2014 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

Gut Wrench · 08-09-14, 06:09 PM

2014 Subsim Fantasy Football
...back in the grind.

Here we go again fans. It's early August and the vermin have begun to surface, knocking their family unconscious in elevators (too soon?

) as they squabble for 16 of the most frustrating and exciting fantasy football weeks we've had since...since December last year. Are you ready to make believe and go long for that imaginary team combination we've all dreamed about, that brings a minimum 140 points each week in the hopes of a win?

It's the 2014 Subsim Fantasy Football competition, where we find out just how good Mister Chris and the London Based Helmand Nighthawks are. Our defending champions, and first champion to remove the Holy Grail from the Land of the Free (since Australia II...but that was sailing) they'll be out to show that their dominating performance in last years play offs, wasn't just a fluke. And we'll be there every game of every week, especially those nasty last two minutes of the Monday night game which forces an entire rewrite of this column. But, we do it not for glory, but for fantasy.

OK, we might do it for a little glory, and even though the season hasn't started, nothing has been written in eight months, and some of the coaches don't even know about this column, I'm going to ask you to do the most important two things you can do today.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Back to the real game.

We'll start with what we know.

Everyone loves to knock off the defending champion, and before we know the results of the draft, we do know that a debutant to the league, will be playing in London in Week 1. Taking the most original name of Micheal's Team, Coach Michael (who'd have thought it) is one of two newcomers to the league, the other being Coach Wolferz of the Bilge Rats.

Apparently there was a sale at Wamart on matching uniforms for aside from the two newcomers, the returning rookie runner up from last year, the Who Dat Nation and the ReallyDedPoets have all purchase the same uniform helmets of gold with a black star.

Commissioner McBee has not yet made public the location of this years draft, but word has it that there was a considerable exchange of favors for the league to have their draft at "the secret location". The Associates Subsim Writers (ASW) have learned of this location are making the necessary bookings for their berths. Stay turned for more information as Draft Day, August 31, approaches, and teams settle in for the grind to the Torpedo Bowl and to be Champion.

Gut Wrench · 08-24-14, 11:26 AM

Draft Location Announced
Commissioner Takes To High Seas

Commissioner McBee has outdone himself this year, taking the forthcoming draft to lofty new heights, and onto the High Seas. The location of the 2014 Draft has been announced as a three day cruise of the SS BigAzzShip out of Venice.

The SS BigAzzShip, partly owned by Commissioner McBee's offshore company, Tax Evasion Inc., has been hired for the event to run a three day cruise during the middle of the European Summer.

"We felt that with the Nighthawks being champions, it was appropriate that the Subsim Fantasy League take advantage of those European women," McBee said at a press conference.

The Commissioner stated that around 200 of the leagues best players will be invited to attend the draft function, and stay on board the ship. To accommodate their needs, round 2000 European women from various cities have been "recruited" to assist with the operation of the event.

Commissioner McBee stated that "this was a a unique opportunity for potential Subsim League players to have one final fling before getting down to the business of the most important sixteen weeks of the year.

Draft Day for the Subsim Fantasy Football League is a week away, scheduled for 1200 Sunday 31 August 2104.

ReallyDedPoet · 08-27-14, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gut Wrench

Apparently there was a sale at Wamart on matching uniforms for aside from the two newcomers, the returning rookie runner up from last year, the Who Dat Nation and the ReallyDedPoets have all purchase the same uniform helmets of gold with a black star.

Little DedPoet ( he's 16 ) will be taking the reins this year, though under the close guidance of his dad. Well as much as a dad can over a teenager

And I have changed the above

nikimcbee · 08-31-14, 01:32 PM

tick,tick,tick,tick...

nikimcbee · 08-31-14, 01:44 PM

I've been having problems with yahoo's server cutting in and out and connecting to the server. This better not crap out on me. If you have problems, just reconnect.

ReallyDedPoet · 08-31-14, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

I've been having problems with yahoo's server cutting in and out and connecting to the server. This better not crap out on me. If you have problems, just reconnect.

So I am at the site now, the main page. I just stay there until the thing starts right.

ReallyDedPoet · 08-31-14, 01:47 PM

As Mini-RDP is golfing I will be doing his picks for him, not sure if he will be ok with that

nikimcbee · 08-31-14, 01:49 PM

Everything seems to bee working (on my end)

ReallyDedPoet · 08-31-14, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

Everything seems to bee working (on my end)

Hey, how did you get the first pic

nikimcbee · 08-31-14, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReallyDedPoet

Hey, how did you get the first pic

Yahoo loves me this year I guess. I nearly fell our of my chair when I saw that. (it's all random btw

)

ReallyDedPoet · 08-31-14, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikimcbee

Yahoo loves me this year I guess. I nearly fell our of my chair when I saw that. (it's all random btw

)

Yeah I know, you have been doing this how many years, was this your first time with the #1?

