Postcard from New York (Via Antilles)

[Gaijin]

March 6th, 1942

To: Bdu

From: U-109 (Lt. Sr. Hein Baus commanding)



Following our assgned grid of CA 28 (New York) last january, I feel it most important to relay our success. Please inform my fellow kaleuns that in no uncertan terms, this is a veritable submariners dream! Make haste to join us. 32000 tonnes in 48 hours. Troop transports, tankers, granvilles even liners all past through these waters. No Air cover spotted. Only one destroyer and one torp. boat seen so far. We have left a trail of hulks stcking out of the sea at the bay's exit, due to the shallow depths here (3-5 m's). With a few more IXB's, the KM could perhaps seal the entire entrance!

The journey out here however is long and uneventful. Through careful management I had intended to conserve enough fuel for the return journey. Unfortunetly, we have made a slight miscalculation. During the outward voyage, a certain seaman Bernard develped a wilingness and penchant for washing clothes extremelly well. The crews garments were returning spotless, so all made good use of his skills. Recently, we discovered his secret...he was washing them in diesel. Hence our fuel supply problems.

With only one torp.remaining and 40% fuel, I checked our resupply timetables. Apparently, U461 will be deployed in early april...which is over two months away. Faced with limited remaining food and water supplies, I took the decision to try docking (Quietly) at the nearest neutal port of Santo Domingo in the Caribeean. Though we entered the port submerged and under cover of darknes, our attempts to surface were noticed by two american merchants who took exception to our presence and lit us up like a firecracker with their guns. We therefore exited the area in a timely efficient manner!

Faced with a long wait and a severe case of homelessness, I took another decision to explore the smaller Islands of the Antilles. Which is how we have ended up here, in DN 67 (South West Corner, largest of the three small unihabited Islands).

We have been here for more then a week now.

Shore parties have secured fresh water and we are saving what is left of ships stores for the outward journey to our milch cow rendevous in April. We have fashioned crude fish traps and makehift lobster pots to augment our situation. Tuesdays are Seaweed Soup Day...Thursdays is Seagull Stew.

The crew are in fine spirits and have taken to the Island in a big way. Kaufman has taken a likeness for wearing non regulation palm tree skirts all day long. Hessler has started an immense sand castle construction that has got to be seen to be believed. Blaudow has taken his new job of spear fishing to heart and is fast becoming an expert (Perhaps we should send him on the torpedo training course when we return, his talents are wasted in the radio shack). Kuhn and Kimmelman have started building a mammoth tree house nearthe Islands summit, complete with balcony. They insist on calling it the NCO's mess which has prompted Balk and Maddaus to experiment in a home made 'Weiss-Brau' made from coconuts. So far they have had no success...it is certainly white alright...but is still not fit for human consumption, as the unfortunate Hans will testify to.

Dr. Reinhard says his voice should return 'any day now'...

I am a little worrid about Albrecht, another radio operater. He spends his days listening for anything on the hydrphone and has recently stared to conduct full blown conversations with Dolphins...via the radio mike. I have restricted his sun contact hours. Concern is also rising regarding Scholtz, who took our running out of cigarettes rather badly. He has spent the last four days smoking a variety of local indiginous plants. The Doctor said he has already gone through 25 seperate plant species and almost half of the remaining empty logbook pages. He may find success on species 26 however. As I write, he seems a lot happier, sitting at the top of a tree, smoking and 'looking at...like,...the stars...and stuff..." If only he would stop giggling...

Finally, I must also return to the afore mentioned Bernard, who despite initial annoyance has continued to supply the crew with constant entertanment. So far he has been severely sunburned...twice; stung by a jellyfish and swollen to an alarming size; chased by a baby but nasty looking octopus and actually headbutted by a bottlenose dolphin.

Out of interest, what would the Brig-Time be, for leaving a man behind?




Well, that seems to be all for now. Only another month to go. Will write again soon. Wish you were here. No really, I do.

Sincerely,

Heinz Baus.



P.S. During the next morse code broadcast schedule, please, please, please send selected excerpts from '1001 things to do with a Coconut'.

Please.