Dear Steve Thread

[Red October1984]

Is 49 old?

No...not really.

You aren't old until you hit like 75.

[fireftr18]

SHE'S A WITCH!

That right there is one of them witches. I'm sure of it! I seen one down at Tommy's field last week.

http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/fireftr18/witch_zps7c0c823a.jpg

[Red October1984]

http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r496/fireftr18/witch_zps7c0c823a.jpg

If she weighs as much as a duck.....SHE'S A WITCH!!!!!

[fireftr18]

If she weighs as much as a duck.....SHE'S A WITCH!!!!!

This is the "Ask Steve" thread. Maybe he can expand on that for us. :06:

[Jimbuna]

Then ask him.

[Armistead]

Donna isn't a witch, but don't get her started or she'll turn into one.

[fireftr18]

Donna isn't a witch, but don't get her started or she'll turn into one.

What about that Avatar of hers? :06: Morticia looks kind witchy to me. :haha:

[Mork_417]

Dear Steve,
All this talk about wiccans, witches, and whether she is, or she isn't... Well, it's making me hungry. Is that a normal reaction, or should i seek professional assistance in the matter?



Thanks,
Robert

[Armistead]

What about that Avatar of hers? :06: Morticia looks kind witchy to me. :haha:


Was Morticia a witch? I don't recall her doing witchy things, flying on brooms and such. I think she's a nice looking zombie. Donna on the other hand probably doesn't know what a broom is, nor a stove, can opener, toilet brush. etc. Anyway, my vote is Donna is a zombie.

Let's wait for the great Steve, only he'll know what Donna really is.

[Sailor Steve]

Dear Steve,
All this talk about wiccans, witches, and whether she is, or she isn't... Well, it's making me hungry. Is that a normal reaction,
Talking about women makes you hungry? That's not the reaction that usually comes to mind.

or should i seek professional assistance in the matter?
Fifty bucks please.

[Dowly]

Dear Steve,

If James Bond and James T. Kirk would happen to be in the same room with one woman.
Who would get her?

[Sailor Steve]

Dear Steve,

If James Bond and James T. Kirk would happen to be in the same room with one woman.
Who would get her?
Jim West.

[Armistead]

Jim West.


Haha, one of your best answers yet.....and my wife would agree.

[fireftr18]

Was Morticia a witch? I don't recall her doing witchy things, flying on brooms and such. I think she's a nice looking zombie. Donna on the other hand probably doesn't know what a broom is, nor a stove, can opener, toilet brush. etc.

That explains why the aft torpedo room and head are always such a mess. :eek: I guess I know the job for the next newby. :03:

[Sailor Steve]

Haha, one of your best answers yet.....and my wife would agree.
My mom loved Robert Conrad's tight pants.

[Armistead]

My mom loved Robert Conrad's tight pants.

Yea, most women loved him back then, my mom as well. My wife says a young Conrad is one of her favorites, well him and Sam Elliot.

[Armistead]

Dear Steve,

Due to lack of customers, we can no longer afford to stay in business, unless we design more scams. As hard as it is for me to say this, it seems people really don't like your advice and we're old news. I would resign, but you would fire me, so I quit. I really didn't like working for you anyway. Good luck on any future endeavors.

Your humble servant,

Arm.

PS. I just thought of something..........

[Red October1984]

Dear Steve and Armistead...

Please don't go out of business. I still enjoy this thread and it has been nominated for best of 2013.

You CAN'T stop now! :arrgh!:

[Armistead]

I can only carry a thread so far and I'm tired of being paid with peanuts, plus he offers no benefits other than a weekly massage. I don't like Dr. Steve, but his advice is far advanced for the misfits here at Subsim. I'm certainly not goint to continue without major changes in his office. If he ask me to stay, offers medical insurance instead of back rubs, I'll consider it.

[Mork_417]

Dear Steve,
I recently made what I consider a very exciting purchase. I was so excited that I completely forgot about DVD regions, and their rules. :oops: My question is... Should i feel like a complete idiot? :/\\!!


Thanks,
Robert



P.S. I read some where that your rates may be going up. Is there any truth to the rumors?

[Sailor Steve]

Dear Steve,
I recently made what I consider a very exciting purchase. I was so excited that I completely forgot about DVD regions, and their rules. :oops: My question is... Should i feel like a complete idiot? :/\\!!
Yes you should. On the other hand, you're not alone. There are many complete idiots in the world. I would consider myself a perfect idiot, but I know nobody's perfect. :sunny:

P.S. I read some where that your rates may be going up. Is there any truth to the rumors?
Yes. As of today my fee is going up to $0. I will no longer be paying people to ask me questions.