By the way my son is already giving me the gears over the team I picked for him

mr chris · 08-31-14, 05:39 PM

You picked up Sanders, i was sat their hoping he was going to fall too me but you snagged him a couple of picks before. Alas i will make do Edleman. Good luck to everyone.

ReallyDedPoet · 08-31-14, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr chris

You picked up Sanders, i was sat their hoping he was going to fall too me but you snagged him a couple of picks before. Alas i will make do Edleman. Good luck to everyone.

Isn't that always the way, I had my eye on more than a few players only to see them taken

Good luck, should be a great season folks

Gut Wrench · 08-31-14, 11:24 PM

Draft Results In
Coach Wolfer Gets an A

Commissioner McBee has outdone himself for the second time this year, somehow manging to secure the first pick of the draft.

"Yeah, really, ummm, that was a surprise," he said after the draft as the news media hounded him for a response. But, as usual, the Associated Subsim Writers were there for the first commentary.

Unlike about half of the league coaches who missed the boat after a wild night of drinking in Venice.

"Ohhhh, I thought the ship would wait for me," Coach FYC of the Black Cats said as the SS BigAzzShip left the dock.

So let's quickly recap the draft and the first reports from the floor.

Defending title holder, Mister Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks are predicted to finish the season in fourth.

"Fourth?" cried Mister Chris. "Bollocks."

Expansion team Wolfer's Bilge Rats have been appraised as having the best draft, however, the ASW predictions is that they will only finish second. The biggest surprise of the draft was that last years upstart Rookie, Fuel for Blood, and the Who Dat Nation are predicted to win the season - even after they too did not show for the draft.

"Argg, who needs to show up when you can draft by carrier pigeon and still enjoy some land loving wenches" Fuel for Blood was heard to say from the Pirates Shack Bar and House of Ill Repute.

At the other end of the spectrum, another expansion team, the Mini Ded Poets Team scored the lowest possible grade.

"We were robbed," Mini Coach Ded was hurl to say, spitting out a dummy. "If Dad had freaking bothered to pick me, like he said he would, I wouldn't be in this spot."

Looks like an awesome forthcoming match up with bragging rights when both the Ded Poet family members meet later in the season.

However, draft's mean nothing, and it's the real game of pretend football that matters, with 16 of the most frustrating weeks scheduled to start in four days. Who will be there in late December to claim the championship, no one knows. The only sure thing is that right now, all teams are tied...and that the two Monday night games will no doubt cause the first rewrite of the year.

For the Associated Subsim Writers, this is Gut Wrench welcoming you, to the Subsim Fantasy Football League.

Gut Wrench · 09-09-14, 12:33 AM

Rising From The Bilge
Rats Gnaw Doggies

Week 1 in the Subsim Fantasy League, and do we have a debut for you. We'll tell you about one of the biggest eye openers since....well since Fantasy Football started. We'll catch up on a thriller, a thriller than could have been, and we'll see how the two newest team did against the foreign imports, as we go around the globe under the light of the silvery "supermoon".

But before we do anything else, let's give you the two most important messages that you need to know about.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Out with the commercials, dim the moon light and on with the highlights.

There are two new teams playing in this years Subsim Fantasy League, and in the first week, each of the new teams had opposing results. Let's start with the Mini Ded Poets, who crossed the Pacific Ocean to play the Australian Taipans. Jet lag much have affected the Mini's player choice because they played not only Jason Witten (TE) and Dan Bailey (K), but they ran on the 49ers (DEF) The 49ers were no slouch though as they high scored for the Mini Dead's with 20 points. On the other side of the paddock, the Taipans started an interesting pair of RB's in Matt Forte and Chris Johnson doing most of the work in the ground and pound. The Taipans send the Mini Dead's home packing with a steady serving, running out eventual winners 102 - 81.

Proving that running the opposition against your defense doesn't always doom you to a loss, last years surprise upstart to the league showed that you can in fact start Adam Vintieri (K) and the Bronco's (DEF) on the same team.

Coach Fuel for Blood after the game said "Yeah, our game plan tonight was not to score a lot of kicking points, and let our defense do the work."

