is the problem? What will happen next? Where is Bernard?

Stay tuned, the next exciting episode is coming to your screen soon.

Missing Name · 03-04-12, 04:20 PM

How off course are we talking here? The Indian Ocean?

Brag · 03-10-12, 12:57 PM

Zeiler Zteve came to attention. "Herr Kaleun, it is my sad duty as an undersea mariner of the greatest distinction and crewmember of the best submersible in the glorious fleet of U-boats has ever put to sea--
"Skip the speech and give me the news," Balz said.
"I will give, Herr Kaleun the news, the moment I am not interrupted."
"I am not interrupting, but strongly urging you to deliver the ghastly news, you are planning to deliver."
"Very well, Herr Kaleun, here they come--"
"Go on, go on, Mensh."
"Will you please reduce the urgings so that I can state the news?
"I am reducing the urgings to zero."
Zeiler Zteve cleared his throat. "I forgot what I was going to say."
"You were going to deliver bad news after plotting out noon position."
"Ah, yes. Our noon position is right in the middle of the BoMüller Triangle.
Balz's face became ashen and he made chocking sounds. "Not the BoMüller Triangle."
"Not only that," Zeiler Zteve continued, but we are in the zone of maximum convergence."
"That is not hoochie woochie. But, never fear your superb commander, which, I should remind you it is me, will save you from this evil called the Bo¨Múller Triangle. Achtung, deck gunners on deck, flack gunners on Flack, two extra lookouts on the bridge. Engines full ahead, new heading two nine zero. Cook cancel lunch, twirlers will now twirl counter clockwise. Froo froo on standby."
Finished giving orders, Balz took his binoculars and went topside.

The sea was calm, a few puffy clouds slowly drifted gracing the sub tropical sea.. Balz liked the name subtropical, it went well with submarines.
"Flugzeug gesichted," The forwaed-starboard lookout announced.
"Hold your fire until you see their goggled eyeballs," Balz said calmly. He peered through the binoculars.

Twelve Avenger torpedo bombers flew on an easterly heading in a shallow dive one behind the other. The lead plane dove into the sea and was followed by the others.

"Einz, zwei , hoochie woochie ." Balz waved his tea cozy as the last airplane splashed in.

"Ship spotted," the stern lookout reported.
Balz turned and his gaze focused on a brigantine with full sail catching up. "hold your fire. That's the Flying Dutchman caught for centuries by the forces of the BoMüller."
The sailing ship passed U-123 with its crew of skeletons waving cutlasses and vanished beyond the horizon.

A dark cloud appeared. Balz watched it roll and spread wider. "Secure the deck artillery. choir muster for emergency singing. We have a black squall coming."

Like a blanket of doom, the squall enveloped the northern horizon, Like a steel fist wind hit the connin tower and forced the boat to heel to port. Balz´s tea cozy flew off. Hurricane force wind scooped water and sent spray into the air stabbing balz like thousands of needles.
Thunder rolled from all directions, wind screamed. The darkness grewto midnight color. U-123 began to glow with Saint Elmo's fire. Lightning stabbed the darkness sparks crackled. The conning tower rails became hot. Balz got an electric shock, he was burning, unable to think-
"Aaaaarrrrggghhh," he screamed.

***1042;***1072;***1090; ***1074;***1080;***1083;***1083; ***1093;***1072;***1087;***1087;***1077;***1085; ***1085;***1077;***1082;***1094;***1090;?
What will happen next?
Don't miss the next gripping episode

Sailor Steve · 03-10-12, 05:34 PM

That's the worstest, dumbestest story yet. Ships and planes an u-boats and sailors don't just disappear into th...

.

frau kaleun · 03-12-12, 07:40 AM

Could be worse, could be the Bode Miller Triangle. Get lost in there and we'd probably never ski you again.

I'll get my coat.

Gargamel · 03-12-12, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Could be worse, could be the Bode Miller Triangle. Get lost in there and we'd probably never ski you again.

I'll get my coat.

WTH . ......

I don't even........

Sigh.......

