How do you cope?

JokerOfFate · 10-23-10, 02:51 AM

Well It's been a year now since I left the Military and I was wandering how do/did you guys cope/find it when you first got back?

Sailor Steve · 10-23-10, 10:11 AM

How did you feel about the military while you were in? That can have an effect on post-service mindset. I've sort of let life happen to me, which is almost certainly why I haven't accomplished a lot. While I was in I was in. War experience was what it was. When I was out I was out. Life is life. It's all good.

10-23-10, 10:36 AM

I got into volunteering in the community, joined the local Search and Rescue society and am now in charge of training for the group. Don't know what it's like in your neck of the woods but I would imagine there are many agencies crying out for motivated people used to serving for a greater good. For me, volunteerism has largely filled the hole left by not being "part of the team" anymore.

Like Steve says, Life is Life. You can never go back so dwelling on what was is a huge waste of energy.

Platapus · 10-23-10, 01:01 PM

I guess I was lucky, I was able to transfer to a civilian job that was almost exactly like what I was doing in the military. The only difference for me was that I had to wear a suit (everyone has a "uniform") and receive a little more than twice my pay.

But I realize that not everyone in the military can transfer so cleanly. That is one of the reasons I left EOD. Civilian jobs for EOD are limited.

If it is not too personal, can we ask what your concerns are? If you prefer to discuss this in PM, please feel free to PM me.

I would like to help if I can, baring that, I make a pretty good sounding board to bitch to.

Sailor Steve · 10-23-10, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Randomizer

I Like Steve says, Life is Life. You can never go back so dwelling on what was is a huge waste of energy.

That's true too, but my own point and experience are just the opposite. I adjusted well because I take it easy - perhaps too easy. For someone who lives life more intensely it may be harder to adjust to any new thing, especially post-military life.

If there are specific problems he needs to figure out exactly what they are and what he can do about them. Someone who has been through that adjustment phase can probably give better advice than I can.

Randomizer, it sounds like you're one of those who made the adjustment.

JokerOfFate · 10-23-10, 02:49 PM

The only problems I have is the constant waiting for something to happen, checking windows for snipers. I miss my gear as well

Platapus · 10-23-10, 05:07 PM

Ah, then perhaps the issue is not coping with being out of the military, but coping with being out of combat. The two are not the same.

The last time I was in "combat" was 1983 so my experiences probably won't relate to your experiences.

This sounds serious. Do you have access to mental health programs?

Takeda Shingen · 10-23-10, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

I haven't accomplished a lot.

Your wisdom and temperment speak otherwise. Accomplishment should never be limited to station.

antikristuseke · 10-23-10, 05:59 PM

I just don't think about it, if I do i try to force my train of thought elsewhere, also not taking life seriously and laughing at pretty much anything helps.

FIREWALL · 10-23-10, 06:14 PM

Be thankfull your above ground and, breathing.

Others weren't so lucky. Just do the best you can and things in time will become clear.

Good Luck

JokerOfFate · 10-24-10, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FIREWALL

Be thankfull your above ground and, breathing.

Others weren't so lucky. Just do the best you can and things in time will become clear.

Good Luck

That's true thanks

(I maybe missing a few marbles but I ain't crazy )

FIREWALL · 10-24-10, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JokerOfFate

That's true thanks

(I maybe missing a few marbles but I ain't crazy )

The one's that tell me their totally sane are the one's that scare me.

Already you sound like you have a grip on things.

Hang in their buddy.

CCIP · 10-24-10, 11:11 AM

Yup, take care of yourself and don't ignore those instincts of un-safety. You gotta have someone to talk to about them that you trust, otherwise things like that can eat you alive. All the tough character and training in the world can't reverse the fact that trauma sticks in human brains, and the worst thing you can do is pretend it's not there when it clearly is. And while I've never been in service as such, trust me, I can speak from personal experience on that.

And a massive respect to you and the other service veterans here. Thanks for doing what you did, whenever and wherever you served

antikristuseke · 10-24-10, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FIREWALL

Be thankfull your above ground and, breathing.

You know, coincidentally that is the hardest thing for me to deal with, other men I was in basic with who are no longer here would be much better alive than I have been.