[donna52522]

Dear Dr. Steve,

I had recently started a group on Facebook called Paranoids Anonymous , but people keep trying to join it. Do you think there may be some sort of conspiracy.

Signed,
Hiding under the bed.

[Sailor Steve]

Sorry, you can't fool me. I'm not going to be tricked into looking at your evil website. I did look under my bed though, and you weren't there, so I guess for now I'm safe.

[Red October1984]

Dr. Steve.

Is Cmdr Williams ready to return to combat status.

Yes_____

No______

I don't care_________

Article 32 Hearing (http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?t=203580)

[Armistead]

Cmdr Williams,

Welcome to the office of Dr. Steve. Please go to office A, remove your clothes and wait for Dr. Steve.

Armistead
Office Manager

[mapuc]

Cmdr Williams,

Welcome to the office of Dr. Steve. Please go to office A, remove your clothes and wait for Dr. Steve.

Armistead
Office Manager

Is that a common thing you do in USA, when you visit your psychiatrist, taking of all your clothes ?

Markus

[Red October1984]

Cmdr Williams,

Welcome to the office of Dr. Steve. Please go to office A, remove your clothes and wait for Dr. Steve.

Armistead
Office Manager

Uh...

Damn....forgot you were the Office Assistant too... :hmmm:

*strips to underwear*

That's as far as I'll go. If you want more, you'll have to pay.

[frau kaleun]

*strips to underwear*

That's as far as I'll go. If you want more, you'll have to pay.

When he sees the size of your feet, he'll probably pay double. :har:

[Armistead]

Is that a common thing you do in USA, when you visit your psychiatrist, taking of all your clothes ?

Markus

I think Dr. Steve simply checks reflexes, although he has gone into the exam room with rubber gloves on. Legally, he can only give advice, the physicals are done pro boner, bono, ....just some word Steve uses.

[Red October1984]

I think Dr. Steve simply checks reflexes, although he has gone into the exam room with rubber gloves on. Legally, he can only give advice, the physicals are done pro boner, bono, ....just some word Steve uses.

Uh...

There will be no "Pro Boner" procedures involved here. This is to evaluate my mind....not....other things...

[Sailor Steve]

Dr. Steve.
Who? What? Where...?

Umm, did I fall asleep?

Shall I go now?

Wait. Wrong show.

Is Cmdr Williams ready to return to combat status.
Cmdr Who? Who's the Doctor here? Combat? Return? Is this a trick? Did Macarthur put you up to this?

Yes_____
Yes. What was the question?

No______
I wish you'd make up your mind.

I don't care_________
What? No "Maybe"? Oh, wait. I'm supposed to ask the questions? Actually I do care...about something. I forget what for the moment. But I'm sure it will come back to me.

Armistead! Have you seen my boomerang?...OW! Never mind! Found it!

Article 32 Hearing
Sorry, we don't do advertising. Especially for rival law firms.

[Sailor Steve]

Cmdr Williams,

Welcome to the office of Dr. Steve. Please go to office A, remove your clothes and wait for Dr. Steve.

Armistead
Office Manager
I told you, not unless they're pretty!






I don't care if YOU find him pretty!

[Sailor Steve]

Uh...

Damn....forgot you were the Office Assistant too... :hmmm:

*strips to underwear*

That's as far as I'll go. If you want more, you'll have to pay.
If you show more, I'll pay you to go away!

[Sailor Steve]

When he sees the size of your feet, he'll probably pay double. :har:
Charge double, you mean! If he hasn't been using Dr. Steve's patented foot odor protection, I'll charge triple!

[Sailor Steve]

I think Dr. Steve simply checks reflexes, although he has gone into the exam room with rubber gloves on. Legally, he can only give advice, the physicals are done pro boner, bono, ....just some word Steve uses.
The rubber gloves are to protect myself from getting cooties. You never know where these cretins have been. As for the physicals, there's nothing pro about them. Strictly con. I take their money, tell them they look ordinary enough and leave them to find their own way out. And they don't have to take off any clothes. That's Armistead's fetish, not mine.

[Sailor Steve]

Uh...

There will be no "Pro Boner" procedures involved here. This is to evaluate my mind....not....other things...
Your mind looks fine. Fifty bucks please.

And for God's sake, put some clothes on! What kind of place do you think I'm running here?

That's disgusting! :dead:

[Red October1984]

Does LTCMDR Williams get to return to the USS Grenadier or not?! :06:

[Sailor Steve]

LTCMDR Williams
Two hours ago he was a CMDR. He got demoted that fast? He'll be an Ensign before sunup. Maybe we can get him a PT boat. Or a garbage scow.

