The Rose of Doom (BALZ)

Brag · 12-25-10, 03:18 PM

16 August 1941

Lirutenant Commander Andrew Richards RNR Stood on the bridge of the Garlic Rose. Visibility had been steadily improving in the last hour and he could see the whole convoy steaming back in order after.the attack. Like a good shepherd, his ship weaved a zigzag course at the rear of the northbound convoy.

The bridge phone rattled like a woodpecker.

Richards picked it up. "Bridge," He barked into the receiver.

"SSS from the Nova Star."

Richards turned to watch the thick column of smoke created by the burning tanker below the horizon. After being hit by a torpedo, the Nova limped at two knots and was left behind.

The signals rating continued, "German submarine attacking with artillery."

Richards replaced the phone into its cradle.
The signals man on the bridge said, "Signal from Commodore. "Go get the bastard."
"Helm hard to port, engine ahead flank."
The Nova Star reported the submarine four thousand meters astern. Richards did a few calculations and placed a mark on the chart. "Action stations," he ordered.
It would take him 42 minutes to reach the location of the U-boat. The chances of finding it were slim, but he had to try his best.

The Nova´s crew had abandoned the raging inferno when the Garlic Rose rushed past it. Richards ordered a zigzag course of 10 degrees. As always, when approaching a submarine, tension was high.

"Knickers, twenty degrees of the starboard bow," Reported a lookout.
"What?" Richards asked.
"Knickers off the starboard bow," the lookout repeated.
Through binoculars, Richardson peered into the given direction. "By Jove," he exclaimed as he focused on a periscope with a pair of long johns tied to it five hundred yards ahead.

Meanwhile, inside the deadliest weapon of the Kriegsmarine:

Balz came out of the forward torpedo room and paused to observe Bernard playing a ukulele in the hydrophone compartment. "Hoochie woochie, hoochie woochie, Bernard sang.
"Hoffman, get your headphones back on, don´t listen to this twit. And you Bernard, get back to composing the complaint letter to Winston Churchill."
The sound man placed the headset on his head and jumped up. "Warship, high speed, pinging!"
Balz ran into the control room. "Who raised the attack scope?"
"I am drying my laundry," Bernard said.
Balz peered through the periscope and saw the corvette almost on top of him.

Toom de doom de doom. Stay tuned to see what happens next. Will the Garlic Rose end Balz's career? Will Balz die a hero's death? Will Balz send Bernard a laundry bill?

TarJak · 12-25-10, 04:10 PM

Nice one Brag. Merry Xmas mate!

Gerald · 12-25-10, 06:41 PM

Great,

frau kaleun · 12-25-10, 08:45 PM

Fantastic stuff.

Sailor Steve · 12-26-10, 12:23 AM

Balza sub rosa.

Jimbuna · 12-26-10, 01:19 PM

"Hoffman, get your headphones back on, don´t listen to this twit. And you Bernard, get back to composing the complaint letter to Winston Churchill."

LMAO

All the best Alex

Missing Name · 12-26-10, 07:21 PM

I was looking for my underwear earlier. I guess I don't need to anymore....

Brag · 01-17-11, 01:34 PM

NOTE: I can.t believe how time has flown.

In the last episode we left Balz with a corvette coming fast as U-321 was lolling about at PD.

"Alaaarm," Balz shouted. He then grabbed Bernard and tossed him into the forward torpedo room as ballast.

The depth gauge indicated thirty meters when depth charges exploded all around.

The boat shook.
Balz sighed, relieved no damage was reported.

Three hours later, the corvette abandoned the hunt. After reloading torpedoes, Balz ordered, "Surface." He needed to catch up with the heavily escorted convoy and sink the other fat tanker in it. He also decided, the only way to get rid of Bernard was to recomend him for a command.
"Bernard," Balz said, "I am recommending you for a command. Go to the bridge and act as a captain."

Topside, it was already dark. To make sure the lookouts were awake, every few minutes Bernard shone his flashlight into their eyes.

Balz was coming out of the hatch when a shell droned over head. "What was that?" Balz asked.
"I don´t think it was a dancing penguin," Bernard answered.
"Who is shooting, give me a bearing!" Balz bellowed.
"Ship in the water," Herr Kaleun, Bernard wailed in a duet with another shell.
"Bernard, you stay on watch, everyone else clear the bridge."

