Balz Completes his first GWZ2.O Patrol

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

03 Dezember 1939

Dearest Mutti,
Exactly one month after departing to face the enemy, your beloved son is back! After sinking the HMS Rodney and five other ships to an aggregated 76,000 tons of British shipping, I am now a war hero. Still under-appreciated as the cheap admiral only gave me an Iron Cross 2nd. But it is good enough for hanging out at the railway station where travellers can admire me.

Your exceptional son,

Lt. Z. S. Johan Sebastian Balz.


To BDU
From Lt.z.S. J.S. Balz, U-52
Subj: Hoochie woochie, no boom boom
As I heroically avoided a destroyer while attacking HMS Rodney one of the torpedoes failed to explode. Only my superb marksmanship saved the day and the British monster went down anyway.

After that brilliant engagement despite the failure of 5 torpedoes, I still managed to sink 5 more ships. This large percentage of boom boom failure id distressing, to say the least.

Torpedo failures break up the rythm of battle. You launch a torpedo and start counting. einz, zwei, hoochie woochie . . . you hold your breath and there is no boom boom.

My mother is very disappointed. If you need to talk about this problem, in the next few days you can find me at the railway station where I will be strutting up and down the platforms.

[Fenris_Wolf]

[Brag]

ROFL-LMAO :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[U49]

Although Balz is the most annoying Uboot Kaleun, his actions prove why he was been tasked with the leadership a multi-million Reichsmark expensive weapon

I just left the Kiel-canal for my first patrol in sept.'39... still type II

[Jimbuna]

LMAO :rotfl:

[HW3]

And there to greet him on his triumphant return was Thomsen.

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

I have borrowed money from the Widow Schlaffenwald, so the drinks are on me .
It's hoochie woochie party time!



(hoochie woochies borrowed from Jimbuna)

[Mush Martin]

you should come uber to my boot for a tot in the wardroom.

[Brag]

Thank you, Mush, I'll have some of that precious, rare whisky you're hiding.

[Mush Martin]

Bless you for that young Balz as a Consequence of your consideration
as the head of the mess I bestow upon you the new title of Esquire.
go you now in your stupor out into the world with a title of distinction
that will tell the ladies of your uhm............distinct character yes !
thats it distincing drunk character but a character none the less
Cheers mate.

[papa_smurf]

To: Herr Balz
From: Heinz Buder, U-94

Have heard of your sucessful patrol, and congratulations in sinking the Rodney! That will show the RN that WE rule the seas now, and should accept it and surrender without haste.
I have now completed my patrol and heading back to base at best speed.
Keep some drinks for me and my crew.

Heinz Buder.

[Brag]

Balz stagger-struts around the docks trying to navigate his way to the officers' quarters.

"Tra la la. Einz, zwei, hoochie woochie. Meet me in Balzimooreee, you hooochie woooochie. Hello everybody. I've got a medal!

"Hoochie woochie, boom boom. Take that, you Englander Tommy. I like my sumbie oh sumbie of mine, we fire torpedoes so you'll rest in the slime. Hoochie woochie."

[Fenris_Wolf]

[Brag]

J.S. Balz writes:

Churchill sent me a nice note and his picture. Considering his comments, I asked a friend in Lisbon to order me a bowler hat in London. Then I will have more English style than Winnie. He could use a new tie advisor.

You either have hoochie woochie or you don't.