Sink Balz! (Winston Churchil 21 March 1940)

Brag · 07-05-08, 10:41 PM

London, March 1940

"Gentlemen," Winston Churchill paused and looked at each admiral in the eye. "We have to get Balz."

"I agree," Admiral Pope said."

The rest of the admirals gathered in the the Admiralty's conference room nodded.

"Good." Churchil smiled and lit a cigar. "What I'm going to propose is not only daring but it will eliminnate Balz once and for all. Never in the history of naval warfare were so many ships used to sink one German as we will use in Operation Underwaterlord.

The fate of our beaches, of our farms, of our pubs, depend on the success of this operation." Churchill rubbed his hands together and shook with excitement.

"We will invent a man who never was, dump his body outside Wilhelmshaven with a letter to Balz."

Captain Johny Walker, the junior officer present asked, "A letter to that clown?"

Churchill chuckled, "Yes, we will reveal that we're sending the Nelson to Norway and that it will enter the Narvik Fjord on the 13th. of April."

"WE can't do that!" The admirals rose off their chairs as one.

"We can't do that. We must keep the movements of our capital ships secret."

"Hah." Churchil harrumped. "This way we'll know where Balz will be on the 13th. Captain Walker will put together the largest destroyer operation the world has ever seen and he will get Balz. Captain Walker, Get in touch with department GWX immediately and prepare a huge escort operation. Never so many will do so much to destroy so few."
* * *
On board U-45 Kptlt Johan Sebastian Balz broke the seal and read his orders:

BDU has information that a Royal Navy capital ship will enter Narvik fjord on 13 April. After running a diversionary operation on the Skaggerack, you will proceed to Narvik fjord and sink the British battleship. The Fuhrer, the Reich and I expect you to succeed.

Balz gathered his officers at the mess. "Meine Herren, you are lucky to be with the gratest U-boat commander in the Kriegsmarine. After a little warm up, we finally have good intelligence. We will go to Narvik and cover ourselves with glory by sinking a battleship. Even the Bull of Scapa will envy our success!"

* * *
The Nelson looked magestic steaming out of Scapa Flow. What impressed Johny Walker most was the eight destroyers surrounding it in a tight screen. On the bridge of the Cossak, Walker grinned at the commander. "This seems like overkill to me. Never in the history of submarine warfare we've had such a strong escort. Balz is wet toast."

"Aye, Commodore. We'll show those Krauts who rules the waves."

* * *
After sinking two Polish Freighters and a British medium cargo with the deck gun. Balz ordered a north course to proceed with his part of Operation Wesserubung.

Not trusting intelligence information, Balz arrived at the narrowest entrance into Narvik fjord two days early and ran soundings to get the best possible attack conditions. A battleship would have three to four escorts and getting away after that attack would be tricky.

Bernard was kept bussy polishing silverware and greasing torpedoes. Everything was going very nicely. During the las four combat patrols, the crew was performing well. On return to Willi there was a brand new IX waiting for Balz.

At 0001 hrs. of 13 April Balz ordered a sound check dive.
Within hald hour there was a sound contact, two warships, probably destroyers.

"Action stations, silent running," Balz ordered and put on his tea cozy with Mickey Mouse ears on. "Choir, humming stations to humm at my superior marksmanship."

"Heavy warship approaching."

"Herr Kaleun, numerous warships."

"Up periscope." Barelly breaking the surface, Balz examined the approaching ships. "Destroyers, destroyers, destroyers. They are huddling around the Nelson."
"Down scope." Balz flipped his tea cozy backward. Never whave so many destroyers done so much to ruin a Hoochie Woochie."
Balz pre set the periscope to 335 and lowered it. Speed 25 knots, range two thousand meters. spread angle 1.5 degrees, salvo. Flutten Rohrs. einz, zwei, drei, vier."
"You're not going to do your one ship one torpedoe thing?" Bernard asked.
Balz, didn't answer. "Up scope."
The Nelson was in perfect postion. So were the escorts. "Feur, down scope, new depth 150 meters, speed one knot."

U-145 was crossing 25 meters when three explosions racked the battleship.

* * *
"Torpedo running sound." The asdic operator shouted.
"Fix datum point, hard starboard rudder. "
"What the hell?" Johny Walker watched the three columns of water rise next to the battleship.
"Converge on datum, go active on the asdic."
Starshells exploded all over the sky. Searchlights swept the sea.

* * *

Within minutes, pinging came from all directions. Several destroyers passed overhead.

"We have at least eight destroyers, Herr Kaleun."
Even Bernard became quiet. One after another, escorts kept passing overhead. But not releasing depth charge.