02-19-12, 05:07 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Broadway, Broadway! (BALZ) Plot idea contributed by Subsim member Eisenwurst. Lorient, March 1942. The poweful diesels hummed a song of victory as U 123 left the hrbor and headed down the river to to meet the challenges of the open sea. Having ridden himself of Bernard, Balz's heart beat faster, stronger, happier. This was going to be a great patrol that would make Balz more famous than Hitler. Balz jingled the medals pinned to his smoking jacket and twirled the turkey tea cozy on his head. He turned to his new first watch officer. "Keller, on this patrol you will witness how my greatness matures and grows into super greatness. Once we clean up the shipping off the American coast and open up Broadway to such great talent as myself. I'll buy you a hot dog." "Very kind of you, Herr Kaleun." "I just bubble with generosity. That´s what I am, a U-boat commander bubbling with generosity and hucjie wiichie." Schnell Boot overtaking us," a lookout reported. Balz turned to stern. Indeed, a torpedo boat was approaching--towing a waterskier. A waterskier? Stay tuned.. For another riveting installment of Broadway, Broadway! __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

02-19-12, 07:24 PM	#3
Gargamel Lucky Sailor Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Rome Posts: 4,272 Downloads: 81 Uploads: 0	__________________ Luck is a residue of Design.

02-20-12, 09:15 PM	#4
Laufen zum Ziel Eternal Patrol Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Hiding on the bottom Posts: 1,783 Downloads: 853 Uploads: 457	Glad to see you are still standing tall for Balz. Any more novels in the future? Cheers, Ken __________________ RIP Laufen zum Ziel

02-21-12, 09:22 PM	#6
Laufen zum Ziel Eternal Patrol Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Hiding on the bottom Posts: 1,783 Downloads: 853 Uploads: 457	Best of luck with your endevers. __________________ RIP Laufen zum Ziel

03-03-12, 03:11 PM	#7
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	The Schnellboot came alongside. With the beer crate on his head, Bernard leapt onto the U-123 deck. Keller had never seen such a display of agility. Bernard came to attention and saluted. "Got the beer as ordered. Herr Kaleun." "Is that what you are wearing on your head?" Balz asked. "Yes, Herr Kaleun. "Very well. Take the beer below, get into your banana suit and report to Cookie to hang you." "What's a banana suit?" Keller asked. Balz tilted his head to one side as if inspecting an idiot. If you don't know, go to the galley and watch." In the galley, Cookie put aside skillet in which he was sautéing mushrooms and helped Bernard get into a bag that made him look like a giant banana. Cookie tied a line and hoisted Bernard up in between a couple of real banana bunches. "There. He is secured, Herr Leutnant." Cookie added wine to the skillet and went back to cooking. The aroma was like nothing he had smelled in the navy and his stomach began to growl with hunger. The boat was already beyond the minefield when Keller returned to the Bridge. "Herr Kaleun, Bernard is secured." "Very, well. This way I don't have to see the sod and when I walk by, I can pretend it's nothing worse than a farthing banana." __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

02-19-12, 06:42 PM	#2
andwii Frogman Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Bridge of U-123 Posts: 300 Downloads: 76 Uploads: 0	lol I can just imagine having a uboat musical. I accept the challenge! lol

03-03-12, 03:28 PM	#8
krashkart Navy Seal Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 5,292 Downloads: 100 Uploads: 0	It all goes to show that no Kaleun can be free of Bernard. Not even the great Balz! Such tragedy... __________________ sent from my fingertips using a cheap keyboard

03-03-12, 10:53 PM	#9
Gargamel Lucky Sailor Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Rome Posts: 4,272 Downloads: 81 Uploads: 0	Odd thing to imagine..... A farthing banana? Bernard must be the one in the middle __________________ Luck is a residue of Design.

03-04-12, 02:10 PM	#10
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Lt. Keller writes. With Bernard safely banana bagged, the U-123 sailed westward at seven knots. The food on this boat is excellent as Balz, using his influence with Hitler, managed to get the Chef of the Kempinsky Hotel in Berlin drafted into the Kriegsmarine. We had daily choir practice. Then, a never ending storm hit. For two weeks we were unable to even see a star to fix our position. Then the storm stopped, the sun came out. If any birds would have been around, they would have sung. The choir had to sing instead. We were about to sit down for another glorious lunch when Zeiler Zteve finished plotting our noon position. Shaking his head, he said, "Herr Kaleun, I have bad news." "We're about to eat. Keep your bad news 'til after my post prandial nap." "I have urgent bad news." "Then whisper them to Keller and ruin his appetite." Zeiler Zteve whispered his news into my ear. "Oh, no," I cried out. "No need to panic or get emotional before lunch. That's the first rule of hoochie woochie. Balz donned his duckie tea cozy. "All right go ahead and tell me the disastrous news." I took a deep breath and held hands with Zeiler Zteve. "The storm took us off course." "So what. Plot our new position, then plot a new course to where we will commit mayhem off the North American coast and deny the Yankis the pleasures of Cuban cigars, Caribbean coconuts, Jamaican coffee, Barbados rum, Venezuelan oil and bananas from Chiquita.° "They are Chiquita Banans, not banans from, " I corrected. "Is that right?" Balz said. "That's right," I said. "Tell him the problem," Zailer Zteve urged. "What problem?" Balz asked. "The problem Zeiler Zteve was going to tell you, but you told him to whisper it to me, and I said oh, no." "Ah, that problem. Can´t it wait 'til after lunch?" "No, Herr Kaleun." "All right, I am bracing myself,° Balz weapped his arm around the attack scope." "Who should reveal the news, me who now knows or Zeiler Zteve who made the discovery?" Balz scratched his chin. "Maybe you should sing it in a duet. In a slow cadence and lugubrious tone." What will be Balz's reaction to the shattering news? How serious is the problem? What will happen next? Where is Bernard? Stay tuned, the next exciting episode is coming to your screen soon. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