[Red October1984]

Two hours ago he was a CMDR. He got demoted that fast? He'll be an Ensign before sunup. Maybe we can get him a PT boat. Or a garbage scow.

He was originally a LTCMDR

[Sailor Steve]

He was originally a LTCMDR
That's not what you said before. Is he a liar or just stupid? Or does he think I'm stup...DON'T ANSWER THAT!!

[Red October1984]

That's not what you said before. Is he a liar or just stupid? Or does he think I'm stup...DON'T ANSWER THAT!!

I think that if you do some reasearch you will find that Eugene D. Williams was originally a LTCMDR in my career.

Are you going to return him to combat status or what? :hmmm:

[Sailor Steve]

I think that if you do some reasearch you will find that Eugene D. Williams was originally a LTCMDR in my career.
Why should I have to research anything. Either you were lying then or you're lying now. Either way, you're a dirty lying liar telling lies about whether my gun was loaded or not...wait, wrong movie.

Are you going to return him to combat status or what? :hmmm:
Why is this my job? I intentionally stayed out of your thread, especially after you didn't even bother to ask me to be your lawyer. I have a reputation for that sort of thing, you know? Best defense minimum wage can buy. :sunny:

[Red October1984]

Why is this my job? I intentionally stayed out of your thread, especially after you didn't even bother to ask me to be your lawyer. I have a reputation for that sort of thing, you know? Best defense minimum wage can buy. :sunny:

It's your job because the court appointed you to perform this task.

The Admiral needs an answer. :stare:

[Cybermat47]

The Admiral needs an answer. :stare:

Do I?

[Sailor Steve]

It's your job because the court appointed you to perform this task.
I just read through the entire court transcript. You refused counsel, preferring to do it yourself. The only time I'm mentioned in the transcript is by you, shouting out after the verdict was delivered. Now you're lying again, saying the court ordered me to take part when there is no such record. I'd say you got what you deserved.

The Admiral needs an answer. :stare:
The Admiral gave his answer. I'm thinking you got off lightly.

[Father Goose]

Excuse me, Dr. Steve.
Lt. Goose, Admiral Armistead's aide. I realize LCDR Williams has been through a terrible ordeal and his statements are barely coherent. As a result, I am delivering this transcript from the court records in an attempt to clarify the patient's status here at your office.

Here it is sir.
It is the order of this court that LCDR Eugene D. Williams be relieved of command of the USS Grenadier and that he is to be admitted to Subsim Psychiatric Hospital and placed under the care of Dr. Steve O.L.D.

LCDR Eugene D. Williams can only return to combat status with the written approval of Dr. Steve O.L.D. and accept mission given by Admiral Armistead.

LCDR Eugene D. Williams can remain a member of Subsim, but in low standing.

Dr. Steve, as you can see the court has ordered:
1) LCDR Williams relieved from his command on the USS Grenadier. DONE
2) LCDR Williams be admitted to the Subsim Psychiatric Hospital and placed under your care. DONE
3) LCDR Williams remains a member of low-standing of Subsim. DONE

The only issue remaining sir is, if and when you decide after evaluation, diagnosis, prognosis, treatments, injections, shock therapy, psychiatric sessions, and of course, after the patient pays his bill, if the patient is competent to return to combat duty. If that point is ever reached, the patient is ordered to report to Admiral Armistead for reassignment at the Admiral's discretion.

Admiral Armistead is fully aware that everything this patient experienced on his last patrol and based on his behavior before and during trial, that your treatment may take weeks, months, even years! The Admiral is not pushing you for a decison. The Admiral is confident LCDR Williams is in good hands and will receive the treatment he deserves.

Thank you sir. :salute:

[Armistead]

I cannot speak in or as for Admiral Armistead in my office capacity. Here I'm a mere employee.

[Father Goose]

I cannot speak in or as for Admiral Armistead in my office capacity. Here I'm a mere employee.

I understand that. I did note you had the same last name as the Admiral.
It's a nice office Dr. Steve has here. Any chance he treats "multiple personality disorder"? :hmmm:

[Armistead]

I see further charges have been made against LTJG Eugene D. Williams and under review by Admiral Armistead.

Armistead
Office Manager.

[Father Goose]

Dr. Steve...
Capt. Goose (I like the sound of that), Admiral Armistead's aide. I have the recent court orders pertaining to LTJG Williams for you sir.

