Schwooggie (Balz)

Brag · 07-09-11, 03:44 PM

Jul 1941

"Schwooggie."
Balz turned in his bed. "Huh?"
No one answered his question. Balz yawned realizing it was his own voice that woke him. Schwooggie. What in the hell was that? He looked at his watch. Time to get up. Work at the Chateau des Sardines started early. Most U-boats sent in their reports early in the morning before diving. By 0700 the reports were stale info. The duty officer would catch the important stuff, Yet ...

Balz washed his face, shaved. He then put his tea cozy in his briefcase and went out of the officer's barracks.

In the gray of dawn he recognized the admiral taking his morning walk. Balz saluted and said, "Schwooggie."
"What?" The admiral barked.
"Ah, um, ah, gutten Morgen, Herr Admiral." Balz hurried to his office where he could wear his tea cozy and think calmly.

A pile of reports waited at his desk. Balz sat down, took the tea cozy out of his briefcase and said "Schwooggie." Why did he keep saying Schwooggie? He had never said it before. But, the word had a certain ring to it. The warm tea cozy on his head made him feel better, more secure. He could warm up important messages by putting them on his head and putting on the tea cozy on top. "Schwooggie."
Why do I keep saying schwooggie? no one says Schwooggie. Balz smiled, "No, no one. No one has ever said schwooggie. Not Shakespiere, nor Goethe, or Shiller, Bismark, Franz Joseph, Kant, Napoleon, not even Tutankamon. None of them, no one in all of human history has ever said schwooggie. Balz stood to congratulate himself for being the first creature on earth to utter this magnificent word.

The Admiral walked into Balz's office. "What's hot this morning?" the admiral stared at the tea cozy. "And, remove that ridiculous thing from your head."
" I use it to warm up reports, Herr Admiral."
Turning red, the admiral said."Re mo-ve that ttthingg fr om you re hhhh ead."
Bals removed the tea cozy and placed inside his tea cozies drawer. "Did you ever say schwooggie, Herr Admiral?"
"Schwoogie? No, never."
"You just said it."
"Said what?"
"Schwooggie."
"I didn´t say Schwoogie."
"There, you've said it again,"
Doenitz banged his fist on the desk. "Balz, you schwoog yourself to the docks. U-110 needs a new captain.".
Balz ran out of the Chateau, yelling, "It´s a verb. I invented a verb."

danasan · 07-09-11, 04:07 PM

Nice one again, thanks!

Missing Name · 07-09-11, 06:12 PM

What is this madness? I thought you said Balz's exploits were over!

...I'm not complaining!

Fish In The Water · 07-09-11, 08:30 PM

What is this strange thing you speak of called a verb?

Thanks for the read!

frau kaleun · 07-09-11, 09:15 PM

Another marvelous beginning, who knows what fantastic hoochie woochies await us now?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Jul 1941

"Schwooggie."
Balz turned in his bed. "Huh?"
No one answered his question. Balz yawned realizing it was his own voice that woke him.

Thank god... for a minute there I thought it was gonna be mine.

Sailor Steve · 07-09-11, 11:34 PM

And we can all breathe a sigh of relief as Balz proves he really is one of a kind. I was afraid Herr Admiral Doenitz would be affected. Infected. Directed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Thank god... for a minute there I thought it was gonna be mine.

Tanks for the memories.

frau kaleun · 07-09-11, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

I was afraid Herr Admiral Doenitz would be affected. Infected. Directed.

Not to mention injected, inspected, neglected and selected.

Sailor Steve · 07-09-11, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

Not to mention injected, inspected, neglected and selected.

Tank you, Mrs Zimmerman. All I really want to do is say

yourself.

Brag · 07-10-11, 10:16 PM

If anyone is interested in a present day Schwooggie outside this den of murderous sumbie commanders:

http://www.useless-knowledge.com/1234/11june/article011.html

Sailor Steve · 07-11-11, 01:24 AM

What I'd like to know is, who is this Alexey Braguine and why is he stealing your material?

Another thing I'd like to know is, who am I and why am I reading it?

Jimbuna · 07-11-11, 10:18 AM

"Schwooggie" eh?

Went straight over Mrs. Bunas head but the female offspring said "That word sounds cool"

Herr-Berbunch · 07-11-11, 10:32 AM

Quote:

What I'd like to know is, who is this Alexey Braguine and why is he stealing your material?

Moreover, does this mean that Balz survives the war and has a son, or grandson, called Frank?

Take the ran out of Frank and you're left with the letters F, and K.

Who do we know with the initials F, and K?

That's right, Frau Kaluen.

Is this some subliminal writing to imply that Balz and FK go on to have children?

Who knows?

