Bernard's Daily Grind (Balz)

Brag · 02-02-08, 11:22 AM

Lt. Otto Kalb writes:

09 November 1940
Aboard U-124

On our sixth day of patrol we sat in the officers' nook watching Balz spin a coin on the table. This was the most interesting activity after a frustrating 48 hours trying to find a convoy.
"We have a great U-boot," Balz said, "We have lots of torpedoes. And we have a great choir. What's missing is ships in this empty and forlorn sea."
Bernard smiled and said, "Herr Kaleun, I have an idea."
Balz grimaced as if eating lemons. "Yes?"
"We can pretend a ship is coming."
"That's a wonderfull idea."
"I can be the ship." Bernard inflated his chest and made a series of chuggah chuggah sounds.
"Then what?"
"Then, we fire a torpedo from tube one. Whoooosh."
"A real torpedo?"
"Sure, you can't miss against an imaginary target. Here he comes, chuggah, chugha. A big freighter Chugah, womp, chuggah whomp.
"You idiot, we need boom-boom. Go to the galley. Grind some coffee, count 3682 coffee grounds through the microscope and place them in a match box."
"But I already have three match boxes ready."
"I want more. go to your daily grind."
Bernard shuffled off to the galley where he'd been spending twelve hours a day counting coffee grounds.
"Now with that idiot out of the way, we can have an intelligent conversation." Balz stopped spinning the coin. "Can anyone explain to me how come we see plenty of tea cozies and never a coffee one?"

<---Balz's choir (stolen from Jimbuna)

Jimbuna · 02-02-08, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Bernard shuffled off to the galley where he'd been spending twelve hours a day counting coffee grounds.

LMAO

papa_smurf · 02-02-08, 02:24 PM

Things must be getting really desperate for the crew of U-124 :rotfl: :rotfl:

Brag · 02-02-08, 02:49 PM

"Freighter,fast!" The sound operator yelled.
"Action stations," Balz bellowed as he jumped out of his bunk and grabbing his tea cozy. "New heading one two zero, ahead flank, surface. Up periscope!"
The watch crew climbed up the conning tower. Balz put his tea cozy on. In the red light his face became became black. He took the tea cozy off. This revealed a dusty mound on his head.
He looked into the tea cozy and sniffed. "Who is the bastard who filled my tea cozy with coffee grounds?"

joea · 02-02-08, 05:48 PM

Too much caffeine is bad for you! :rotfl:

bigboywooly · 02-02-08, 06:27 PM

Balz has a mutiny brewing
Well there are no coffee grounds left

:rotfl:

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr · 02-04-08, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Aboard U-124

stop stealing my boat while im still on it

papa_smurf · 02-04-08, 12:10 PM

Brag just keeps on being relly lucky, when it comes to escaping enemy escorts............but will it last with Beranrd aboard:hmm:

Jimbuna · 02-04-08, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaleu. Jochen Mohr

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Aboard U-124

stop stealing my boat while im still on it

Your lucky.....I keep losing my musically and dance talented crewmembers

Kaleu. Jochen Mohr · 02-04-08, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaleu. Jochen Mohr

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Aboard U-124

stop stealing my boat while im still on it

Your lucky.....I keep losing my musically and dance talented crewmembers

a crewmember is not as valuable as a boat, becouse you need a boat to have a crew

Brag · 02-04-08, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaleu. Jochen Mohr

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaleu. Jochen Mohr

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brag

Aboard U-124

stop stealing my boat while im still on it

Your lucky.....I keep losing my musically and dance talented crewmembers

a crewmember is not as valuable as a boat, becouse you need a boat to have a crew

You need to send a report to BDU in triplicate explaining the parallel boat assignment it probably has to do with otherworld parallelism or GWXlichkeit as the case might be. Speaking of cases, do you happen to have an extra one of scotch?

02-02-08, 11:22 AM	#1
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Bernard's Daily Grind (Balz) Lt. Otto Kalb writes: 09 November 1940 Aboard U-124 On our sixth day of patrol we sat in the officers' nook watching Balz spin a coin on the table. This was the most interesting activity after a frustrating 48 hours trying to find a convoy. "We have a great U-boot," Balz said, "We have lots of torpedoes. And we have a great choir. What's missing is ships in this empty and forlorn sea." Bernard smiled and said, "Herr Kaleun, I have an idea." Balz grimaced as if eating lemons. "Yes?" "We can pretend a ship is coming." "That's a wonderfull idea." "I can be the ship." Bernard inflated his chest and made a series of chuggah chuggah sounds. "Then what?" "Then, we fire a torpedo from tube one. Whoooosh." "A real torpedo?" "Sure, you can't miss against an imaginary target. Here he comes, chuggah, chugha. A big freighter Chugah, womp, chuggah whomp. "You idiot, we need boom-boom. Go to the galley. Grind some coffee, count 3682 coffee grounds through the microscope and place them in a match box." "But I already have three match boxes ready." "I want more. go to your daily grind." Bernard shuffled off to the galley where he'd been spending twelve hours a day counting coffee grounds. "Now with that idiot out of the way, we can have an intelligent conversation." Balz stopped spinning the coin. "Can anyone explain to me how come we see plenty of tea cozies and never a coffee one?" <---Balz's choir (stolen from Jimbuna) __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/ Last edited by Brag; 02-02-08 at 12:40 PM.

02-02-08, 02:24 PM	#3
papa_smurf Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: High Peak, Derbyshire Posts: 2,851 Downloads: 33 Uploads: 0	Things must be getting really desperate for the crew of U-124 :rotfl: :rotfl: __________________

02-02-08, 02:49 PM	#4
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	"Freighter,fast!" The sound operator yelled. "Action stations," Balz bellowed as he jumped out of his bunk and grabbing his tea cozy. "New heading one two zero, ahead flank, surface. Up periscope!" The watch crew climbed up the conning tower. Balz put his tea cozy on. In the red light his face became became black. He took the tea cozy off. This revealed a dusty mound on his head. He looked into the tea cozy and sniffed. "Who is the bastard who filled my tea cozy with coffee grounds?" __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/ Last edited by Brag; 02-02-08 at 06:21 PM.

02-02-08, 06:27 PM	#6
bigboywooly Rear Admiral Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Swindon, England Posts: 10,151 Downloads: 35 Uploads: 0	Balz has a mutiny brewing Well there are no coffee grounds left :rotfl: __________________ My mediafire page http://www.mediafire.com/?11eoq19bq9r41

02-04-08, 12:10 PM	#8
papa_smurf Ocean Warrior Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: High Peak, Derbyshire Posts: 2,851 Downloads: 33 Uploads: 0	Brag just keeps on being relly lucky, when it comes to escaping enemy escorts............but will it last with Beranrd aboard:hmm: __________________

02-02-08, 05:48 PM	#5
joea Silent Hunter Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: At periscope depth in Lake Geneva Posts: 3,512 Downloads: 25 Uploads: 0	Too much caffeine is bad for you! :rotfl: