Ship Sighted! (Balz)

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

Anyone with some time in the U-boat service is familiar with this. Days and days, sometimes weeks at a time, no bloody contacts. The sea is empty and the crew is about to go nuts. That is when the leadership of a great commander such as me is required.

Things were dead. There was no joy of listening on the hydrophone for the sweet melody of distant screws approaching. Only the waves roared as they crashed against my boat. The sea was empty.

To insure my crew knew they had a great commander, I lay on my bunk knitting a sweater. Yes! That's what I was doing. My mother sends me presents, but I can only collect the things when in port. Now, knitting a sweater requires great skill, especially when a great commander will be wearing it.

I use blue wool and red. Once the sweater is finished on the front of the sweater, in red letters it will display my name, Balz. On the back, YOUR GREAT COMMANDER, will be written in bold letters. This way my crew will know for sure they are being led by the great Balz.

From the conning tower came the shout, "Schiff gesichted!"

Fortunately Bernard was in his bunk, so I didn't have to listen to his lengthy and repetitious blather. A Kriegsmarine officer must be brief and to the point. You know, accurate. Repetition is a no-no in the Kriesgmarine. That's why I never repeat myself. Saying the same thing twice is repeating oneself. A great leader's speech should be brief and to the point. The more one talks, the less people understand and long winded explanations are the enemy of short and direct speech. A clear mind and staccato orders even in a pub are essential for clear thinking and being understood clearly.

So I put my knitting down and ordered, "Periscope depth."

Kptlt. Johan Sebastian Balz