Tanker Alley (BALZ)

[Brag]

Lt. Werner writes:

The next few days we´ve spent patrolling a sealane between St George Channel and the Rockall bank. U-45 intercepted four freighters and sank them with the deck gun in calm seas. After each event, Balz posed with a sinking ship in the background, wearing a different tea cozy. Then the traffic stopped.

The routine on this submarine is somewhat different than on other Kriegsmarine vessels. The day starts with choir practice and hoochie woochie twirling exercises. After that, Balz gives a speech on how wonderful and heroic he is. At noon, the choir sings Our captain is The Best Hoochie Woochie.

On six October, Balz held a writing competition to decide who would write his wartime history. Petty officer Lustchreiber won.

PO Lustschreiber writes:

We headed south. The sea was flat like a table with four legs and the sun shone brighter than at night because at night it didn´t shine at all and was replaced by the moon.

We came to Tanker Alley and thanks to our captain’s wonderful acumen, we sank two freighters.

The sea was still as flat as a table with four legs when we dove for a sound check. It checked well because we heard a freighter approaching.

Our great captain gathered the crew. “Which tea cozy should I wear for this next sinking event?” he asked and tried his bunny tea cozy. The procedure was interrupted by the sound man who reported another contact and another one, followed by another one.
“Keep quiet, I´m busy,” Balz bellowed loudly.
“It´s a convoy,” Bernard said, “goodie, I can say Wasserbomben.”
“You´re not going to say nothing. Silent running, new depth thirty meters.

The convoy was big, bigger than a small convoy. The sound man reported we were past the leading warship. Balz ordered a ninety degree turn and periscope depth. When the turn was completed, the hero of the Kriegsmarine, raised the periscope. “Holly mother of Balz, flood tubes one, two, three, zero gyro angle, einz, loss, zwei loss, drei loss, down periscope.” Pale as a ghost without color, Balz sat on the chart box. “There, on the surface, like a sacrificial offering to me and the gods of Valhalla sits the Rodney awaiting out three torpedoes,” he said and rose back to his feet an assumed a heroic pose.

The screeching of metal drowned what Balz said and the torpedo treffer call. And we are thrown onto the floor of the U-boat which was leaning like a table with two legs. Once we were back up like a table with four legs, Balz raised the periscope and fired another torpedo. “Dive to one hundred and fifty meters. The Rodney has slowed down.” He announced.

The Convoy passed overhead making the noise of many ships passing overhead.

“She´s going down,” someone said.
“The Rodney is sinking, a humble British tribute to my greatness.” Balz tossed his bunny tea ccozy up. It landed on cookie’s potato soup pot where Bernard was stewing his socks.

[papa_smurf]

The convoy was big, bigger than a small convoy

So it was a medium convoy?

[Gerald]

Originally Posted by Brag

Lt. Werner writes:

The next few days we´ve spent patrolling a sealane between St George Channel and the Rockall bank. U-45 intercepted four freighters and sank them with the deck gun in calm seas. After each event, Balz posed with a sinking ship in the background, wearing a different tea cozy. Then the traffic stopped.

The routine on this submarine is somewhat different than on other Kriegsmarine vessels. The day starts with choir practice and hoochie woochie twirling exercises. After that, Balz gives a speech on how wonderful and heroic he is. At noon, the choir sings Our captain is The Best Hoochie Woochie.

On six October, Balz held a writing competition to decide who would write his wartime history. Petty officer Lustchreiber won.

PO Lustschreiber writes:

We headed south. The sea was flat like a table with four legs and the sun shone brighter than at night because at night it didn´t shine at all and was replaced by the moon.

We came to Tanker Alley and thanks to our captain’s wonderful acumen, we sank two freighters.

The sea was still as flat as a table with four legs when we dove for a sound check. It checked well because we heard a freighter approaching.

Our great captain gathered the crew. “Which tea cozy should I wear for this next sinking event?” he asked and tried his bunny tea cozy. The procedure was interrupted by the sound man who reported another contact and another one, followed by another one.
“Keep quiet, I´m busy,” Balz bellowed loudly.
“It´s a convoy,” Bernard said, “goodie, I can say Wasserbomben.”
“You´re not going to say nothing. Silent running, new depth thirty meters.

The convoy was big, bigger than a small convoy. The sound man reported we were past the leading warship. Balz ordered a ninety degree turn and periscope depth. When the turn was completed, the hero of the Kriegsmarine, raised the periscope. “Holly mother of Balz, flood tubes one, two, three, zero gyro angle, einz, loss, zwei loss, drei loss, down periscope.” Pale as a ghost without color, Balz sat on the chart box. “There, on the surface, like a sacrificial offering to me and the gods of Valhalla sits the Rodney awaiting out three torpedoes,” he said and rose back to his feet an assumed a heroic pose.

The screeching of metal drowned what Balz said and the torpedo treffer call. And we are thrown onto the floor of the U-boat which was leaning like a table with two legs. Once we were back up like a table with four legs, Balz raised the periscope and fired another torpedo. “Dive to one hundred and fifty meters. The Rodney has slowed down.” He announced.

The Convoy passed overhead making the noise of many ships passing overhead.

“She´s going down,” someone said.
“The Rodney is sinking, a humble British tribute to my greatness.” Balz tossed his bunny tea ccozy up. It landed on cookie’s potato soup pot where Bernard was stewing his socks.

Balz are really lucky mate!

[Task Force]

Yay, Balz is back!

[Jimbuna]

It landed on cookie’s potato soup pot where Bernard was stewing his socks.

One can just imagine