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A hillbilly joke.
Hillbilly Birth
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, 'Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!' Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. 'Whoa there', said the doctor, 'Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think theres another one coming.' Sure enough, within m inutes he had delivered a baby girl. 'Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!' Said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby 'No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!' cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, .. . . . . 'You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?' |
:rotfl:
Everyone sing along... "Sweet home Alabama..." |
Alabama
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Sweet Home Alabama Lord, I'm coming home to you Here I come Alabama! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: |
I have to say upfront a southerner i worked with told me this joke while i was stationed in Mississippi.
Heres the short version, its a reference to the sterotypical southerners family tree: Young man goes to his father and announces he's getting married. He tells his father about his bride to be, and that It'll be a white wedding as she's still a virgin. To which his father replies, "Boy whats wrong with you! If she ain't good enough for her family, what makes you think she's good enough for ours?!?!" |
that just sent shivers down my spine......
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That's so wrong on so many levels:nope:
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Don't listen to 'em, Dumicus; that family tree joke is a corker!
Bro: "You don't kiss near as good as mom!" Sis: "That's what dad says, too!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vern and Luke are passing each other on a bridge, when Vern notices the bag Luke is carrying is squirming. Vern: "Watchya got in the bag, Luke?" Luke: "Some piglets!" Vern: "How many?" Luke: "If you guess right, I'll let ya have both of 'em." Vern: "Five?" |
Well.........????
Was it five? :D |
Ducimus, that joke is just......bleuugghh.
:rotfl: |
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Mississippi reading test (also told to me by a southerner).
Read the following and recite what it says. MR PIGS ONOA AINT OSAR MR PIGS As for the previous joke, well.. it was told to me, not like i made it up on my own. Im not that creative. :rotfl: |
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ABCD puppies LMNO puppies OSAR CMP? |
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If you pass or fail depends on how you phonetically read it:
MR PIGS ONOA AINT OSAR MR PIGS Theres two ways. Way No 1: The way the educated person would read it, and read out. "Mr. Pigs. onoah aint. Osar Mr. Pigs" Which would be followed by a quizzical look for reading such gibberish. This person would fail this test. Way no 2: THe southern hilll billy approach with a thick southern accent. Them are pigs Oh no they aint Oh yes they are, Them are pigs |
I'm bettin there were 6 pigs in that sack. :know:
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