Airplanes, RAF Schmutzes

[Brag]

Lt.z.S. Otto Kalb writes:

U-502
19 October 1941

We were comfortable with our standing orders: If you spot a plane, order crash dive. Then Captain Balz changed it all

"Sound contact, medium speed"
Within minutes we had an estimated intercept 15 kms. to the south. Balz ordered "Decks awash, 6 meters."
We surface into a mess of heavy seas, boat won't do over 6 knots. Waves wash the bridge. Balz appears on the bridge carrying an umbrella.
"What's the umbrella for, Herr Kaleun?"
"Against the rain, obviously."
"But it isn't raining."
Balz smiles. "You see, it works."
A huge wave almost drowns us.
"Flugzeug gesichted," a lookout shouts.
I reach for the alarm bell.
Balz whacks my hand with his umbrella. "We're staying on the surface or we'll miss that ship."
I order the flack crew to man the AA guns.
"Nein, nein," Balz screams. "We only dive when we see their eyes pop as they realize the great Balz is their target."
We watch the two Hurricanes fade to the west.
15 minutes later, the lookouts spot an Anson.
"Alaaaarm," Balz yells. We scramble down the hatch and pass ten meters in 18 seconds. The Anson drops bombs somewhere else.
I ask Balz, "How do you know when to dive and when to stay on the surface?"
"It's my great ability and hoochie-woochie. With decks awash, they have trouble spotting us. We'll have choir practice while this plane remains in the area. Einz zwei, hoochie-woochie."

Otto Kalb 1WO U-502