Regarding further charges against LTJG Williams by Dr. Steve O.L.D, I hear by order LTJG Eugene Williams to be evaluated by Dr. Steve O.L.D. to determine if he is capable to stand trial regarding charges made by Dr. Steve O.L.D. If LTJG Eugene Williams has been found capable of combat
by Dr. Steve O.L.D, and also found competent to stand trial of the second offense by Dr. Steve O.L.D, I order him taken in custody and delivered to this court for trial. I then also order counsel on his behalf and appoint Dr. Steve O.L.D to represent him.

Admiral Armistead

Admiral Armistead is also requesting verification that LCJG Williams is still in custody of Subsim Psychiatric Hospital.

Good day sir. :salute:

[Sailor Steve]

Excuse me, Dr. Steve. Blah, blah, blah...

Dr. Steve, as you can see the court has ordered:
How nice for you.

1) LCDR Williams relieved from his command on the USS Grenadier. DONE
Great. He doesn't need me to decide whether he gets his command back.

2) LCDR Williams be admitted to the Subsim Psychiatric Hospital and placed under your care. DONE
1) I'm not a navy psychiatrist.
2) I'm not a psychiatrist of any kind. I'm just a guy who answers silly questions. Sometimes.

3) LCDR Williams remains a member of low-standing of Subsim. DONE
Who says his standing is "low"? If I didn't hear it from Der Onkel then I didn't hear it at all.

The only issue remaining sir is, if and when you decide after evaluation, diagnosis, prognosis, treatments, injections, shock therapy, psychiatric sessions, and of course, after the patient pays his bill, if the patient is competent to return to combat duty. If that point is ever reached, the patient is ordered to report to Admiral Armistead for reassignment at the Admiral's discretion.
Oh. is THAT all? I'm not sure if he's competent to tie his shoelaces. On the other hand I feel the same way about YOU. Me, I use velcro.

Admiral Armistead is fully aware that everything this patient experienced on his last patrol and based on his behavior before and during trial, that your treatment may take weeks, months, even years! The Admiral is not pushing you for a decison. The Admiral is confident LCDR Williams is in good hands and will receive the treatment he deserves.
Maybe the Admiral needs a psychiatrist.

He, wait a minute! ARMISTEAD! Have you been moonlighting again, or is this 'Admiral' guy another one of your unsavory relatives? If the former, I'm going to have to put you back on peanuts. If the latter, one of you is a black sheep. Do I have to guess which one, or are you going to 'fess up?

Thank you sir. :salute:
No problem. Fifty bucks, please.

[Sailor Steve]

It's a nice office Dr. Steve has here. Any chance he treats "multiple personality disorder"? :hmmm:
Yes, we do. Or rather he does. I don't. I think. Or maybe I don't do that either...

[Father Goose]

Dr. Steve, the Subsim Bureau of Investigation sent me over here on an urgent matter. Their Article 32 investigation of then LCDR Williams uncovered several "leads" that they are pursuing. It appears that then LCDR Williams may have only been "the tip of the iceberg". Of course, I cannot go into detail regarding those leads, only to say they have reason to believe that two suspects may be entering the Subsim Psychiatric Hospital with the sole purpose of unlawfully extracting LTJG Williams from your facility.

The two friends/sympathizers are:
1) LCDR Ray Green, USN, aka "les green01". The Bureau has named this individual a target of an investigation suspecting activity similar in nature to LCDR Williams charges. LCDR Green appeared at the Article 32 Hearing unannounced and made an absurd request that LCDR Williams "stay on the USS Grenadier". After the hearing, LCDR Green was observed buying LTJG Williams a drink, believed to be an A&W Rootbeer.

2) an individual known around Subsim as "Cybermat47". There's not much known about this character other than he made a preposterous statement on the record that he believed LCDR Williams was "not guilty". The Bureau also suspects he may be involved in a black market ring on base related to loading electronic equipment in vans after hours.

If either of these individuals enter the Subsim Psychiatric Hospital the Bureau instructs you to call the MPs. The Bureau advises apprehending LCDR Green, taking him into custody and await charges to be filed. The Bureau advises apprehending Cybermat47 and escorting him off the premises. They do not want him detained due to ongoing surveillance.

Good day sir. :salute:

[Sailor Steve]

Dr. Steve...
Capt. Goose (I like the sound of that), Admiral Armistead's aide.
Any relation to the Lt. Goose who died in that unfortunate F-14 incident?

I have the recent court orders pertaining to LTJG Williams for you sir.
And I have evidence indicating that you are not competent to be trusted with delivering orders. I also have evidence that there is no order in de court.

