BAlz is back!

[Brag]

To Adolf Hitler
From Kptlt, J.S. Balz
29 September 1940

Mein Fuhrer,
I'm back from another successful patrol where with my skill and cunning sank over 100,000 tons, including seven tankers. Since I already have every possible award given by the Reich, I thought you may enjoy rewarding me with a different honour. Since we pretty much own it, you may find it your pleasure to rename the Baltic Sea as das Balzik See. Should Sweden object, I volunteer to sink their Navy. If the USSR complains, feel free to attack them. Of course the Balzic States will be delighted to be on my sea. Having a sea called after a German like me will elevate the prestige of the Reich.

Your best officer in the Kriegsmarine
Johan Sebastian Balz.

PS. I wrote a special song for the occasion: Das Baltischer See Ist ein Balz Hoochie-woochie

[Packerton]

I can Argue For this


So this is how Russia entered the war :rotfl:

[Schöneboom]

O Gott, nein... I think der Führer likes das Hoochie-Woochie!

[Brag]

Ein Volk, ein Reich, eine hoochey woochie!!!

Sieg hoochie!

[Packerton]

Ahahahaha This is Great :rotfl:

[papa_smurf]

I think Balz's ego has got way too big for his own good!

[STEED]

From Adolf Hitler
To Kptlt, J.S. Balz
5 October 1940


Your place or my place big boy

A.H.

[IrischKapitan]

BDU

TO:
Kptlt J.S. Balz,

I knew Der Fuhrer would refuse your request even though he is a great fan of you, and of, ahem, your great skill as a songwriter.

The following is top secret!

Lufwaffe aeriel intelligence reports that a large battle-cruiser possibly HMS HOOD or another large Royal Navy Battlship is docked in Portsmoth. It is probabaly a safegaurd against operation SEELOWE

Since you are our best commander and we may never get a chance to demish British morale like this again.

Your Primary Mission is as follows: Infiltrate the defences of Portsmoth and sink any British Capital Ships docked there. Also take reconissence shots of the port defences as intelligence prior to Operation SEELOWE

Secondray Mission: Infiltrate the defences of Portsmoth and sink any ship merchant or navy. Also take reconissence shots of the port defences as intelligence prior to Operation SEELOWE

When you have completed your objective proceed to complete your patrol grid.

Should you complete this mission (surley a pice of cake to you), I'm sure the Fuhrer will complete any request of yours and I shall personally assure that ''Der Hoochie Woochie'' shall be broadcast over the international airwaves in your honour. Who knows enemy troops may surrender when hearing it !!

Good Luck, und Gut Jadgt!

Gross Adrimal Reader
Reader

[Kaleu. Jochen Mohr]

Originally Posted by IrischKapitan

Who knows enemy troops may surrender when hearing it !!

i bet they will :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

and OH NEIN! BALZ IST ZURÜK! WO IST MEIN LUGHER

[Brag]

To Gross Admiral Raeder (Eyes only)
From BDU -- Urgent!

Dear Admiral,
Has your staff studied the implications of sending Balz to Portsmouth?
What if the egomaniac succeeds?
Can you imagine Balz as the Bull of Porstmouth? Or worse: The Great Portsmouth Hoochie-woochie, grand phoobah of the 7 seas?
He has already given Der Fuhrer the hoochie-woochie palsy. After Balz's return you will be saddled with hosting and feting the miserable beggar!

Awaiting your final disposition before issuing sailing orders. U-53 should be completing refit within 10 days.

Respectfuly,
Doenitz.

[IrischKapitan]

Originally Posted by Brag

To Gross Admiral Raeder (Eyes only)
From BDU -- Urgent!

Dear Admiral,
Has your staff studied the implications of sending Balz to Portsmouth?
What if the egomaniac succeeds?
Can you imagine Balz as the Bull of Porstmouth? Or worse: The Great Portsmouth Hoochie-woochie, grand phoobah of the 7 seas?
He has already given Der Fuhrer the hoochie-woochie palsy. After Balz's return you will be saddled with hosting and feting the miserable beggar!

Awaiting your final disposition before issuing sailing orders. U-53 should be completing refit within 10 days.

Respectfuly,
Doenitz.

TO: Adrimal Doenitz (eyes only)
RE:Kptlt J.S. Balz

Yes we have studied the implications of sending the Kptlt to Portsmoth. The Hood Being sunk would greatly affect british morale. He also shall be retired from active service after his sucessfull mission. I hear there is a posting for a naval liason officer in the Luftwaffe - let Goreings boys deal with him!!

The Mission still stands!! I have full faith in Balz (although his ego beign bigger then der pacific), He shall complete his mission sucessfully, I guarenntee it!! And don't worry about Hoochie Woochie. It will be broadcast on British freqiencies only!!!

Gross Adrimal Reader.

[Brag]

To Kptlt Johen Mohr (Eyes only)
From BDU

You are the grand expert on harbour raids.
We are planning an operation into Portsmouth, could you give a briefing on location of minefields, antisubmarine nets, enemy patrols, depth of water and other information on this target?

Your assistance is expected and appreciated.

Doenitz

[Kaleu. Jochen Mohr]

Originally Posted by Brag

To Kptlt Johen Mohr (Eyes only)
From BDU

You are the grand expert on harbour raids.
We are planning an operation into Portsmouth, could you give a briefing on location of minefields, antisubmarine nets, enemy patrols, depth of water and other information on this target?

Your assistance is expected and appreciated.

Doenitz

From: Korvettenkapitän Mohr
to: BDU

in wich way ? leaning him in the minefields or arround them ? :hmm: :rotfl:

[CapZap1970]

Herr Kptlt. Balz:
As always, it's a pleasure to have you back.
Due to the constant success of your patrols, I've decided to be the official coordinator for your welcome parties.
Consuela told me that since you are the main source of income, she is giving me a special rate until war is over.
:rotfl: :rotfl:
CapZap

[Brag]

Please forward to Volkisher Beobachter, Berlin.
From Hans Offen, special correspondent.

The U-Boot captains have become famous for their excentricities. Captain Kptlt. J'S' Balz certainly meets this definition. At a base in France, he watches the loading of torpedoes from the bridge of U-53 dressed in striped trousers, reefer jacket and bowler hat. From time to time, his head twitches and he murmurs, "Hoochie-woochie."

There is an air of tension on board U-53, which is being sent off to sea much sooner than normal. The rumour is U-53 has been selected for a special mission.
My presence aboard has reinforced the rumour. I will be reporting on this mission at regular intervals.