Bernard, an Electrifying Arrival.

[Brag]

Bernard, an Electrifying Arrival.



By Lt. Fritz Gwitz

The cataclysmic Great War ended in 1918. Nevertheless, in 1920 Europe was still experiencing the disastrous aftermath of this catastrophe. Wracked by revolution, Germany, no longer an Empire experienced hunger, economic chaos and political disorder. The Austro-Hungarian Empire was gone and fragmented. The Russian Empire was taken over by murderous Bolshevik revolutionaries andRocked in the throes of civil war. The victors of the war, France and the British Empire were broke and like Dickensian villains squeezed Germany for money.

In the gloom and darkness of what was Europe, a demented, defrocked monk wandered through the desolate landscape. He Slept in barns and hay stacks and ate rabbits and other rodents he could catch. Farmers and villagers were not kind to this former monk and often pelted him with stones. Leaving his native Finland, the monk wandered through Poland into Germany in search of happiness. There was none in Poland and even less in Germany.

In Austria there wasn’t any happiness either. The Monk climbed into the mountains and found a dog with a barrel hanging on his neck.

The demented Monk ate the dog and kept the barrel. After slacking his raging thirst, he felt happy.

The sun shone brightly over the Alps as non-demented or defrocked monks searched for a missing dog.

The Finish monk heard bells and went to investigate. On an Alpine meadow a pretty shepherdess looked after a herd of lambs.

An idea come to the defrocked monk. He would find happiness with the silence of the lambs.

He approached the shepherdess and said, “You want a drink?”
The shepherdess said, “okay”
The monk offered her the barrel.

An hour later, as if the sky was angry, clouds swirled and thunder echoed through the mountains while the monk deflowered the shepherdess. At the moment of his climax, lightning struck the demented Monk.

Nine months later, someone left a basket outside the Saint Bernard Monastery. A note pinned to the baby’s blanket said: His name is Bernard.

[Sailor Steve]

:rotfl:

So Bernard's father was a Finn. Well, we knew that already, at least metaphorically speaking. But for real?

Great stuff, Mr. B!

[Betonov]

Oh god, he ate a dog I like dogs (in a different way than chickens and lamb)

But still this will be good, keep em coming

[coronas]

"He would find happiness with the silence of the lambs"

Brag, you have beaten yourself!

[papa_smurf]

Heres Bernard!

[Jimbuna]

So what are you trying to say!!

Come on...spit it out (no pun intended)!!

Is Dowly a rapist or simply a sex pervert!!

:rotfl:

[Laufen zum Ziel]

Now we know why his enemy call him "Bastardo".

[Dowly]

Haha, nice one Brag! Keep it coming!