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07-24-21, 05:52 AM | #3136 |
Fleet Admiral
|
I received a letter from the IRS telling me that my tax return was outstanding
While I appreciated the complement, to be honest, I can't remember even sending my return to the IRS this year.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-24-21, 11:02 AM | #3137 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Awesome movie, what disturbed me a little though was my wife constantly taking notes.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-25-21, 05:10 AM | #3138 |
Fleet Admiral
|
I got into a bit of trouble
I was in the elevator when this "well endowed" lady came in. My attention was ... focused. Then she said "Please press one".......
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-25-21, 12:23 PM | #3139 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Girlfriend and boyfriend are strolling through the city of Paris. Suddenly he sees a shooting star.
Boyfriend: “Look, a shooting star! Make a wish!” Girlfriend: “I want to marry you!” Boyfriend: “Huh, maybe it was just lightning.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-26-21, 10:10 AM | #3140 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert?
"Yes, the red wire."
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-27-21, 11:48 AM | #3141 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Doctor: “You look much worse than you did last week! I said you should smoke a maximum of five cigarettes a day!”
Patient: “And that’s what I did. And it wasn’t easy because up until now I didn’t smoke at all!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-28-21, 08:49 AM | #3142 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?
First of all, don't give him anything to drink.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-29-21, 09:29 AM | #3143 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-30-21, 09:23 AM | #3144 |
Chief of the Boat
|
What is black and sticks to a tree?
A peeping tom after a forest fire.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-30-21, 09:45 PM | #3145 |
Navy Seal
|
I walked in the front door and my wife asked why I came home half drunk. I replied, I ran out of money.
When I read of the terrible dangers associated with excessive drinking, I gave up reading. |
07-31-21, 04:50 AM | #3146 |
Chief of the Boat
|
One man's trash is another man's treasure...
(Maybe this wasn’t the ideal way of telling our daughter that she was adopted…)
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-31-21, 04:57 AM | #3147 |
Chief of the Boat
|
“Do you have Valentines cards that say something like “You’re my only one?”
Sure thing. Wonderful! I’ll take 8 of those please.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-01-21, 09:37 AM | #3148 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with Lucifer himself on how to be even more vicious. I’ve no idea what kind of fees she’s charging him.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-02-21, 07:30 AM | #3149 |
Chief of the Boat
|
A mom tells her son a joke; the son is embarrassed and says: "Mom, please don't tell any more jokes. You really can't make them."
The mom only shrugs and says, "Well – I did make you..."
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-02-21, 05:03 PM | #3150 |
Fleet Admiral
|
If you really think about it
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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