New Year's Special Edition (BALZ)

[Brag]

"Tonight is a very special night," Balz said as we sat down to a midnight New Year's dinner. "I have asked cookie to prepare a grand meal to do honor to this rare bottle of vintage champagne. We are leaving a year in which we have failed to win the war but entering the year of final victory."
"May I uncork the bottle?" Bernard asked.
"Nein, my dear Bernard. You will sit on your hands while I skillfully uncork this nectar of the gods." With a grin on his face, Balz uncorked the bottle. He got a satisfying pop and didn't spill any. "Meine Herren, I propose a toast--May the Fuhrer never have laryngitis, "
Cookie came by the nook and placed a soup tourine on the table. "Captain, gentlemen, I have prepared a special meal tonight. Here's a Bavarian lentil soup. Kassler cutlets with hot potato salad will follow and for desert we have a special treat, tangerines imported from Tunisia."
Bernard reached for the soup ladle.
Like magic, a fly swatter appeared in Balz's fist and he slapped Bernard's hand. "Continue sitting on you hands. I am determined that nothing, absolutely nothing will ruin our dinner."
Bernard placed his hands underneath him looking sour.
Balz picked up the ladle and stirred. "Nothing like a good soup to start a meal, right?"
"Jawhol, Herr Kaleun," I said with anticipation. Lentil soup is one of my favorites.
Balz started ladling soup into a plate and pulled out a sock.
"What is this?" he asked.
"It's a sock," Bernard answered.
"What were you doing earlier in the galley?"
"I was washing my socks, Herr Kaleun."
Balz shook his head. "Bernard, tonight you will make history. You will be the first man to wear his soup."


Balz, Bernard, Lt. Gwitz and your humble scribe wish you a happy, successful and prosperous 2009.


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