Will Balz's devilish maneuver to get rid of Bernard succeed? Stay tuned to find out

Missing Name · 01-17-11, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Will Balz's devilish maneuver to get rid of Bernard succeed? Stay tuned to find out

Judging by the size of his brain (and therefore head) compared to the rest of the boat, no.

frau kaleun · 01-17-11, 02:51 PM

Quote:

"I don´t think it was a dancing penguin," Bernard answered.

But wouldn't it be awesome if it was?

papa_smurf · 01-18-11, 07:30 AM

Quote:

He also decided, the only way to get rid of Bernard was to recomend him for a command.
"Bernard," Balz said, "I am recommending you for a command. Go to the bridge and act as a captain."

Oh dear

Brag · 01-18-11, 02:08 PM

For a few seconds, Balz lingered on the bridge until he spotted the ship firing at them. "The Corvette of Doom," He said and jumped down the hatch.

Cookie was inside the conning tower ready to close the hatch.
Balz heard the hatch slam shut. "Bwa, ha,ha,ha," He broke into uncontrollable laughter and fell into the Zentralle. It was hard to give orders with the air knocked out of him. He managed to say " hu, hu, hu,"
"The choir took his cue and began singing the Ho hu hu hoochie woochie.
Cookie tightened the weel when he heard a voice outside.
"Knock, knock," the voice said.
"Who´s there?" Cookie answered.
"I am the top Banana."
"Ach ja, we need bananas." Cookie opened the hatch. Water and Bernard poured in.
Bernard fell on top of balz. "Thank you for softening my fall, Herr Kaleun.
"Hu, hu, hu."Balz said.
Bernard thought it might be a good idea to get out of Balz's sight.
Balz recovered his powerful voice. "Choir, switch to silent singing. The rest of you begin silent running."
Those not in the choir began to trot in in place, quietly.
"where is that cretin Bernard?"
"He is in the back disguised as a farting banana."
Balz started aft.
His murderous intent was interrupted by depth charge explosions. The Corvette of Doom was right on top of them.

Will the haunting Corvette of Doom be Balz's undoing? Stay tuned for another gripping episode of the titanic struggle in the Atlantic.

krashkart · 01-18-11, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

"Choir, switch to silent singing. The rest of you begin silent running."
Those not in the choir began to trot in in place, quietly.

Oh my god.

Awaiting the next installment.

Sailor Steve · 01-19-11, 12:23 AM

I hope they took their shoes off first. Silent running in socks is much more silent.

Jimbuna · 01-20-11, 12:55 PM

"He is in the back disguised as a farting banana."

12-25-10, 03:18 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	The Rose of Doom (BALZ) 16 August 1941 Lirutenant Commander Andrew Richards RNR Stood on the bridge of the Garlic Rose. Visibility had been steadily improving in the last hour and he could see the whole convoy steaming back in order after.the attack. Like a good shepherd, his ship weaved a zigzag course at the rear of the northbound convoy. The bridge phone rattled like a woodpecker. Richards picked it up. "Bridge," He barked into the receiver. "SSS from the Nova Star." Richards turned to watch the thick column of smoke created by the burning tanker below the horizon. After being hit by a torpedo, the Nova limped at two knots and was left behind. The signals rating continued, "German submarine attacking with artillery." Richards replaced the phone into its cradle. The signals man on the bridge said, "Signal from Commodore. "Go get the bastard." "Helm hard to port, engine ahead flank." The Nova Star reported the submarine four thousand meters astern. Richards did a few calculations and placed a mark on the chart. "Action stations," he ordered. It would take him 42 minutes to reach the location of the U-boat. The chances of finding it were slim, but he had to try his best. The Nova´s crew had abandoned the raging inferno when the Garlic Rose rushed past it. Richards ordered a zigzag course of 10 degrees. As always, when approaching a submarine, tension was high. "Knickers, twenty degrees of the starboard bow," Reported a lookout. "What?" Richards asked. "Knickers off the starboard bow," the lookout repeated. Through binoculars, Richardson peered into the given direction. "By Jove," he exclaimed as he focused on a periscope with a pair of long johns tied to it five hundred yards ahead. Meanwhile, inside the deadliest weapon of the Kriegsmarine: Balz came out of the forward torpedo room and paused to observe Bernard playing a ukulele in the hydrophone compartment. "Hoochie woochie, hoochie woochie, Bernard sang. "Hoffman, get your headphones back on, don´t listen to this twit. And you Bernard, get back to composing the complaint letter to Winston Churchill." The sound man placed the headset on his head and jumped up. "Warship, high speed, pinging!" Balz ran into the control room. "Who raised the attack scope?" "I am drying my laundry," Bernard said. Balz peered through the periscope and saw the corvette almost on top of him. Toom de doom de doom. Stay tuned to see what happens next. Will the Garlic Rose end Balz's career? Will Balz die a hero's death? Will Balz send Bernard a laundry bill? __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/ Last edited by Brag; 12-25-10 at 05:21 PM.

