A bit of fun

lesrae · 01-17-09, 12:46 AM

I need this after the couple of weeks we've had at work, most are worth at least a small groan

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whisky-maker's daughter, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Know matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A backward poet writes inverse.

TarJak · 01-17-09, 02:11 AM

Very punny!

A Very Super Market · 01-17-09, 02:26 AM

The third last one is a bit Yakov Smirnoff-y

In America, you go to library to check out books. In Soviet Russia, book checks out you!!!

In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!

And whatnot

Tchocky · 01-17-09, 03:06 AM

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
IN SOVIET UNION
POEM WRITES YOU

bookworm_020 · 01-17-09, 06:00 AM

None of you quit your day job!

Jimbuna · 01-17-09, 11:21 AM

She was only the fishmongers daughter but she lay on the slab and said fillet.

01-17-09, 12:46 AM	#1
lesrae Grey Wolf Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Somerset, UK. Posts: 932 Downloads: 31 Uploads: 0	A bit of fun I need this after the couple of weeks we've had at work, most are worth at least a small groan The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. She was only a whisky-maker's daughter, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. Know matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. A backward poet writes inverse.

01-17-09, 02:26 AM	#3
A Very Super Market The Old Man Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Deep in the Wild Canadian suburbs. Posts: 1,468 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	The third last one is a bit Yakov Smirnoff-y In America, you go to library to check out books. In Soviet Russia, book checks out you!!! In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you! And whatnot __________________ The entire German garrison of Vanviken, right here in your thread!

01-17-09, 03:06 AM	#4
Tchocky Navy Seal Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 5,874 Downloads: 6 Uploads: 0	Roses are red, Violets are blue, IN SOVIET UNION POEM WRITES YOU __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

01-17-09, 06:00 AM	#5
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	None of you quit your day job! __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

01-17-09, 11:21 AM	#6
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	She was only the fishmongers daughter but she lay on the slab and said fillet. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

01-17-09, 02:11 AM	#2
TarJak Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 17,052 Downloads: 150 Uploads: 8	Very punny!