Admiral Armistead is also requesting verification that LCJG Williams is still in custody of Subsim Psychiatric Hospital.
How would I know? I've never even heard of this SPH. Is it part of my HMO? Is it connected to SPECOPS?

Anyway, I had some guy raving that I should decide whether he should be returned to his boat. Was that him? I thought his name was Gilligan.

[Sailor Steve]

Dr. Steve, the Subsim Bureau of Investigation sent me over here on an urgent matter.
SBI? Not another acronym!. I hate acronyms! Never use 'em myself. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an important appointment to keep.

Armistead! Have you seen my SCUBA gear?

...two suspects...
You look pretty suspect yourself. :stare:

may be entering the Subsim Psychiatric Hospital with the sole purpose of unlawfully extracting LTJG Williams from your facility.
Told ya, I never heard of it.

Psst, Armistead. Did you change the sign on the front door?

The two friends/sympathizers are...
Why, oh why, would you want me to spy? I'd rather die.

...the Bureau instructs you to call the MPs.
Oh, great, more acronyms! What do want me to call them? It's well known that I don't normally use that kind of language.

[quote]Good day sir. :salute:
Yeah, have a nice day yourself.

Hippie.

[Armistead]

Dr Steve,

While you were on vacation, I incorporated us as "SPH". to protect our assets and seek tax relief. You signed the forms, but you sign all forms.

I contacted myself as Admiral in my capacity as Office Manager and myself as Admiral does indeed trust Capt. Goose to deliver messages as needed.

Do you want me to file a report in my capacity as Office Manager to myself as Admiral against Capt. Goose regarding your trust issues?

[Father Goose]

Dr. Steve,

When you return from scuba diving, please answer the following questions that have been requested by the court.

Regarding the charges that were filed by Dr. Steve O.L.D {or his office} against LTJG Williams / Article 89—Disrespect toward a superior commissioned officer based on statements made to Dr. Steve by LTJG Williams.

1) Did you file charges against LTJG Williams or were said charges filed by a member of your office?

2) If you filed charges, do you plan to prosecute as well? If so, will you use spell checking?

3) Where is LTJG Williams being held?


As to the subject of LTJG Williams mental competency please address the following court order:
Regarding further charges against LTJG Williams by Dr. Steve O.L.D, I hear by order LTJG Eugene Williams to be evaluated by Dr. Steve O.L.D. to determine if he is capable to stand trial regarding charges made by Dr. Steve O.L.D. If LTJG Eugene Williams has been found capable of combat by Dr. Steve O.L.D, and also found competent to stand trial of the second offense by Dr. Steve O.L.D, I order him taken in custody and delivered to this court for trial. I then also order counsel on his behalf and appoint Dr. Steve O.L.D to represent him.

4) What is your finding pertaining to LTJG Williams mental competency relating to combat fitness?

5) Is LTJG Williams competent to stand trial for the second offense by Dr. Steve O.L.D?

Good day sir. :salute:

Capt. Goose, USN

[Wolferz]

Lock 'em all up!:stare:
This Marzipan incident is closed. [ Bangs gavel ]
:har:

[fireftr18]

Dear Steve,
Would you check on Armistead aka Admiral Armistead. I believe he has multiple personalities and has wrongly accused and charged LTJG Williams. I think it's Armistead that needs the help. Dealing with Wolferz all those years is probably what did it.

Either that or I drank too many Bilge Water Ales.

[Wolferz]

Either that or I drank too many Bilge Water Ales

Along with the shot of Torpedo juice dropped in the mug...
:()1::gulp: And then you went swimming.

Just for the record Doctor Steve, I've done nothing to Armistead that he hasn't already done to himself.:03:

[Armistead]

Dear Steve,
Would you check on Armistead aka Admiral Armistead. I believe he has multiple personalities and has wrongly accused and charged LTJG Williams. I think it's Armistead that needs the help. Dealing with Wolferz all those years is probably what did it.

Either that or I drank too many Bilge Water Ales.

First, the years dealing with Wolferz only related to the character of MWolfe1963. Wolferz has had lil to no effect on my character as Armistead in my capacity as Admiral, Office Manager or Ubirat.

You guys can laugh at all my beings..beins..{is that correct, can I say that} my characters, but you will respect me in my role as Admiral Armistead.

[Father Goose]

To: All Ubirats at the Subsim Psychiatric Hospital

An official message from Admiral Armistead regarding your recent comments.

Ignore the Ubirats, I will not deal with them in my capacity of Admiral. Please advise them I will not be made a fool of in my own court.

I will not have this court made a mockery of...This court and it's procedures will be respected.

[Armistead]

I find all this court stuff silly and a waste of forum space

Armistead as Office Manager.