Slowly. U-45 gained depth. Heavy pinging came fro all directions but for some reason were unable to get an echo.

Two escorts rumbled overhead. Balz held his breath. They had him bracketed. At least three destroyers stood still--listening. His goose was plucked. If they didn't get him on this pass, the next one would be fatal.

The noise of screws faded.
Depth
32 meters. still, way to shallow. Balz was glad he didn't use his normal fast but noisy dive.

Pinging came from all directions, but the pingers did not have him located.
"Any sounds of the Nelson sinking?"
"Nein, Herr Kaleun. It reduced speed."
More destroyers passed directly overhead.
"What do you make of this, Kalb?"
"Too many destroyers neutralizing each other?"
"Maybe. We have never seen so many accurate passes."
"Here comes another one."
Png. Ping. Ping.
The escort rumbled overhead--nothing.
"This is eerie," Kalb said.
"It's the hoochie woochie and my brilliant divemanship."
"Escorts, leaving area, Herr Kaleun."
Balz glanced at his watch. "Periscope depth."
* * *
Lt. Kalb writes:

We surfaced into a sunny morning, light seas and haze. Balz ordered full speed ahead and we headed east hoping to catch up with a crippled battleship. An hour later we sighted it. Balz ordered decks awash at seven meters. The range kept closin slowly. The battleship increased speed from 7 to 11 knots. It listed slightly to starboard.

There was no way of getting around the huge British warship and we were well within range of its guns. But we were closing in and it seemed like Balz was going to get away with it.
"Open turpedo door."
We were less than two thousand meters from the Brit.
"Go below and check the depth," Balz told me.
I just landed in the Zentralle when there was a horrific bang. All Lights went out. The sound of rushing water came from the forward compartments. Smoke poured from the conning tower.
"Flooding forward compartment, hydrophone destroyed, radio destroyed, engine telegraph does not respond. rudder does not respond."
A cacophony of voices filled the U-boat.
Balz staggered down the ladder. His tea cozy was a scorched, smoking mess. "Periscope depth."
"Controls not responding."
Another shell exploded nearby.
"Bridge crew are all gone." Balz mumbled.
So will we be in a few seconds, I thought.
"Have rudder control."
U-45 began to settle into the sea.
Damage control brought the flooding under control.

That evening we buried at sea our four comrades. The return to Willi was uneventful.

Balz received the oak leaves and swords for his Ritterkreutz. And we all transfered to the U-123.

Brag · 07-06-08, 09:55 AM

Nine destroyers after Balz!

Penelope_Grey · 07-06-08, 10:13 AM

LOL Well Balz... its been nice knowing ya.

UnderseaLcpl · 07-06-08, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penelope_Grey

LOL Well Balz... its been nice knowing ya.

You make it sound like he died. You should know better.

Sailor Steve · 07-06-08, 11:36 AM

Old Winnie has the wind up his skirts.

Balz is an imaginary fig newton.

Brag · 07-06-08, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penelope_Grey

LOL Well Balz... its been nice knowing ya.

J.S. Balz writes:

My dear Penelope,

It takes more than a couple of shells from a British battleship to knock out such a heroic fihure as myself. The only damage I suffered is a scorched tea cozy. Could you knit me a replacement? A design with bunnies would be nice.

I would then invite you to my quarters where you could admire my medals and my magnificent personna.

Sincerely,

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz
Hero of the Kriegsmarine.

GoldenRivet · 07-06-08, 01:54 PM

the most striking part of the whole text...

you let bernard grease the torpedoes.

WTF man!!!???

think about that for a second. Bernard + proximity to high explosives = bad

Laufen zum Ziel · 07-07-08, 10:33 AM

Balz is wondering.

Why the kind Penelope did not respond to his quarters offer.

How can anyone refuse an offer from the greatest Captain
ever to set sail?????

Frank0001 · 07-07-08, 01:12 PM

Hahaha great job (as usual/expected) herr Balz! Next time Winston should send another Nelson, but with 12 escorts, hehe

coronas · 07-07-08, 02:13 PM

In this way, Balz will be GrossAdmiral soon.

Sailor Steve · 07-07-08, 07:42 PM

In more ways than one.

Stealth Hunter · 07-08-08, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Nine destroyers after Balz!

WEEPIN' JESUS ON THE CROSS...

Penelope_Grey · 07-08-08, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laufen zum Ziel

Balz is wondering.

Why the kind Penelope did not respond to his quarters offer.

How can anyone refuse an offer from the greatest Captain
ever to set sail?????

Because a GWX Technomage hexed my heart before Balz showed up.

STEED · 07-08-08, 12:03 PM

Meanwhile some where in Germany.

