Why Submarines Are Better Than Women

Gerald · 09-22-10, 10:16 PM

By Mike Hemming

1. A submarine will kill you quickly. A woman takes her time.

2. Submarines like it done at all angles.

3. Submarines can be turned on easily anytime.

4. A submarine doesn’t mind if you smoke, drink, tell dirty jokes or cuss.

5. A submarine does not object to being rigged for dive.

6. Submarines come with manuals.

7. A submarine is built for going down

8. A submarine once down is quite willing to say there as long as you want.

9. Submarines are always in trim.

10. You can dive a submarine any time of the month.

11. Submarines don't whine unless something is really wrong.

12. Submarines don't care how many other subs you have sailed on.

13. Submarines don't come with in-laws.

14. When sailing, you and your submarine arrive at the same time.

15. Submarines don't mind if you look at other submarines or if you buy books and magazines about them.

16. Submarines don’t complain if you sleep somewhere else.

17. Submarines don’t mind if you stop off for a few beers on the way back.

18. It's OK to tie up a submarine

19. You can leave your submarine but it will never leave you.

20. You get paid extra money for riding on a submarine.

21. Submarines don’t mind if you sit up all night eating and talking loud with your friends.

22. Submarines always smell the same all month long.

23. A submarine doesn't get mad if you fart, belch or scratch in public.

http://www.olgoat.com/substuff/mik12.htm

TLAM Strike · 09-22-10, 10:33 PM

Not the first time this has been posted here.

Actually I think this was in the last subsim almanac. Whatever happened to the 3rd installment of that?

Gerald · 09-22-10, 10:37 PM

Thanks, I was hesitant to post because I had a Felling that it has been here before, but that's easy to delete

CaptainMattJ. · 09-22-10, 11:12 PM

we should expect frau kaleun to reply shortly.

Flaxpants · 09-23-10, 02:10 AM

In defence of women I would add that all submarines look dreadful in stockings & suspenders. They're also incredibly difficult to get into your bed and require cranes etc...

antikristuseke · 09-23-10, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vendor

18. It's OK to tie up a submarine

It is also ok to tie up women, some like it, the rest you keep chloroformed.

Gerald · 09-23-10, 02:42 AM

What I do not I keep my word (about #18), there's one other advantages to the list

Castout · 09-23-10, 04:42 AM

Nah a submarine can't possibly love me, a women could.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flaxpants

In defence of women I would add that all submarines look dreadful in stockings & suspenders.

But most women too LOL

antikristuseke · 09-23-10, 04:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vendor

What I do not I keep my word (about #18), there's one other advantages to the list

What does that sentence even mean?

papa_smurf · 09-23-10, 05:13 AM

We still waiting on a comment from Frau.........

the_tyrant · 09-23-10, 07:45 AM

is there even a single hardcore female sub simmer?

antikristuseke · 09-23-10, 07:49 AM

Never use the words female and hardcore in the same sentence with me around, now i need to change my pants again.

frau kaleun · 09-23-10, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the_tyrant

is there even a single hardcore female sub simmer?

You must be new here.

frau kaleun · 09-23-10, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by papa_smurf

We still waiting on a comment from Frau.........

Satisfied?

Seriously, this list or variations of it has been posted, what, 3-4 times since I've been here?

I mean, really, I could sit down and make up an analogous list of why submarines are better than men, but that would be silly. We all know that what's really better than a man is a dildo, primarily because there's no man attached to it.

antikristuseke · 09-23-10, 09:48 AM

All you need to do is sow on a pocket and put a wallet in it, then it would be everything a woman could ever desire

09-22-10, 10:33 PM	#2
TLAM Strike Navy Seal Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Rochester, New York Posts: 8,633 Downloads: 29 Uploads: 6	Not the first time this has been posted here. Actually I think this was in the last subsim almanac. Whatever happened to the 3rd installment of that? __________________

09-22-10, 10:37 PM	#3
Gerald SUBSIM Newsman Join Date: May 2008 Location: Close to sea Posts: 24,254 Downloads: 553 Uploads: 0	Thanks, I was hesitant to post because I had a Felling that it has been here before, but that's easy to delete __________________ Nothing in life is to be feard,it is only to be understood. Marie Curie

09-22-10, 11:12 PM	#4
CaptainMattJ. The Old Man Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Sin City Posts: 1,364 Downloads: 55 Uploads: 0	we should expect frau kaleun to reply shortly. __________________ A popular Government without popular information nor the means of acquiring it, is but a Prologue to a Farce or a Tragedy or perhaps both. Knowledge will forever govern ignorance, and a people who mean to be their own Governors must arm themselves with the power knowledge gives - James Madison

09-23-10, 02:42 AM	#7
Gerald SUBSIM Newsman Join Date: May 2008 Location: Close to sea Posts: 24,254 Downloads: 553 Uploads: 0	What I do not I keep my word (about #18), there's one other advantages to the list __________________ Nothing in life is to be feard,it is only to be understood. Marie Curie

09-23-10, 05:13 AM	#10
papa_smurf Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: High Peak, Derbyshire Posts: 2,851 Downloads: 33 Uploads: 0	We still waiting on a comment from Frau......... __________________

09-22-10, 10:16 PM	#1
Gerald SUBSIM Newsman Join Date: May 2008 Location: Close to sea Posts: 24,254 Downloads: 553 Uploads: 0	Why Submarines Are Better Than Women By Mike Hemming 1. A submarine will kill you quickly. A woman takes her time. 2. Submarines like it done at all angles. 3. Submarines can be turned on easily anytime. 4. A submarine doesn’t mind if you smoke, drink, tell dirty jokes or cuss. 5. A submarine does not object to being rigged for dive. 6. Submarines come with manuals. 7. A submarine is built for going down 8. A submarine once down is quite willing to say there as long as you want. 9. Submarines are always in trim. 10. You can dive a submarine any time of the month. 11. Submarines don't whine unless something is really wrong. 12. Submarines don't care how many other subs you have sailed on. 13. Submarines don't come with in-laws. 14. When sailing, you and your submarine arrive at the same time. 15. Submarines don't mind if you look at other submarines or if you buy books and magazines about them. 16. Submarines don’t complain if you sleep somewhere else. 17. Submarines don’t mind if you stop off for a few beers on the way back. 18. It's OK to tie up a submarine 19. You can leave your submarine but it will never leave you. 20. You get paid extra money for riding on a submarine. 21. Submarines don’t mind if you sit up all night eating and talking loud with your friends. 22. Submarines always smell the same all month long. 23. A submarine doesn't get mad if you fart, belch or scratch in public. http://www.olgoat.com/substuff/mik12.htm __________________ Nothing in life is to be feard,it is only to be understood. Marie Curie

09-23-10, 02:10 AM	#5
Flaxpants Ace of the Deep Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Koh Samui, Thailand Posts: 1,196 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	In defence of women I would add that all submarines look dreadful in stockings & suspenders. They're also incredibly difficult to get into your bed and require cranes etc...

09-23-10, 07:45 AM	#11
the_tyrant Admiral Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 2,272 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	is there even a single hardcore female sub simmer?

09-23-10, 07:49 AM	#12
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	Never use the words female and hardcore in the same sentence with me around, now i need to change my pants again.

09-23-10, 09:48 AM	#15
antikristuseke Silent Hunter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Estland Posts: 4,330 Downloads: 3 Uploads: 0	All you need to do is sow on a pocket and put a wallet in it, then it would be everything a woman could ever desire