Failed Convoy attack turns into Hunt for the Rodney

[Brag]

19 May 1940
U-53 (Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz)

Some days things don't work right even for brilliant U-boot Kommandants such as myself. I did an excellent penetration of a heavily escorted convoy, which included the Rodney. Aimed a salvo of 2 eels on the battleship and then one each at two large tankers.

This tactic should have given me 60, 000 tons in a mater of seconds, so we went deep while I whistled Meet me in Balzimore You Hoochie Woochie(I'm still working on the lyrics for the song).

One torpedo hit Rodney. Everything else missed. Rodney continued on his way. After chewing out my idiot officers who caused the misses and premature torpedo explosions we surfaced and began a brilliantly executed convoy overhaul maneuvre.

Being a perspicatious commander , I guessed correctly that the shells flying overhad came from Rodney who was no longer with the convoy.

With my superior navigation and seamanship we went around Rodney and realized that even though they convoy changed course, Rodney was doing it's own thing for King and country.

Of course that did not confuse me, the great Balz. After a couple of tries, with decks awash, maneuvered U-53 into a favorable firing position and dove.

The British crew would not get their bangers and mash lunch today.

This time, I let Rodney have 4 eels from 1200 meters. All torpedoes hit (2 mags & 2 impacts). Rodney blew up and sank withing 5 minutes.

[Steel_Tomb]

Lol...not that you were satisfying your ego there: "brilliant U-boot Kommandants such as myself". Congrats on your kill herr kaleun!

[Brag]

Thank you, Herr Tomb. I will personally make a Balzing Mathilda cocktail for you after my triumphal return to Willi

Balz J.S.

[Mooncatt]

grats and nice tacs Herr Kaluen

[Biggles]

pffh, there you go bragging again! Always seems to get the action now aren't you?

[GoldenRivet]

Brag... i know you have these skippers with personality traits...

But i have a feeling this Balz guy is going down in a bad way sooner or later :rotfl:

could you imagine being stuck on a U-boat with that cocky bastard for a month or two??? :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Kaleu. Jochen Mohr]

Brag. now you are disguised in that cocky Balz (wich has NO bals at all)
and having the biggest ego on the forum here...
with posting "Brilliant U-boot commander" everywhere

do a surfaced attack and THEN you can have some ego.
blasting with the Deck Gun. firing eels. both at the same time.
then you understand what fun it is the suicide squad (wich survivies) has

you always say we are nuts. but did you ever tryed ? did anyone tryed ? except the one's of the Suicide Squad.
no one did. they dont know what fun we have. i recently put the reloading time back to 5 seconds and i still keep winning from these blasted DD's
its a thrill and a lot of fun. and you only understand when doing the surfaced attack.

[Brag]

The notebook in which I write my songs gets wet, wet from spray and waves during surface attacks. I am presently working on Du Alein Bist meine Hoochie Woochie. Besides, the sound of artillery upsets my sensitive gastronomical taste buds. 80,000 BRT for this patrol, so far. I'm not heroic, just humbly brilliant.

Balz, J.S.

[Kaleu. Jochen Mohr]

Originally Posted by Brag

The notebook in which I write my songs gets wet, wet from spray and waves during surface attacks. I am presently working on Du Alein Bist meine Hoochie Woochie. Besides, the sound of artillery upsets my sensitive gastronomical taste buds. 80,000 BRT for this patrol, so far. I'm not heroic, just humbly brilliant.

Balz, J.S.

[nikbear]

Originally Posted by Brag

The notebook in which I write my songs gets wet, wet from spray and waves during surface attacks. I am presently working on Du Alein Bist meine Hoochie Woochie. Besides, the sound of artillery upsets my sensitive gastronomical taste buds. 80,000 BRT for this patrol, so far. I'm not heroic, just humbly brilliant.

Balz, J.S.

I like this Balz fella,I like the cut of his jib

[CapZap1970]

Nicely done, Herr Balz....
Herr Gross Admiral Doenitz asked me to tell you that he is waiting for you to hang some medals on your chest and to give you a promotion.
As for the rest of your fellow Kaleuns, weare preparing a wild party at Consuela's Club, as usual.
CapZap

[Kaleu. Jochen Mohr]

this time i pass... got a TF to destroy

[Brag]

You have good taste, CaptZap. Cunsuela's is a good place. Looking forward to the party. Meanwhile, as the shining example of an ideal Kriegsmarine officer that I am. I am I have a few ships to sink before my glorious return to Willi.

Balz, J.S.

[CapZap1970]

Originally Posted by Brag

You have good taste, CaptZap. Cunsuela's is a good place. Looking forward to the party. Meanwhile, as the shining example of an ideal Kriegsmarine officer that I am. I am I have a few ships to sink before my glorious return to Willi.

Balz, J.S.

I forgot to tell you that I always put you as an example to follow when it comes to modesty
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
CapZap

[Brag]

Originally Posted by GoldenRivet

Brag... i know you have these skippers with personality traits...

But i have a feeling this Balz guy is going down in a bad way sooner or later :rotfl:

could you imagine being stuck on a U-boat with that cocky bastard for a month or two??? :rotfl: :rotfl:

My officers are happy, every evening they get a lecture on how to achieve the level of perfection I have. Taking notes, and correting them when they are off watch keeps them busy. Busy officers are happy officers and they have the rare privilige of serving under me. Of course, they also bask in the warm glow of my charming personality.

Balz, J.S.