The Who Dat Nation were certainly helped when the Green Beans started Cam Newton, ruled out two days prior to the start of the game with a bruised ego. Despite this, the Beans still managed to utilize Calvin (Megatron) Johnson for two touchdowns and 164 yards. (Who was throwing to him? C'mon Man.) The gap was way too much for the Beans, even when Michael Floyd (WR) scores 16 points on Monday night, as they fall to the Who Dat Nation 113 - 101.

Going across the other ocean, the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Helmand Nighthawks started the season at Wembley hosting Michael's Team. The second of three new comers to the league, this Atlantic Crossing was no Rod Stewart as the Nighthawks put a licking on Michael. Despite the valiant effort of QB Matt Ryan scoring 32.21. points, the Nighthawks just played their consistent steady brand of football that lead them to the championship. This game could have been a thriller on Monday night if only Keenan Allen (WR) of Michael's team showed up. Final score, Nighthawks 117 defeat Michael 101.

The biggest upset of the week was the match up between the Wild Boston Terriers and the Bilge Rats. The Terriers, a Commissioner franchise team, after grabbing first pick of the draft, also had the first game of the week. The Doggies, playing at home lead by Russell Wilson, came out strong and began putting up some impressive points before the Rats even got started. But when they got started, start they did and they piled it on. Every player on the Rats team scored double digit points, lead by their QB Matthew Stafford.

"Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week," Stafford said after the game.

After taking the Associate Subsim Writers A+ draft rating, the Rats have come out and on the Terrier's home turf, put up 155 points, one of the highest scored seen in the game. The Terriers were sent to the 0-1 doghouse as the Rats cleaned up 159 - 107.

The thriller of the week belongs to the match up between the Black Cats and the Guns of Hochuli. Two powerhouse teams of past, who both decided that on draft day they had better things to do. In week one they were matched against other. Last year the Cats fielded perhaps the best team on paper, but when it came down to the end, just didn't have enough purr in the tank. Despite being heavily favored in Las Vegas, the ding dong game between the Cats and the Gunners swung with each play. Back and forth they traded the lead seven times through Sunday morning, and by the time they got to Monday night, the game was so close that one pass could decide the game. The Gunners started Larry Fitzgerlad (WR) and frankly, Fitzgerald did not look like he wanted to play. Larry only need one catch to give the Gunners the lead and the win, and we had to wait until 4 minutes before the end of the weekend to get his catch. Final Score, they barely squeak by in one of the historically closest matches ever, Gunners 102.24 defeat the Black Cats 101.58, a margin of .66

So after week one, let's look at where the teams stand.

Half the teams in the league won, the other half lost.

What it does mean is that in week 2, we get to pick and choose the best games to focus on. We pick the defending champions return to the Colony as the Black Cats get to host their first home game of the season after suffering a narrow defeat in week one.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of 7 receptions for 104 yards and 3 receiving TD's, for a total of 35.20 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Julius Thomas of the Bilge Rats the Week One MVT.

08-31-14, 01:32 PM	#4
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	tick,tick,tick,tick... __________________

08-31-14, 01:44 PM	#5
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	I've been having problems with yahoo's server cutting in and out and connecting to the server. This better not crap out on me. If you have problems, just reconnect. __________________

08-31-14, 01:47 PM	#7
ReallyDedPoet Canadian Wolf Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada. The one and only, East Coast Posts: 10,884 Downloads: 946 Uploads: 5	As Mini-RDP is golfing I will be doing his picks for him, not sure if he will be ok with that __________________ Back in the Day

08-31-14, 01:49 PM	#8
nikimcbee Fleet Admiral Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Patroling the Slot. Posts: 17,952 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	Everything seems to bee working (on my end) __________________

08-31-14, 05:39 PM	#12
mr chris Silent Hunter Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Herefordshire, England Posts: 3,562 Downloads: 216 Uploads: 0	You picked up Sanders, i was sat their hoping he was going to fall too me but you snagged him a couple of picks before. Alas i will make do Edleman. Good luck to everyone. __________________

08-09-14, 06:09 PM	#1
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	2014 Subsim Fantasy Football Reports 2014 Subsim Fantasy Football ...back in the grind. Here we go again fans. It's early August and the vermin have begun to surface, knocking their family unconscious in elevators (too soon? ) as they squabble for 16 of the most frustrating and exciting fantasy football weeks we've had since...since December last year. Are you ready to make believe and go long for that imaginary team combination we've all dreamed about, that brings a minimum 140 points each week in the hopes of a win? It's the 2014 Subsim Fantasy Football competition, where we find out just how good Mister Chris and the London Based Helmand Nighthawks are. Our defending champions, and first champion to remove the Holy Grail from the Land of the Free (since Australia II...but that was sailing) they'll be out to show that their dominating performance in last years play offs, wasn't just a fluke. And we'll be there every game of every week, especially those nasty last two minutes of the Monday night game which forces an entire rewrite of this column. But, we do it not for glory, but for fantasy. OK, we might do it for a little glory, and even though the season hasn't started, nothing has been written in eight months, and some of the coaches don't even know about this column, I'm going to ask you to do the most important two things you can do today. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. Back to the real game. We'll start with what we know. Everyone loves to knock off the defending champion, and before we know the results of the draft, we do know that a debutant to the league, will be playing in London in Week 1. Taking the most original name of Micheal's Team, Coach Michael (who'd have thought it) is one of two newcomers to the league, the other being Coach Wolferz of the Bilge Rats. Apparently there was a sale at Wamart on matching uniforms for aside from the two newcomers, the returning rookie runner up from last year, the Who Dat Nation and the ReallyDedPoets have all purchase the same uniform helmets of gold with a black star. Commissioner McBee has not yet made public the location of this years draft, but word has it that there was a considerable exchange of favors for the league to have their draft at "the secret location". The Associates Subsim Writers (ASW) have learned of this location are making the necessary bookings for their berths. Stay turned for more information as Draft Day, August 31, approaches, and teams settle in for the grind to the Torpedo Bowl and to be Champion.

08-24-14, 11:26 AM	#2
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Draft Location Announced Commissioner Takes To High Seas Commissioner McBee has outdone himself this year, taking the forthcoming draft to lofty new heights, and onto the High Seas. The location of the 2014 Draft has been announced as a three day cruise of the SS BigAzzShip out of Venice. The SS BigAzzShip, partly owned by Commissioner McBee's offshore company, Tax Evasion Inc., has been hired for the event to run a three day cruise during the middle of the European Summer. "We felt that with the Nighthawks being champions, it was appropriate that the Subsim Fantasy League take advantage of those European women," McBee said at a press conference. The Commissioner stated that around 200 of the leagues best players will be invited to attend the draft function, and stay on board the ship. To accommodate their needs, round 2000 European women from various cities have been "recruited" to assist with the operation of the event. Commissioner McBee stated that "this was a a unique opportunity for potential Subsim League players to have one final fling before getting down to the business of the most important sixteen weeks of the year. Draft Day for the Subsim Fantasy Football League is a week away, scheduled for 1200 Sunday 31 August 2104.

08-31-14, 11:24 PM	#14
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Draft Results In Coach Wolfer Gets an A Commissioner McBee has outdone himself for the second time this year, somehow manging to secure the first pick of the draft. "Yeah, really, ummm, that was a surprise," he said after the draft as the news media hounded him for a response. But, as usual, the Associated Subsim Writers were there for the first commentary. Unlike about half of the league coaches who missed the boat after a wild night of drinking in Venice. "Ohhhh, I thought the ship would wait for me," Coach FYC of the Black Cats said as the SS BigAzzShip left the dock. So let's quickly recap the draft and the first reports from the floor. Defending title holder, Mister Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks are predicted to finish the season in fourth. "Fourth?" cried Mister Chris. "Bollocks." Expansion team Wolfer's Bilge Rats have been appraised as having the best draft, however, the ASW predictions is that they will only finish second. The biggest surprise of the draft was that last years upstart Rookie, Fuel for Blood, and the Who Dat Nation are predicted to win the season - even after they too did not show for the draft. "Argg, who needs to show up when you can draft by carrier pigeon and still enjoy some land loving wenches" Fuel for Blood was heard to say from the Pirates Shack Bar and House of Ill Repute. At the other end of the spectrum, another expansion team, the Mini Ded Poets Team scored the lowest possible grade. "We were robbed," Mini Coach Ded was hurl to say, spitting out a dummy. "If Dad had freaking bothered to pick me, like he said he would, I wouldn't be in this spot." Looks like an awesome forthcoming match up with bragging rights when both the Ded Poet family members meet later in the season. However, draft's mean nothing, and it's the real game of pretend football that matters, with 16 of the most frustrating weeks scheduled to start in four days. Who will be there in late December to claim the championship, no one knows. The only sure thing is that right now, all teams are tied...and that the two Monday night games will no doubt cause the first rewrite of the year. For the Associated Subsim Writers, this is Gut Wrench welcoming you, to the Subsim Fantasy Football League.

