Balz Spills The Beans!

Brag · 03-08-08, 01:43 PM

The Sunshine International Tabloid (S****) Interviews Johan Sebastian Balz The Greatest Hero of WWII.

The interview took place in Destructor Hall, a country estate surrounded by minefields and guarded by ferocious Space Hamzters. A Space Hamzter is about half the size of Steed standing on his soap box.

Wearing a tea cozy, Balz greets us at the portico of the mansion and leads us to the back of the property where we descend into Brag's writing cave.

Chained to their computer stations, seven dwarfs sit in front of keyboards typing to the rythm of a fat Roman galley drummer.

"They are working on Brag's next book." Balz says.
We enter a chamber that resembles a submarine and take seats around an old U-boat table.

SST: How do you like the great role Brag has given you in WWII?
Balz: I hate the role, I hate that bastard Brag.
SST: Why is that?
Balz: I like Hoochie-woochie singing and dancing. And what does the bastard do? He slaps me right in the middle of trouble, instead of performing in a theatre to British applause, the Brits are trying to kill me. Brag is a sadist. He treats all his characters that way.
Look what he has done to Trager, a perfectly decent fellow. He sends Trager into big, big trouble where practically everyone is trying to kill him.
SST: But he provides him with a beautiful babe, doesn't he?
Balz: She's major trouble.
As if reminesing, Balz lapses into silence. We listen to the rythmic accelerated clacking of keboards.
Balz: They are writing an action scene now. When the dwarfs giggle, it means they are writing a sex scene.
SST: Do you want to be in Brag's next book?
Balz: No way! I'm a magnificent and brilliant Kaleun who has found a nice home in Subsim. It is very hoochie-woochie.

GoldenRivet · 03-08-08, 03:02 PM

Poor Balz.

But, he must realize this...

Like God does to the people of the earth... A good writer gives his characters challenge and adversity, otherwise the plot may as well be about someone sitting in their living room eating crackers with the climax of the story focused on the cleaning of the crumbs.

Brag · 03-09-08, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldenRivet

Poor Balz.

But, he must realize this...

Like God does to the people of the earth... A good writer gives his characters challenge and adversity, otherwise the plot may as well be about someone sitting in their living room eating crackers with the climax of the story focused on the cleaning of the crumbs.

Good thing fictional characters can't pop out of the pages and get even with the writer

TomcatMVD · 03-09-08, 10:02 AM

So Balz got himself a mansion!
It was time for him to get what he deserved! As the major Vatherland's hero!
S!

NealT · 03-09-08, 12:32 PM

Strange...very strange...

Brag is the writer.
Brag only has a writing cave.
Balz is the ??
Balz has a mansion protected by 10 foot beasts (yes, I heard, 1/2 the size of Steed on his soapbox.)

Almost makes you wonder who is really pulling the strings here...

03-08-08, 01:43 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Balz Spills The Beans! The Sunshine International Tabloid (S**) Interviews Johan Sebastian Balz The Greatest Hero of WWII. The interview took place in Destructor Hall, a country estate surrounded by minefields and guarded by ferocious Space Hamzters. A Space Hamzter is about half the size of Steed standing on his soap box. Wearing a tea cozy, Balz greets us at the portico of the mansion and leads us to the back of the property where we descend into Brag's writing cave. Chained to their computer stations, seven dwarfs sit in front of keyboards typing to the rythm of a fat Roman galley drummer. "They are working on Brag's next book." Balz says. We enter a chamber that resembles a submarine and take seats around an old U-boat table. SST: How do you like the great role Brag has given you in WWII? Balz: I hate the role, I hate that bastard Brag. SST: Why is that? Balz: I like Hoochie-woochie singing and dancing. And what does the bastard do? He slaps me right in the middle of trouble, instead of performing in a theatre to British applause, the Brits are trying to kill me. Brag is a sadist. He treats all his characters that way. Look what he has done to Trager, a perfectly decent fellow. He sends Trager into big, big trouble where practically everyone is trying to kill him. SST: But he provides him with a beautiful babe, doesn't he? Balz: She's major trouble. As if reminesing, Balz lapses into silence. We listen to the rythmic accelerated clacking of keboards. Balz: They are writing an action scene now. When the dwarfs giggle, it means they are writing a sex scene. SST: Do you want to be in Brag's next book? Balz: No way! I'm a magnificent and brilliant Kaleun who has found a nice home in Subsim. It is very hoochie-woochie. __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:**http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

03-08-08, 03:02 PM	#2
GoldenRivet Subsim Aviator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 8,726 Downloads: 146 Uploads: 0	Poor Balz. But, he must realize this... Like God does to the people of the earth... A good writer gives his characters challenge and adversity, otherwise the plot may as well be about someone sitting in their living room eating crackers with the climax of the story focused on the cleaning of the crumbs. __________________

03-09-08, 10:02 AM	#4
TomcatMVD Weps Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: MVD, UY Posts: 359 Downloads: 7 Uploads: 0	So Balz got himself a mansion! It was time for him to get what he deserved! As the major Vatherland's hero! S! __________________

03-09-08, 12:32 PM	#5
NealT Ace of the Deep Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: 2 Meters Below Jimbuna Posts: 1,060 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	Strange...very strange... Brag is the writer. Brag only has a writing cave. Balz is the ?? Balz has a mansion protected by 10 foot beasts (yes, I heard, 1/2 the size of Steed on his soapbox.) Almost makes you wonder who is really pulling the strings here...