[Armistead]

I find all this court stuff silly and a waste of forum space

Armistead as Office Manager.

Screw you!
Admiral Armistead

[Sailor Steve]

While you were on vacation, I incorporated us as "SPH". to protect our assets and seek tax relief. You signed the forms, but you sign all forms.
Why doesn't somebody tell me these things?!?

I contacted myself as Admiral in my capacity as Office Manager and myself as Admiral does indeed trust Capt. Goose to deliver messages as needed.
Fine, as long as I don't show up one day to find him sleeping on the couch!

Do you want me to file a report in my capacity as Office Manager to myself as Admiral against Capt. Goose regarding your trust issues?
I want you to keep these people away from me!

Groucho warned me there'd be days like this!

[Father Goose]

Dr. Steve,

I see you have returned from your scuba diving excursion. I trust all went well.
I would like to bring to your attention where you last left off this afternnon, at post 805. Since that time the Subsim court, the honorable Admiral Armistead presiding, has issued numerous questions for you to answer. He even sent me out in the late afternoon on my dinghy to find you.

The Admiral desires to provide LTJG Williams a fair trial in a timely fashion. To be clear, he needs you to answer his questions promptly. I will advise you that Admiral Armistead is prepared to summon you to his courtroom to answer before him if these answers are not provided.

Admiral Armistead's courtroom is now in session as LCDR Green is testifying before the court.

I look forward to reviewing your answers and forwarding them Admiral Armistead.

Good evening sir! :salute:

[Sailor Steve]

Dr. Steve,
Never heard of 'im!

When you return from scuba diving, please answer the following questions that have been requested by the court.
What makes you think I'm ever coming back? Especially now?

Regarding the charges that were filed by Dr. Steve O.L.D {or his office} against LTJG Williams / Article 89—Disrespect toward a superior commissioned officer based on statements made to Dr. Steve by LTJG Williams.
The devil made me do it!

1) Did you file charges against LTJG Williams or were said charges filed by a member of your office?
No.

2) If you filed charges, do you plan to prosecute as well? If so, will you use spell checking?
No!

3) Where is LTJG Williams being held?
A thousand times no!

I mean, I don't know.

I mean, never heard of 'im.

4) What is your finding pertaining to LTJG Williams mental competency relating to combat fitness?
He's mad as a hatter! A little light in the loafers too, if you ask me.

Wait, that's Armistead. Or was that Armistead's assessment of me?

5) Is LTJG Williams competent to stand trial for the second offense by Dr. Steve O.L.D?
Boy, if I ever meet this Williams guy I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind!

Maybe I should take a piece of his instead.

Good day sir.
Easy for you to say. You're not the one being badgered by some court git.

Capt. Goose, USN
Do that again and you better buy me dinner first!

[Sailor Steve]

Lock 'em all up!:stare:
I like this guy! :yep:

This Marzipan incident is closed. [ Bangs gavel ]
:har:
As long as I wasn't accused of taking it, I don't care!

[Sailor Steve]

Dear Steve,
Would you check on Armistead aka Admiral Armistead. I believe he has multiple personalities and has wrongly accused and charged LTJG Williams. I think it's Armistead that needs the help. Dealing with Wolferz all those years is probably what did it.
I don't care how many people he is, as long as they get the job done and I only have to write one paycheck.

Either that or I drank too many Bilge Water Ales.
I know a cure for that. $39.99 while supplies last!

[Sailor Steve]

Just for the record Doctor Steve, I've done nothing to Armistead that he hasn't already done to himself.:03:
Glad to hear it. Also glad to see someone not connected with this whole court-martial thing.

[Sailor Steve]

...but you will respect me in my role as Admiral Armistead.
Why? I've never done anything to deserve my respect. Why should he?

You.

Whatever.

[Sailor Steve]

I find all this court stuff silly and a waste of forum space

Armistead as Office Manager.
I find it a waste of my space, and wish it had stayed in the other forum.

[Sailor Steve]

Screw you!
Admiral Armistead
Hey! Nobody talks to my office manager that way but me!

Armistead! Throw yourself out! Now!

[donna52522]

Why? I've never done anything to deserve my respect. Why should he?

You.

Whatever.

You have to respect the rank, not the man.

[Armistead]

Hey! Nobody talks to my office manager that way but me!

Armistead! Throw yourself out! Now!

Throw me out or him out, which me do I throw out?

[Armistead]

You have to respect the rank, not the man.

You just like Admiral Armistead because of the uniform, we look the same naked.

Armistead
Office Manager.

