I Dont Understand It

[GoldenRivet]

My wife of seven years has a sister.

this sister, at age 28 has had every opportunity to go to school, get an education, become a nurse at the local hospital's expense... and was even guaranteed a job before even completing the nursing program.

Yet... she has more or less abandoned her daughter and son... and has fallen in with a crowd of lowlifes, druggies, thugs, thieves, gangsters and the like.

my in-laws, who are good successful people, wish to take custody of the children... as their mother seems to want nothing to do with them... she only wants to use them as something to hold over my in-laws heads.

she has removed her beloved children (my niece and nephew, her parents grand kids) from the scenery of our life and hidden them away from the family because we dont support her lifestyle.

she refuses to return anyone's calls, and nobody knows for certain where the children (ages 3 and 7) are living or what those conditions are.

what i don't understand.

why do people associate themselves with thugs and criminals and druggies as she has done?

why do people who have every opportunity to become winners... cast away those opportunities in favor of being losers?

it would seem to me that most people in their late 20s would want to have a nice home or apartment, and have nice cars, and make a decent living and live a stable "good life", and provide for their children... guaranteeing as much as possible that the children have a promising or bright future.

what i dont understand is what is so appealing about the vagabond, bong water soaked lifestyle of sleeping in one slum apartment one night and some run down meth lab the next night and spending the night with a random "friend" another night in what is arguably the most disgusting, trashy, run down apartment complex in town?

I dont understand.

when i was in my very early 20's... all i wanted to do was live on that "ritzy" side of town... own a nice car... have a loving and reliable wife... have a nice yard and a job capable of supporting it all.

Some might call it the "American Dream" but its not exclusive to America so its not fair to call it that... i call it a normal, productive, upstandign life.

its no fantasy

anyone can do it

one just has to get an education, and spend time "building their empire"...

and every day i see kids - not unlike my sister in law - with head to toe gang colors, bandannas over their faces, hats turned sideways and crooked, pants down to their knees with underwear hanging out... covered in tattoos of various vulgarities and piercings of various sizes and shapes too many to count all over their arms, legs and even their faces.

i just want to walk up and ask such people...

"Do you really expect the world to take you seriously?"

you and I both know that the world does NOT take such individuals seriously.

but what is it?

do they fear success?

do they fear that they wont look "cool"?

are they simply lazy?

stupid?

my family is near the end of their rope... child protective services is of little or no help... all we can do is speak to relatives, friends of the family and whoever will speak to us willingly to peice together the intricate parts of this puzzle my sister and law has laid out before us.

in the end.

to hell with my sister in law... in the 7 years i have been married into this family she has been a thorn.

the real victims are these children... who, according to the pictures on myspace are being taught things like gang signs, and how to dress like thugs and drug dealers.

i pray for a swift solution which places these children on a path of dignity, grace, education and a quality lifestyle.