Garion · 10-24-10, 06:46 PM

For me it was tough, I was invalided out of the Royal Navy and went through years of ... well lets just say I was a little down and leave it at that

I eventualy managed to get a job as Computer Science Lecturer teaching Graduate below and above software engineering, graphics, hardware design and apps progamming.

It was a brave new world in the mid eighties and I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time.

Now I am retired and build models... But I still dream about being in the RN and wake up thinking WTF happend.

Your military sevice and mindset never leave yoo and yoo just have to to adapt.

Remember Civvys need a cuddle before they acquiesce to your commands erm decisions

At least that's what my wife tells me

Cheers

garion
AkA Jevhaddah

10-23-10, 02:51 AM	#1
JokerOfFate Sonar Guy Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 387 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	How do you cope? Well It's been a year now since I left the Military and I was wandering how do/did you guys cope/find it when you first got back?

10-23-10, 10:11 AM	#2
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	How did you feel about the military while you were in? That can have an effect on post-service mindset. I've sort of let life happen to me, which is almost certainly why I haven't accomplished a lot. While I was in I was in. War experience was what it was. When I was out I was out. Life is life. It's all good. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

10-23-10, 01:01 PM	#4
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I guess I was lucky, I was able to transfer to a civilian job that was almost exactly like what I was doing in the military. The only difference for me was that I had to wear a suit (everyone has a "uniform") and receive a little more than twice my pay. But I realize that not everyone in the military can transfer so cleanly. That is one of the reasons I left EOD. Civilian jobs for EOD are limited. If it is not too personal, can we ask what your concerns are? If you prefer to discuss this in PM, please feel free to PM me. I would like to help if I can, baring that, I make a pretty good sounding board to bitch to. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-23-10, 05:07 PM	#7
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,360 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Ah, then perhaps the issue is not coping with being out of the military, but coping with being out of combat. The two are not the same. The last time I was in "combat" was 1983 so my experiences probably won't relate to your experiences. This sounds serious. Do you have access to mental health programs? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

10-23-10, 06:14 PM	#10
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	Be thankfull your above ground and, breathing. Others weren't so lucky. Just do the best you can and things in time will become clear. Good Luck __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

10-23-10, 10:36 AM	#3
Randomizer Stowaway Posts: n/a Downloads: Uploads:	I got into volunteering in the community, joined the local Search and Rescue society and am now in charge of training for the group. Don't know what it's like in your neck of the woods but I would imagine there are many agencies crying out for motivated people used to serving for a greater good. For me, volunteerism has largely filled the hole left by not being "part of the team" anymore. Like Steve says, Life is Life. You can never go back so dwelling on what was is a huge waste of energy.

10-23-10, 02:49 PM	#6
JokerOfFate Sonar Guy Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 387 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	The only problems I have is the constant waiting for something to happen, checking windows for snipers. I miss my gear as well

10-23-10, 05:59 PM	#9
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	I just don't think about it, if I do i try to force my train of thought elsewhere, also not taking life seriously and laughing at pretty much anything helps.

10-24-10, 11:11 AM	#13
CCIP Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Waterloo, Canada Posts: 8,700 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 2	Yup, take care of yourself and don't ignore those instincts of un-safety. You gotta have someone to talk to about them that you trust, otherwise things like that can eat you alive. All the tough character and training in the world can't reverse the fact that trauma sticks in human brains, and the worst thing you can do is pretend it's not there when it clearly is. And while I've never been in service as such, trust me, I can speak from personal experience on that. And a massive respect to you and the other service veterans here. Thanks for doing what you did, whenever and wherever you served __________________ There are only forty people in the world and five of them are hamburgers. -Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart)

10-24-10, 06:46 PM	#15
Garion Commander Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 452 Downloads: 34 Uploads: 0	For me it was tough, I was invalided out of the Royal Navy and went through years of ... well lets just say I was a little down and leave it at that I eventualy managed to get a job as Computer Science Lecturer teaching Graduate below and above software engineering, graphics, hardware design and apps progamming. It was a brave new world in the mid eighties and I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. Now I am retired and build models... But I still dream about being in the RN and wake up thinking WTF happend. Your military sevice and mindset never leave yoo and yoo just have to to adapt. Remember Civvys need a cuddle before they acquiesce to your commands erm decisions At least that's what my wife tells me Cheers garion AkA Jevhaddah