09-09-14, 12:33 AM	#15
Gut Wrench Watch Officer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 342 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Rising From The Bilge Rats Gnaw Doggies Week 1 in the Subsim Fantasy League, and do we have a debut for you. We'll tell you about one of the biggest eye openers since....well since Fantasy Football started. We'll catch up on a thriller, a thriller than could have been, and we'll see how the two newest team did against the foreign imports, as we go around the globe under the light of the silvery "supermoon". But before we do anything else, let's give you the two most important messages that you need to know about. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. Out with the commercials, dim the moon light and on with the highlights. There are two new teams playing in this years Subsim Fantasy League, and in the first week, each of the new teams had opposing results. Let's start with the Mini Ded Poets, who crossed the Pacific Ocean to play the Australian Taipans. Jet lag much have affected the Mini's player choice because they played not only Jason Witten (TE) and Dan Bailey (K), but they ran on the 49ers (DEF) The 49ers were no slouch though as they high scored for the Mini Dead's with 20 points. On the other side of the paddock, the Taipans started an interesting pair of RB's in Matt Forte and Chris Johnson doing most of the work in the ground and pound. The Taipans send the Mini Dead's home packing with a steady serving, running out eventual winners 102 - 81. Proving that running the opposition against your defense doesn't always doom you to a loss, last years surprise upstart to the league showed that you can in fact start Adam Vintieri (K) and the Bronco's (DEF) on the same team. Coach Fuel for Blood after the game said "Yeah, our game plan tonight was not to score a lot of kicking points, and let our defense do the work." The Who Dat Nation were certainly helped when the Green Beans started Cam Newton, ruled out two days prior to the start of the game with a bruised ego. Despite this, the Beans still managed to utilize Calvin (Megatron) Johnson for two touchdowns and 164 yards. (Who was throwing to him? C'mon Man.) The gap was way too much for the Beans, even when Michael Floyd (WR) scores 16 points on Monday night, as they fall to the Who Dat Nation 113 - 101. Going across the other ocean, the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Helmand Nighthawks started the season at Wembley hosting Michael's Team. The second of three new comers to the league, this Atlantic Crossing was no Rod Stewart as the Nighthawks put a licking on Michael. Despite the valiant effort of QB Matt Ryan scoring 32.21. points, the Nighthawks just played their consistent steady brand of football that lead them to the championship. This game could have been a thriller on Monday night if only Keenan Allen (WR) of Michael's team showed up. Final score, Nighthawks 117 defeat Michael 101. The biggest upset of the week was the match up between the Wild Boston Terriers and the Bilge Rats. The Terriers, a Commissioner franchise team, after grabbing first pick of the draft, also had the first game of the week. The Doggies, playing at home lead by Russell Wilson, came out strong and began putting up some impressive points before the Rats even got started. But when they got started, start they did and they piled it on. Every player on the Rats team scored double digit points, lead by their QB Matthew Stafford. "Yeah, we played hard, knowing how important this game was. We played it hard and we're grateful just to come away with the win and look forward to next week," Stafford said after the game. After taking the Associate Subsim Writers A+ draft rating, the Rats have come out and on the Terrier's home turf, put up 155 points, one of the highest scored seen in the game. The Terriers were sent to the 0-1 doghouse as the Rats cleaned up 159 - 107. The thriller of the week belongs to the match up between the Black Cats and the Guns of Hochuli. Two powerhouse teams of past, who both decided that on draft day they had better things to do. In week one they were matched against other. Last year the Cats fielded perhaps the best team on paper, but when it came down to the end, just didn't have enough purr in the tank. Despite being heavily favored in Las Vegas, the ding dong game between the Cats and the Gunners swung with each play. Back and forth they traded the lead seven times through Sunday morning, and by the time they got to Monday night, the game was so close that one pass could decide the game. The Gunners started Larry Fitzgerlad (WR) and frankly, Fitzgerald did not look like he wanted to play. Larry only need one catch to give the Gunners the lead and the win, and we had to wait until 4 minutes before the end of the weekend to get his catch. Final Score, they barely squeak by in one of the historically closest matches ever, Gunners 102.24 defeat the Black Cats 101.58, a margin of .66 So after week one, let's look at where the teams stand. Half the teams in the league won, the other half lost. What it does mean is that in week 2, we get to pick and choose the best games to focus on. We pick the defending champions return to the Colony as the Black Cats get to host their first home game of the season after suffering a narrow defeat in week one. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. For the effort of 7 receptions for 104 yards and 3 receiving TD's, for a total of 35.20 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Julius Thomas of the Bilge Rats the Week One MVT.