[Sailor Steve]

You have to respect the rank, not the man.
So the less he bathes the more respect he gets?

He's already the rankest guy I know.

[Sailor Steve]

Throw me out or him out, which me do I throw out?
Yes. :yep:

[Sailor Steve]

You just like Admiral Armistead because of the uniform, we look the same naked.

Armistead
Office Manager.
Don't know. Don't wanna know. I can't speak for Donna, but I bet she doesn't wanna know either.

[Armistead]

Don't know. Don't wanna know. I can't speak for Donna, but I bet she doesn't wanna know either.


Trust me, she doesn't wanna know. I can hardly look at myself naked in the mirror these days.

[Mork_417]

Is this the part where someone turns their head and cough?

[fireftr18]

Is this the part where someone turns their head and cough?

I think it's more like the part where we all get prostate exams. :o

[frau kaleun]

http://dovebridge.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/rubberglovedr_3.jpg?w=490

[donna52522]

You just like Admiral Armistead because of the uniform, we look the same naked.

Armistead
Office Manager.

I didn't say anything about the uniform. I was talking about Rank. An officer is an officer whether they are in uniform or not and therefor should be respected for his/her rank.

Captain Dudley Morton used to walk around the USS Wahoo in his boxer shorts and a tee shirt.....but I bet his crew still addressed him as Captain. I think in the military you don't have to respect or even like the person, but you're supposed to respect the rank.

[Sailor Steve]

I didn't say anything about the uniform. I was talking about Rank. An officer is an officer whether they are in uniform or not and therefor should be respected for his/her rank.
This is true, but I'm guessing Armistead was referring to the old saw about women loving a man in uniform. :sunny:

[Armistead]

I didn't say anything about the uniform. I was talking about Rank. An officer is an officer whether they are in uniform or not and therefor should be respected for his/her rank.

Captain Dudley Morton used to walk around the USS Wahoo in his boxer shorts and a tee shirt.....but I bet his crew still addressed him as Captain. I think in the military you don't have to respect or even like the person, but you're supposed to respect the rank.

Yea, I like the story of the CO that got called to stations why in the shower. He came out and took the scope wearing a towel. When the scope went up, his towel fell off, leaving him totally naked, but all did their jobs and the attack went off with success. Actually think it was the CO of the Wahoo before Dudley, considered by O'Kane to be rather a coward.

Anyway Donna, thank you for respecting my fake rank as Admiral..:O:

[Wolferz]

I didn't say anything about the uniform. I was talking about Rank. An officer is an officer whether they are in uniform or not and therefor should be respected for his/her rank.

Captain Dudley Morton used to walk around the USS Wahoo in his boxer shorts and a tee shirt.....but I bet his crew still addressed him as Captain. I think in the military you don't have to respect or even like the person, but you're supposed to respect the rank.

Respect the rank? Not if it's worn by an imbecile!:down:

We NCO's did our best to train our officers. Saluting them when they had both hands full was especially fun to watch.:03: Or saluting with the left hand instead of the right.:haha:

[donna52522]

Respect the rank? Not if it's worn by an imbecile!:down:

We NCO's did our best to train our officers. Saluting them when they had both hands full was especially fun to watch.:03: Or saluting with the left hand instead of the right.:haha:


I said supposed to.....a lack of discipline on your part is a personal issue, and probably expected of you by those who know you. :rotfl2:

[Wolferz]

I said supposed to.....a lack of discipline on your part is a personal issue, and probably expected of you by those who know you. :rotfl2:

You bet your bippy baby.:03::D

[Armistead]

Respect the rank? Not if it's worn by an imbecile!:down:

:haha:

Is Wernher wearing my uniform again....

[Eichhörnchen]

http://i.imgur.com/hJvyh7e.jpg

"I spend a good deal of my time naked. I get no complaints"

[Catfish]

But you are not naked.
You are wearing an animal fur, shame on you :O:

[Oberon]

Dear Steve
Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

[Jimbuna]

http://i.imgur.com/uhWf1gr.jpg

[Eichhörnchen]

Yes, it could be another mouldy favourite with legs to stagger on for a good few miles :haha:

[Rhodes]

3 years since the last post in this thread???:o:o:o

[Torplexed]

3 years since the last post in this thread???:o:o:o

A squirrel never forgets a buried nut. :)

[Sailor Steve]

I was wondering why myself. It makes no sense. But then so little makes sense these days...

[Eichhörnchen]

It makes eminent sense, since it never made any sense in the first place, so as a piece of nonsense it's as valid now as it was then :)

So can you help me, Steve?