"Men we have successfully cloned are U-Boat war hero Balz."

Penelope_Grey · 07-08-08, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STEED

Meanwhile some where in Germany.

"Men we have successfully cloned are U-Boat war hero Balz."

Too bad the war will be over long before he is old enough to command a U-Boat. :rotfl:

07-05-08, 10:41 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Sink Balz! (Winston Churchil 21 March 1940) London, March 1940 "Gentlemen," Winston Churchill paused and looked at each admiral in the eye. "We have to get Balz." "I agree," Admiral Pope said." The rest of the admirals gathered in the the Admiralty's conference room nodded. "Good." Churchil smiled and lit a cigar. "What I'm going to propose is not only daring but it will eliminnate Balz once and for all. Never in the history of naval warfare were so many ships used to sink one German as we will use in Operation Underwaterlord. The fate of our beaches, of our farms, of our pubs, depend on the success of this operation." Churchill rubbed his hands together and shook with excitement. "We will invent a man who never was, dump his body outside Wilhelmshaven with a letter to Balz." Captain Johny Walker, the junior officer present asked, "A letter to that clown?" Churchill chuckled, "Yes, we will reveal that we're sending the Nelson to Norway and that it will enter the Narvik Fjord on the 13th. of April." "WE can't do that!" The admirals rose off their chairs as one. "We can't do that. We must keep the movements of our capital ships secret." "Hah." Churchil harrumped. "This way we'll know where Balz will be on the 13th. Captain Walker will put together the largest destroyer operation the world has ever seen and he will get Balz. Captain Walker, Get in touch with department GWX immediately and prepare a huge escort operation. Never so many will do so much to destroy so few." * * * On board U-45 Kptlt Johan Sebastian Balz broke the seal and read his orders: BDU has information that a Royal Navy capital ship will enter Narvik fjord on 13 April. After running a diversionary operation on the Skaggerack, you will proceed to Narvik fjord and sink the British battleship. The Fuhrer, the Reich and I expect you to succeed. Balz gathered his officers at the mess. "Meine Herren, you are lucky to be with the gratest U-boat commander in the Kriegsmarine. After a little warm up, we finally have good intelligence. We will go to Narvik and cover ourselves with glory by sinking a battleship. Even the Bull of Scapa will envy our success!" * * * The Nelson looked magestic steaming out of Scapa Flow. What impressed Johny Walker most was the eight destroyers surrounding it in a tight screen. On the bridge of the Cossak, Walker grinned at the commander. "This seems like overkill to me. Never in the history of submarine warfare we've had such a strong escort. Balz is wet toast." "Aye, Commodore. We'll show those Krauts who rules the waves." * * * After sinking two Polish Freighters and a British medium cargo with the deck gun. Balz ordered a north course to proceed with his part of Operation Wesserubung. Not trusting intelligence information, Balz arrived at the narrowest entrance into Narvik fjord two days early and ran soundings to get the best possible attack conditions. A battleship would have three to four escorts and getting away after that attack would be tricky. Bernard was kept bussy polishing silverware and greasing torpedoes. Everything was going very nicely. During the las four combat patrols, the crew was performing well. On return to Willi there was a brand new IX waiting for Balz. At 0001 hrs. of 13 April Balz ordered a sound check dive. Within hald hour there was a sound contact, two warships, probably destroyers. "Action stations, silent running," Balz ordered and put on his tea cozy with Mickey Mouse ears on. "Choir, humming stations to humm at my superior marksmanship." "Heavy warship approaching." "Herr Kaleun, numerous warships." "Up periscope." Barelly breaking the surface, Balz examined the approaching ships. "Destroyers, destroyers, destroyers. They are huddling around the Nelson." "Down scope." Balz flipped his tea cozy backward. Never whave so many destroyers done so much to ruin a Hoochie Woochie." Balz pre set the periscope to 335 and lowered it. Speed 25 knots, range two thousand meters. spread angle 1.5 degrees, salvo. Flutten Rohrs. einz, zwei, drei, vier." "You're not going to do your one ship one torpedoe thing?" Bernard asked. Balz, didn't answer. "Up scope." The Nelson was in perfect postion. So were the escorts. "Feur, down scope, new depth 150 meters, speed one knot." U-145 was crossing 25 meters when three explosions racked the battleship. * * * "Torpedo running sound." The asdic operator shouted. "Fix datum point, hard starboard rudder. " "What the hell?" Johny Walker watched the three columns of water rise next to the battleship. "Converge on datum, go active on the asdic." Starshells exploded all over the sky. Searchlights swept the sea. * * * Within minutes, pinging came from all directions. Several destroyers passed overhead. "We have at least eight destroyers, Herr Kaleun." Even Bernard became quiet. One after another, escorts kept passing overhead. But not releasing depth charge. Slowly. U-45 gained depth. Heavy pinging came fro all directions but for some reason were unable to get an echo. Two escorts rumbled overhead. Balz held his breath. They had him bracketed. At least three destroyers stood still--listening. His goose was plucked. If they didn't get him on this pass, the next one would be fatal. The noise of screws faded. Depth 32 meters. still, way to shallow. Balz was glad he didn't use his normal fast but noisy dive. Pinging came from all directions, but the pingers did not have him located. "Any sounds of the Nelson sinking?" "Nein, Herr Kaleun. It reduced speed." More destroyers passed directly overhead. "What do you make of this, Kalb?" "Too many destroyers neutralizing each other?" "Maybe. We have never seen so many accurate passes." "Here comes another one." Png. Ping. Ping. The escort rumbled overhead--nothing. "This is eerie," Kalb said. "It's the hoochie woochie and my brilliant divemanship." "Escorts, leaving area, Herr Kaleun." Balz glanced at his watch. "Periscope depth." * * * Lt. Kalb writes: We surfaced into a sunny morning, light seas and haze. Balz ordered full speed ahead and we headed east hoping to catch up with a crippled battleship. An hour later we sighted it. Balz ordered decks awash at seven meters. The range kept closin slowly. The battleship increased speed from 7 to 11 knots. It listed slightly to starboard. There was no way of getting around the huge British warship and we were well within range of its guns. But we were closing in and it seemed like Balz was going to get away with it. "Open turpedo door." We were less than two thousand meters from the Brit. "Go below and check the depth," Balz told me. I just landed in the Zentralle when there was a horrific bang. All Lights went out. The sound of rushing water came from the forward compartments. Smoke poured from the conning tower. "Flooding forward compartment, hydrophone destroyed, radio destroyed, engine telegraph does not respond. rudder does not respond." A cacophony of voices filled the U-boat. Balz staggered down the ladder. His tea cozy was a scorched, smoking mess. "Periscope depth." "Controls not responding." Another shell exploded nearby. "Bridge crew are all gone." Balz mumbled. So will we be in a few seconds, I thought. "Have rudder control." U-45 began to settle into the sea. Damage control brought the flooding under control. That evening we buried at sea our four comrades. The return to Willi was uneventful. Balz received the oak leaves and swords for his Ritterkreutz. And we all transfered to the U-123. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/ Last edited by Brag; 07-06-08 at 09:37 AM.