Hurry up with the next part, Brag!

danasan · 07-11-11, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herr-Berbunch

Moreover, does this mean that Balz survives the war and has a son, or grandson, called Frank?

Take the ran out of Frank and you're left with the letters F, and K.

Who do we know with the initials F, and K?

That's right, Frau Kaluen.

Is this some subliminal writing to imply that Balz and FK go on to have children?

Who knows?

Hurry up with the next part, Brag!

They both have been to Casablanca, playing the piano. What do you think, they have done there? Holding hands?

Jimbuna · 07-11-11, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danasan

They both have been to Casablanca, playing the piano. What do you think, they have done there? Holding hands?

Tinkling more on the ovaries than on the ivories one suspects

frau kaleun · 07-11-11, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Tinkling more on the ovaries than on the ivories one suspects

Hey now wait a minute, I'm not into the kinky stuff.

07-09-11, 03:44 PM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Schwooggie (Balz) Jul 1941 "Schwooggie." Balz turned in his bed. "Huh?" No one answered his question. Balz yawned realizing it was his own voice that woke him. Schwooggie. What in the hell was that? He looked at his watch. Time to get up. Work at the Chateau des Sardines started early. Most U-boats sent in their reports early in the morning before diving. By 0700 the reports were stale info. The duty officer would catch the important stuff, Yet ... Balz washed his face, shaved. He then put his tea cozy in his briefcase and went out of the officer's barracks. In the gray of dawn he recognized the admiral taking his morning walk. Balz saluted and said, "Schwooggie." "What?" The admiral barked. "Ah, um, ah, gutten Morgen, Herr Admiral." Balz hurried to his office where he could wear his tea cozy and think calmly. A pile of reports waited at his desk. Balz sat down, took the tea cozy out of his briefcase and said "Schwooggie." Why did he keep saying Schwooggie? He had never said it before. But, the word had a certain ring to it. The warm tea cozy on his head made him feel better, more secure. He could warm up important messages by putting them on his head and putting on the tea cozy on top. "Schwooggie." Why do I keep saying schwooggie? no one says Schwooggie. Balz smiled, "No, no one. No one has ever said schwooggie. Not Shakespiere, nor Goethe, or Shiller, Bismark, Franz Joseph, Kant, Napoleon, not even Tutankamon. None of them, no one in all of human history has ever said schwooggie. Balz stood to congratulate himself for being the first creature on earth to utter this magnificent word. The Admiral walked into Balz's office. "What's hot this morning?" the admiral stared at the tea cozy. "And, remove that ridiculous thing from your head." " I use it to warm up reports, Herr Admiral." Turning red, the admiral said."Re mo-ve that ttthingg fr om you re hhhh ead." Bals removed the tea cozy and placed inside his tea cozies drawer. "Did you ever say schwooggie, Herr Admiral?" "Schwoogie? No, never." "You just said it." "Said what?" "Schwooggie." "I didn´t say Schwoogie." "There, you've said it again," Doenitz banged his fist on the desk. "Balz, you schwoog yourself to the docks. U-110 needs a new captain.". Balz ran out of the Chateau, yelling, "It´s a verb. I invented a verb." __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/ Last edited by Brag; 07-09-11 at 03:56 PM.

07-09-11, 04:07 PM	#2
danasan Elite Spam Hunter Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Flensburg / Germany Posts: 1,141 Downloads: 39 Uploads: 0	Nice one again, thanks! __________________ "I invite you to go inside this submergible hole in the water where you can nicely hide from destroyers."

07-09-11, 06:12 PM	#3
Missing Name Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Westun New Yahk Posts: 748 Downloads: 131 Uploads: 0	What is this madness? I thought you said Balz's exploits were over! ...I'm not complaining! __________________ Largest target sunk with deck gun: Japanese auxiliary cruiser, 15000 tons Largest engaged: HMS Nelson. Results inconclusive. Read Brag's stuff

07-10-11, 10:16 PM	#9
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	If anyone is interested in a present day Schwooggie outside this den of murderous sumbie commanders: http://www.useless-knowledge.com/1234/11june/article011.html __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

07-11-11, 01:24 AM	#10
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	What I'd like to know is, who is this Alexey Braguine and why is he stealing your material? Another thing I'd like to know is, who am I and why am I reading it? __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

07-09-11, 08:30 PM	#4
Fish In The Water Prince of the Sea SUBSIM Welcome Committee Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Watching over U-253 Posts: 3,527 Downloads: 98 Uploads: 2	What is this strange thing you speak of called a verb? Thanks for the read!

07-11-11, 10:18 AM	#11
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,500 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	"Schwooggie" eh? Went straight over Mrs. Bunas head but the female offspring said "That word sounds cool" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!