A hillbilly joke.

Tango589 · 06-10-08, 02:04 PM

Hillbilly Birth

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be
a lantern and said, 'Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am
doing!'

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the
doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think
theres another one coming.' Sure enough, within m inutes he had
delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down
there's another one!' Said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in
a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one
coming!' cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the
doctor, .. . . . . 'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin'
'em?'

Safe-Keeper · 06-10-08, 03:52 PM

:rotfl:

Everyone sing along... "Sweet home Alabama..."

rifleman13 · 06-10-08, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Safe-Keeper

:rotfl:

Everyone sing along... "Sweet home Alabama..."

...Where the skies are so blue
Sweet Home Alabama
Lord, I'm coming home to you
Here I come Alabama!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Ducimus · 06-10-08, 09:46 PM

I have to say upfront a southerner i worked with told me this joke while i was stationed in Mississippi.

Heres the short version, its a reference to the sterotypical southerners family tree:

Young man goes to his father and announces he's getting married. He tells his father about his bride to be, and that It'll be a white wedding as she's still a virgin. To which his father replies, "Boy whats wrong with you! If she ain't good enough for her family, what makes you think she's good enough for ours?!?!"

Yahoshua · 06-10-08, 11:13 PM

that just sent shivers down my spine......

bookworm_020 · 06-10-08, 11:57 PM

That's so wrong on so many levels

Sailor Steve · 06-11-08, 06:48 AM

Don't listen to 'em, Dumicus; that family tree joke is a corker!

Bro: "You don't kiss near as good as mom!"

Sis: "That's what dad says, too!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vern and Luke are passing each other on a bridge, when Vern notices the bag Luke is carrying is squirming.

Vern: "Watchya got in the bag, Luke?"

Luke: "Some piglets!"

Vern: "How many?"

Luke: "If you guess right, I'll let ya have both of 'em."

Vern: "Five?"

d@rk51d3 · 06-11-08, 06:50 AM

Well.........????

Was it five?

Tango589 · 06-11-08, 11:35 AM

Ducimus, that joke is just......bleuugghh.

:rotfl:

Sailor Steve · 06-11-08, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d@rk51d3

Well.........????

Was it five?

No, y'idjit! It was three!

Ducimus · 06-11-08, 09:16 PM

Mississippi reading test (also told to me by a southerner).

Read the following and recite what it says.

MR PIGS
ONOA AINT
OSAR MR PIGS

As for the previous joke, well.. it was told to me, not like i made it up on my own. Im not that creative. :rotfl:

Sailor Steve · 06-12-08, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ducimus

Mississippi reading test (also told to me by a southerner).

Read the following and recite what it says.

MR PIGS
ONOA AINT
OSAR MR PIGS

As for the previous joke, well.. it was told to me, not like i made it up on my own. Im not that creative. :rotfl:

When I was little, it was:

ABCD puppies
LMNO puppies
OSAR
CMP?

Tango589 · 06-12-08, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ducimus

Mississippi reading test (also told to me by a southerner).

Read the following and recite what it says.

MR PIGS
ONOA AINT
OSAR MR PIGS

As for the previous joke, well.. it was told to me, not like i made it up on my own. Im not that creative. :rotfl:

When I was little, it was:

ABCD puppies
LMNO puppies
OSAR
CMP?

I'm probably missing something really obvious, but I don't get either of those reading tests....

Ducimus · 06-12-08, 03:37 PM

If you pass or fail depends on how you phonetically read it:

MR PIGS
ONOA AINT
OSAR MR PIGS

Theres two ways.

Way No 1:
The way the educated person would read it, and read out.

"Mr. Pigs.
onoah aint.
Osar Mr. Pigs"

Which would be followed by a quizzical look for reading such gibberish. This person would fail this test.

Way no 2:
THe southern hilll billy approach with a thick southern accent.

Them are pigs
Oh no they aint
Oh yes they are, Them are pigs

FIREWALL · 06-12-08, 04:13 PM

I'm bettin there were 6 pigs in that sack.

06-10-08, 02:04 PM	#1
Tango589 Still crazy as ever! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 3,375 Downloads: 180 Uploads: 1	A hillbilly joke. Hillbilly Birth Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!' Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming.' Sure enough, within m inutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' Said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!' cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, .. . . . . 'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?' __________________ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way...

06-10-08, 03:52 PM	#2
Safe-Keeper Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Norway Posts: 3,234 Downloads: 11 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: Everyone sing along... "Sweet home Alabama..." __________________ First Strike Mod tester. Hardcore sub skipper.

06-10-08, 11:13 PM	#5
Yahoshua The Old Man Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 1,493 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	that just sent shivers down my spine...... __________________ Science is the organized unpredictability that strives not to set limits to mans' capabilities, but is the engine by which the limits of mans' understanding is defined-Yahoshua

06-10-08, 11:57 PM	#6
bookworm_020 Navy Seal Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sinking ships off the Australian coast Posts: 5,966 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	That's so wrong on so many levels __________________ "There is always one person in any organization who knows whats going on, That person must be fired"

06-11-08, 06:48 AM	#7
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Don't listen to 'em, Dumicus; that family tree joke is a corker! Bro: "You don't kiss near as good as mom!" Sis: "That's what dad says, too!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vern and Luke are passing each other on a bridge, when Vern notices the bag Luke is carrying is squirming. Vern: "Watchya got in the bag, Luke?" Luke: "Some piglets!" Vern: "How many?" Luke: "If you guess right, I'll let ya have both of 'em." Vern: "Five?" __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

06-10-08, 09:46 PM	#4
Ducimus Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,987 Downloads: 67 Uploads: 2	I have to say upfront a southerner i worked with told me this joke while i was stationed in Mississippi. Heres the short version, its a reference to the sterotypical southerners family tree: Young man goes to his father and announces he's getting married. He tells his father about his bride to be, and that It'll be a white wedding as she's still a virgin. To which his father replies, "Boy whats wrong with you! If she ain't good enough for her family, what makes you think she's good enough for ours?!?!"

06-11-08, 06:50 AM	#8
d@rk51d3 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Adelaide, South Australia Posts: 1,951 Downloads: 207 Uploads: 0	Well.........???? Was it five?

06-11-08, 11:35 AM	#9
Tango589 Still crazy as ever! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 3,375 Downloads: 180 Uploads: 1	Ducimus, that joke is just......bleuugghh. :rotfl: __________________ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way...

06-11-08, 09:16 PM	#11
Ducimus Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,987 Downloads: 67 Uploads: 2	Mississippi reading test (also told to me by a southerner). Read the following and recite what it says. MR PIGS ONOA AINT OSAR MR PIGS As for the previous joke, well.. it was told to me, not like i made it up on my own. Im not that creative. :rotfl:

06-12-08, 03:37 PM	#14
Ducimus Rear Admiral Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 12,987 Downloads: 67 Uploads: 2	If you pass or fail depends on how you phonetically read it: MR PIGS ONOA AINT OSAR MR PIGS Theres two ways. Way No 1: The way the educated person would read it, and read out. "Mr. Pigs. onoah aint. Osar Mr. Pigs" Which would be followed by a quizzical look for reading such gibberish. This person would fail this test. Way no 2: THe southern hilll billy approach with a thick southern accent. Them are pigs Oh no they aint Oh yes they are, Them are pigs

06-12-08, 04:13 PM	#15
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	I'm bettin there were 6 pigs in that sack. __________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode