Beer Warning!!

Jimbuna · 05-01-09, 05:23 AM

Due to increasing product liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring joke over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a w*nker.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and/or name you can't remember)

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

McBeck · 05-01-09, 07:38 AM

"Dont drink 'n' drive"
"Dont drink 'n' dial"

Janus · 05-01-09, 08:18 AM

Good one

At least I can say I haven't been through all of this (yet).

Speedo · 05-01-09, 12:50 PM

I drink allot of beer, but i don't have any problems when i was drunked

TarJak · 05-01-09, 07:55 PM

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to post inappropriately on internet forums and chat rooms.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to inadvertantly text lewd messages to your bosses mobile phone.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that you are having a good time whilst the contents of your wallet are commandeered by the person behind the bar.

bookworm_020 · 05-02-09, 02:30 AM

Drink, Drive, then your a Bl@#dy idiot!

Jimbuna · 05-02-09, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookworm_020

Drink, Drive, then your a Bl@#dy idiot!

Couldn't disagree on that.

Platapus · 05-02-09, 03:25 PM

To paraphrase a schtick of Bill Cosby

Alcohol intensifies a person's personality.

Some people are just dumb jerks.

05-01-09, 05:23 AM	#1
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,473 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Beer Warning!! Due to increasing product liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring joke over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wnker. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and/or name you can't remember) WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.* Oh my God, not again!!

05-01-09, 07:38 AM	#2
McBeck Admiral Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Denmark Posts: 2,027 Downloads: 15 Uploads: 0	"Dont drink 'n' drive" "Dont drink 'n' dial" __________________ "I like subcommanders...they dont have time for bull**!" Proud member of the Subsim army of zombies Becks website

05-02-09, 02:30 AM	#6
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Drink, Drive, then your a Bl@#dy idiot! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

05-02-09, 03:25 PM	#8
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 19,361 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	To paraphrase a schtick of Bill Cosby Alcohol intensifies a person's personality. Some people are just dumb jerks. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-01-09, 08:18 AM	#3
Janus XO Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 434 Downloads: 25 Uploads: 0	Good one At least I can say I haven't been through all of this (yet).

05-01-09, 12:50 PM	#4
Speedo Bosun Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Lithuania, Kaunas Posts: 63 Downloads: 112 Uploads: 0	I drink allot of beer, but i don't have any problems when i was drunked

05-01-09, 07:55 PM	#5
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to post inappropriately on internet forums and chat rooms. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to inadvertantly text lewd messages to your bosses mobile phone. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to think that you are having a good time whilst the contents of your wallet are commandeered by the person behind the bar.