I Am The Greatest Kapitan In History

[Rykaird]

I am. Just so you know.

I've sunk four times the tonnage of the Kriegsmarine's next best U-Boat ACE. I am not only nearly invincible, but I have sank so much tonnage I am single-handedly changing the tide of the war. I simply drip decorations and medals.

And then . . .

I maxed the realism level. And I stopped using save games.

Now I don't know where I am half the time. I can't see a blasted thing but my own grouchy crewmen. My navigation maps look like they have been scribbled on by a deranged monkey who's had too much coffee. I finally get lined up finally for a perfect shot and I actually miss! At least I think I miss - may be duds.

Now I'm lucky to limp back to port with 20% of what I used to do in tonnage. Instead of the full marching band and the pretty girls waving and throwing flowers, I get a drunk trying to burp out a tune, and an old sea hag asking if I have any spare change.

What happened, man? I used to be beautiful.