07-06-08, 09:55 AM	#2
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Nine destroyers after Balz! __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

07-06-08, 10:13 AM	#3
Penelope_Grey Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: UK Posts: 1,893 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	LOL Well Balz... its been nice knowing ya. __________________ I SURVIVED THE FIRST EVER SUBSIM WEREWOLF HUNT - and... I actually won the game for the humans too!

07-06-08, 11:36 AM	#5
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Old Winnie has the wind up his skirts. Balz is an imaginary fig newton. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

07-06-08, 01:54 PM	#7
GoldenRivet Subsim Aviator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 8,726 Downloads: 146 Uploads: 0	the most striking part of the whole text... you let bernard grease the torpedoes. WTF man!!!??? think about that for a second. Bernard + proximity to high explosives = bad __________________

07-07-08, 10:33 AM	#8
Laufen zum Ziel Eternal Patrol Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Hiding on the bottom Posts: 1,783 Downloads: 853 Uploads: 457	Balz is wondering. Why the kind Penelope did not respond to his quarters offer. How can anyone refuse an offer from the greatest Captain ever to set sail????? __________________ RIP Laufen zum Ziel

07-07-08, 01:12 PM	#9
Frank0001 Chief Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 317 Downloads: 16 Uploads: 0	Hahaha great job (as usual/expected) herr Balz! Next time Winston should send another Nelson, but with 12 escorts, hehe __________________ Snipers of the Seas One eel - one Kill

07-07-08, 02:13 PM	#10
coronas Ace of the Deep Join Date: May 2005 Location: Asturias, España Posts: 1,168 Downloads: 39 Uploads: 0	In this way, Balz will be GrossAdmiral soon. __________________

07-07-08, 07:42 PM	#11
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	In more ways than one. __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

07-08-08, 12:03 PM	#14
STEED Lucky Jack Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Down Town UK Posts: 27,695 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 48	Meanwhile some where in Germany. "Men we have successfully cloned are U-Boat war hero Balz." __________________ Dr Who rest in peace 1963-2017. To borrow Davros saying...I NAME YOU CHIBNALL THE DESTROYER OF DR WHO YOU KILLED IT!