12-25-10, 06:41 PM	#3
Gerald SUBSIM Newsman Join Date: May 2008 Location: Close to sea Posts: 24,254 Downloads: 553 Uploads: 0	Great, __________________ Nothing in life is to be feard,it is only to be understood. Marie Curie

12-26-10, 12:23 AM	#5
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Balza sub rosa. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

12-26-10, 01:19 PM	#6
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	"Hoffman, get your headphones back on, don´t listen to this twit. And you Bernard, get back to composing the complaint letter to Winston Churchill." LMAO All the best Alex __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-26-10, 07:21 PM	#7
Missing Name Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Westun New Yahk Posts: 748 Downloads: 131 Uploads: 0	I was looking for my underwear earlier. I guess I don't need to anymore.... __________________ Largest target sunk with deck gun: Japanese auxiliary cruiser, 15000 tons Largest engaged: HMS Nelson. Results inconclusive. Read Brag's stuff

12-25-10, 04:10 PM	#2
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Nice one Brag. Merry Xmas mate!

12-25-10, 08:45 PM	#4
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	Fantastic stuff.

01-17-11, 01:34 PM	#8
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	NOTE: I can.t believe how time has flown. In the last episode we left Balz with a corvette coming fast as U-321 was lolling about at PD. "Alaaarm," Balz shouted. He then grabbed Bernard and tossed him into the forward torpedo room as ballast. The depth gauge indicated thirty meters when depth charges exploded all around. The boat shook. Balz sighed, relieved no damage was reported. Three hours later, the corvette abandoned the hunt. After reloading torpedoes, Balz ordered, "Surface." He needed to catch up with the heavily escorted convoy and sink the other fat tanker in it. He also decided, the only way to get rid of Bernard was to recomend him for a command. "Bernard," Balz said, "I am recommending you for a command. Go to the bridge and act as a captain." Topside, it was already dark. To make sure the lookouts were awake, every few minutes Bernard shone his flashlight into their eyes. Balz was coming out of the hatch when a shell droned over head. "What was that?" Balz asked. "I don´t think it was a dancing penguin," Bernard answered. "Who is shooting, give me a bearing!" Balz bellowed. "Ship in the water," Herr Kaleun, Bernard wailed in a duet with another shell. "Bernard, you stay on watch, everyone else clear the bridge." Will Balz's devilish maneuver to get rid of Bernard succeed? Stay tuned to find out __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

01-18-11, 02:08 PM	#12
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	For a few seconds, Balz lingered on the bridge until he spotted the ship firing at them. "The Corvette of Doom," He said and jumped down the hatch. Cookie was inside the conning tower ready to close the hatch. Balz heard the hatch slam shut. "Bwa, ha,ha,ha," He broke into uncontrollable laughter and fell into the Zentralle. It was hard to give orders with the air knocked out of him. He managed to say " hu, hu, hu," "The choir took his cue and began singing the Ho hu hu hoochie woochie. Cookie tightened the weel when he heard a voice outside. "Knock, knock," the voice said. "Who´s there?" Cookie answered. "I am the top Banana." "Ach ja, we need bananas." Cookie opened the hatch. Water and Bernard poured in. Bernard fell on top of balz. "Thank you for softening my fall, Herr Kaleun. "Hu, hu, hu."Balz said. Bernard thought it might be a good idea to get out of Balz's sight. Balz recovered his powerful voice. "Choir, switch to silent singing. The rest of you begin silent running." Those not in the choir began to trot in in place, quietly. "where is that cretin Bernard?" "He is in the back disguised as a farting banana." Balz started aft. His murderous intent was interrupted by depth charge explosions. The Corvette of Doom was right on top of them. Will the haunting Corvette of Doom be Balz's undoing? Stay tuned for another gripping episode of the titanic struggle in the Atlantic. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

01-19-11, 12:23 AM	#14
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	I hope they took their shoes off first. Silent running in socks is much more silent. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

01-20-11, 12:55 PM	#15
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,525 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	"He is in the back disguised as a farting banana." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!