Joke Thread

Gargamel · 12-07-10, 10:07 PM

Really Surprised there inst a good joke thread here.

A successful lawyer took his seat on his flight. He was pleasantly surprised to see a very attractive blonde in the seat next to him. Despite all his pleasantries, she pretty much ignored him until just after takeoff.

So he says, "Look, I'll make you a deal. We can play a game. I'll ask you a question, if you can get it right, I'll pay you $5, if not, you pay me $5. You can then ask me a question, and If I can't get it right, I'll pay you $500, if not, You pay me $500."

She ponders, and says Ok.

"Who was the leader of Italy during world war II?" he asks.

She thinks, and digs $5 out her purse.

"My turn," she says, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4?"

He hems and haws, spends half the flight thinking about it, finally giving her the $500.

"Thanks" she says, and tries to go to sleep.

Just as their landing, he leans over to her, "I have to know, whats the answer to your question?"

She blinks at him, and hands him $5.

Platapus · 12-07-10, 10:33 PM

Why did the employees of the US Mint go on strike?

Because they wanted to make less money per hour.

antikristuseke · 12-07-10, 11:54 PM

This is offensive but bloody hillarious:

Gargamel · 12-08-10, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by antikristuseke

This is offensive but bloody hillarious:

BZZZZZZT! videos and pics dont count. Has to be in text!

antikristuseke · 12-08-10, 12:18 AM

I can't be arsed to type that all.

Edit: allright here is one What is the difference between football and rape?

Women don't like football.

Sailor Steve · 12-08-10, 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gargamel

Really Surprised there inst a good joke thread here.

There have been dozens of joke threads here. They always die out, until someone says he's surprised there aren't any and starts a new one.

That's a pretty good joke all by itself.

GoldenRivet · 12-08-10, 03:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

There have been dozens of joke threads here. They always die out, until someone says he's surprised there aren't any and starts a new one.

That's a pretty good joke all by itself.

Im wondering if he meant forum.

"Humor, Funnies and Jokes forum"

Gargamel · 12-09-10, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

There have been dozens of joke threads here. They always die out, until someone says he's surprised there aren't any and starts a new one.

That's a pretty good joke all by itself.

Meh

/cave

Sailor Steve · 12-09-10, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gargamel

Meh

/cave

My problem is that I've already told all my good jokes. They'd be new to you, but everybody else would be saying "What? Not that again!"

Spike88 · 12-09-10, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

My problem is that I've already told all my good jokes. They'd be new to you, but everybody else would be saying "What? Not that again!"

They'd be new to me as I hardly wander over from General Games to General topics.

Edit: I have a few, but thinking and booze don't get along.

antikristuseke · 12-09-10, 08:39 AM

If you're female, it's really hard. First you're a baby, then a child and a girl and a woman and all these things are happening to you.
But if you are male, you are born, you have one finger up your nose and the other hand on your dick and then you get taller. And that is really it!

Jimbuna · 12-09-10, 12:10 PM

I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today.

Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse.

Weiss Pinguin · 12-09-10, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

There have been dozens of joke threads here. They always die out, until someone says he's surprised there aren't any and starts a new one.

That's a pretty good joke all by itself.

What? Not that again!

Sailor Steve · 12-09-10, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Weiss Pinguin

What? Not that again!

OUCH!

Jimbuna · 12-09-10, 01:09 PM

I asked my mate the other day if he remembered the joke I told him about alzheimer's...

The dickhead's still confused...

12-07-10, 10:07 PM	#1
Gargamel Lucky Sailor Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Rome Posts: 4,273 Downloads: 81 Uploads: 0	Joke Thread Really Surprised there inst a good joke thread here. A successful lawyer took his seat on his flight. He was pleasantly surprised to see a very attractive blonde in the seat next to him. Despite all his pleasantries, she pretty much ignored him until just after takeoff. So he says, "Look, I'll make you a deal. We can play a game. I'll ask you a question, if you can get it right, I'll pay you $5, if not, you pay me $5. You can then ask me a question, and If I can't get it right, I'll pay you $500, if not, You pay me $500." She ponders, and says Ok. "Who was the leader of Italy during world war II?" he asks. She thinks, and digs $5 out her purse. "My turn," she says, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes down with 4?" He hems and haws, spends half the flight thinking about it, finally giving her the $500. "Thanks" she says, and tries to go to sleep. Just as their landing, he leans over to her, "I have to know, whats the answer to your question?" She blinks at him, and hands him $5. __________________ Luck is a residue of Design.

12-07-10, 10:33 PM	#2
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,361 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why did the employees of the US Mint go on strike? Because they wanted to make less money per hour. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

12-09-10, 12:10 PM	#12
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today. Well I'm assuming she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-09-10, 01:09 PM	#15
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I asked my mate the other day if he remembered the joke I told him about alzheimer's... The dickhead's still confused... __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-07-10, 11:54 PM	#3
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	This is offensive but bloody hillarious:

12-08-10, 12:18 AM	#5
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	I can't be arsed to type that all. Edit: allright here is one What is the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football.

12-09-10, 08:39 AM	#11
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	If you're female, it's really hard. First you're a baby, then a child and a girl and a woman and all these things are happening to you. But if you are male, you are born, you have one finger up your nose and the other hand on your dick and then you get taller. And that is really it!