03-04-12, 04:20 PM	#11
Missing Name Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Westun New Yahk Posts: 748 Downloads: 131 Uploads: 0	How off course are we talking here? The Indian Ocean? __________________ Largest target sunk with deck gun: Japanese auxiliary cruiser, 15000 tons Largest engaged: HMS Nelson. Results inconclusive. Read Brag's stuff

03-10-12, 12:57 PM	#12
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Zeiler Zteve came to attention. "Herr Kaleun, it is my sad duty as an undersea mariner of the greatest distinction and crewmember of the best submersible in the glorious fleet of U-boats has ever put to sea-- "Skip the speech and give me the news," Balz said. "I will give, Herr Kaleun the news, the moment I am not interrupted." "I am not interrupting, but strongly urging you to deliver the ghastly news, you are planning to deliver." "Very well, Herr Kaleun, here they come--" "Go on, go on, Mensh." "Will you please reduce the urgings so that I can state the news? "I am reducing the urgings to zero." Zeiler Zteve cleared his throat. "I forgot what I was going to say." "You were going to deliver bad news after plotting out noon position." "Ah, yes. Our noon position is right in the middle of the BoMüller Triangle. Balz's face became ashen and he made chocking sounds. "Not the BoMüller Triangle." "Not only that," Zeiler Zteve continued, but we are in the zone of maximum convergence." "That is not hoochie woochie. But, never fear your superb commander, which, I should remind you it is me, will save you from this evil called the Bo¨Múller Triangle. Achtung, deck gunners on deck, flack gunners on Flack, two extra lookouts on the bridge. Engines full ahead, new heading two nine zero. Cook cancel lunch, twirlers will now twirl counter clockwise. Froo froo on standby." Finished giving orders, Balz took his binoculars and went topside. The sea was calm, a few puffy clouds slowly drifted gracing the sub tropical sea.. Balz liked the name subtropical, it went well with submarines. "Flugzeug gesichted," The forwaed-starboard lookout announced. "Hold your fire until you see their goggled eyeballs," Balz said calmly. He peered through the binoculars. Twelve Avenger torpedo bombers flew on an easterly heading in a shallow dive one behind the other. The lead plane dove into the sea and was followed by the others. "Einz, zwei , hoochie woochie ." Balz waved his tea cozy as the last airplane splashed in. "Ship spotted," the stern lookout reported. Balz turned and his gaze focused on a brigantine with full sail catching up. "hold your fire. That's the Flying Dutchman caught for centuries by the forces of the BoMüller." The sailing ship passed U-123 with its crew of skeletons waving cutlasses and vanished beyond the horizon. A dark cloud appeared. Balz watched it roll and spread wider. "Secure the deck artillery. choir muster for emergency singing. We have a black squall coming." Like a blanket of doom, the squall enveloped the northern horizon, Like a steel fist wind hit the connin tower and forced the boat to heel to port. Balz´s tea cozy flew off. Hurricane force wind scooped water and sent spray into the air stabbing balz like thousands of needles. Thunder rolled from all directions, wind screamed. The darkness grewto midnight color. U-123 began to glow with Saint Elmo's fire. Lightning stabbed the darkness sparks crackled. The conning tower rails became hot. Balz got an electric shock, he was burning, unable to think- "Aaaaarrrrggghhh," he screamed. *1042;1072;1090; 1074;1080;1083;1083; 1093;1072;1087;1087;1077;1085; 1085;1077;1082;1094;1090;? What will happen next? Don't miss the next gripping episode __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away* Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

03-10-12, 05:34 PM	#13
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	That's the worstest, dumbestest story yet. Ships and planes an u-boats and sailors don't just disappear into th... . __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

03-12-12, 07:40 AM	#14
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Could be worse, could be the Bode Miller Triangle. Get lost in there and we'd probably never ski you again. I'll get my coat.