[Sailor Steve]

Well, since I'm beyond help myself, I don't see why not. :D

Or, in the words of the (very) old song:

I was born a hundred thousand years ago;
And there ain't a single thing that I don't know.
I've seen everything that's been
Around the world and back again
And I'll whup the man who says it isn't so! :O:

[Armistead]

memory lane, lol

Dear Steve,

Please solve this clue in some online game I'm in....thank you.

NOW FOR SOME MORE MATH! I'M GOING TO TELL YOU AN EQUATION. LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE ORDERS.... 19 + 5 - 22 - 1 + 18 = Where I'm Located

[Sailor Steve]

LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE ORDERS....
Do you want fries with that? :88)

[Armistead]

Do you want fries with that? :88)

yes, i'll eat fries while u figure the location, makes no damn sense to me or any others.......lmao

anyway, hope you're well my friend.

[Aktungbby]

Well, since I'm beyond help myself, I don't see why not. :D

Or, in the words of the (very) old song:

I was born a hundred thousand years ago;
And there ain't a single thing that I don't know.
I've seen everything that's been
Around the world and back again
And I'll whup the man who says it isn't so! :O: JEEZE!:har: I've reviewed the the thread (from before I came aboard) and wow what banter amongst compadres! Steve is actually waxing lyrical instead of 'abed in Utah' with pain, headaches, insomnia or 'running behind himself again'; Armistead is on the ground for a change... so nice thread revival EICH :rock: :salute:

[Eichhörnchen]

You're welcome, buddy (I'll see what else I can find) :)

[cdrsubron7]

Ya know, I've been feeling a little guilty about telling people who are first-timers to the Subsim Forums, "Welcome to our little insane asylum"

Well after reading this thread:

Not Any More!!! :salute: :rotfl2: :haha: :har:

[Eichhörnchen]

memory lane, lol

Dear Steve,

Please solve this clue in some online game I'm in....thank you.

NOW FOR SOME MORE MATH! I'M GOING TO TELL YOU AN EQUATION. LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE ORDERS.... 19 + 5 - 22 - 1 + 18 = Where I'm Located

Is there money at stake?

[Rockstar]

memory lane, lol

Dear Steve,

Please solve this clue in some online game I'm in....thank you.

NOW FOR SOME MORE MATH! I'M GOING TO TELL YOU AN EQUATION. LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE ORDERS.... 19 + 5 - 22 - 1 + 18 = Where I'm Located


You're right back where you started.

[Eichhörnchen]

That's what I got but it seemed too simple...

[Rockstar]

Yes, but we with our limited simple minds can only guess. The most wise sage of the order of the most salty dog, dear abby and the ancient mariner Steve has the one true answer.

[Eichhörnchen]

I'm sometimes disappointed, after sending an American pal a funny monkey picture, to have them say "That's actually a chimp" or "I think that's an orang-utan right there".

Is there not a tradition in US humour of deliberately referring to apes as monkeys as a comic device?

Can you please tell these guys I am allowed to call them all monkeys? (:D)

[Sailor Steve]

I'm sometimes disappointed, after sending an American pal a funny monkey picture, to have them say "That's actually a chimp" or "I think that's an orang-utan right there".

Is there not a tradition in US humour of deliberately referring to apes as monkeys as a comic device?

Can you please tell these guys I am allowed to call them all monkeys? (:D)
Funny sort of question coming from someone who thinks he's a tree-climbing rodent. But I digress (don't worry, I do that a lot).

Your first mistake is in thinking that Americans do humour. We don't. We have something called "humor", and despite the similarity they are not the same thing.

But here's a test you can perform yourself. Walk up to the Lord Of The Jungle (AKA King Of The Apes) and call him "Tarzan, the Monkey Man".

G'wan, I dare ya. In fact I double-dog-dare ya. Just wait until I can set up my ticket booth.

[Wolferz]

I just heard a Squirrelschplittenloudenboomer!:haha:

[Catfish]

^ was probably that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0&nohtml5=False

[Eichhörnchen]

That was perfect for this thread, Catfish, although deeply disturbing... :haha:

[Catfish]

That was perfect for this thread, Catfish, although deeply disturbing... :haha:

Mildly, if you're living here :smug:

[Onkel Neal]

^ was probably that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0&nohtml5=False

Haha, oh my :har:

[Commander Wallace]

^ was probably that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0&nohtml5=False


Where do you find this stuff ? :haha:

[GT182]

And a follow up to Catfish.....


When Will I See you Again. Think about it. Just close your eyes so you don't see the pretty ladies, and think only of your Shrink. IF you can. ;) LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGs0aDR8bhA&nohtml5=False