Subsim Fantasy Football Reports

Gut Wrench · 08-30-09, 08:56 PM

Two weeks ago I'd been lying in wake in the depth of the Atlantic, embedded with the Kreigsmarine during what they called "the happy times". A codded message had come through and I'd been left behind at a milchcow, to be picked up by army transport. For a week I criss crossed oceans and frontlines, slowly making my way to the America seaboard, and then, inland to Las Vegas.

The assignment: cover a new outbreak of the submarine war. I had to check my atlas first, but sure enough, my informants were correct, the Nevada desert was about to erupt, before it would spread across the nation and international borders, to become an intense 16 week fight for some, while others would have to slog it out until late January.

The Subsimmers were coming, and had moved into the fantasy football league.

Commissioner McBee had bought out the Las Vegas MGM Grand for the draft, and spared no expense at accommodating the new arrivals. There was some concern that the valets may not be able to park the Type VII's, but Donald Trump was able to secure nearby parking at no cost to the League.

I arrived the night before, and the League saw to it that all the media were treated like kings. Roman Kings, the girls from Ceasers more then happy to join a few of the celebrities in a late night toga party. In the morning though, it was all business, as the 16 team owners arrived, with their accompanying entourage, staked their place at reserved tables, an open bar tab, and the draft being carried live on Subsim TV.

In true dynamic fashion, the opening was resplendent, including a fly over by the Thunderbirds. The indoor pyrotechnic show went off, and from the showering flames, emerged the Commissioner to a standing ovation.

A mix up in press credentials had me sitting beside Pat Summerall and John Madden, doing the special broadcast for SubSim TV. The opportunity was too great to resist, and when I asked John, he said "the bus was late getting in, but there was no way I would miss this draft." Later in the broadcast, he began drawing circles on the TV, so they cut to a commercial.

Behind the owners at their tables, sat the many former, current, and upcoming stars of the NFL. Even the prison team had their own table, with everyone in a three piece orange suite, with Michael Vick honorary Captain of the team that included Plexico Burress.

After the formalities, the Commissioner moved aside and retired to his table complete with the finalists from Miss Boston Terrier. And suddenly, we were down to business.

There were no surprises with the first few drafts, the purple Jesus Adrian Peterson, Maurice Two Dads, and Larry Fitzgerald going early. LT was drafted by one of the international teams, but otherwise, the opening round went by the numbers.

The second round was a mixed bag, with WR and RB being traded among the first QB pick of Drew Brees. Following the obligatory "Go Daddy" wet tshirt competition, it was late in round 4 before the surprises begun. The value of a TE rose to match QB status, and from the second level of the car park, you could hear the howls of glee as the Detroit Lions defensive team were picked. (Their table had been moved out there to make way for extra vacant space on the draft floor.)

Strategists and owners conversed as each player was selected, amid the occasional "Oh crap" and "Damm, I was just going to pick him." Surprisingly, one owner even quiped that there was no way he would draft anyone from Satan's Team, not two minutes before selecting a Cowboy.

Jason Elam was the first kicker selected, as the bench players started to saddle up, collecting their new uniforms, and be paraded for photographers. Not many left the draft early, and some of the players stayed on afterward in attempts to increase their value.

At the end of the day, the largest SubSim League Draft ever was over, and the owners returned to their respective rooms, accompanied by Hooters, Go Daddy and other "wannabe seen with you" girls entourage, to plot out, the forthcoming 16 week war.

For the SubSim network, Gut Wrench, Las Vegas, Nevada.

FIREWALL · 08-30-09, 09:17 PM

Gut Wrench · 09-06-09, 04:34 PM

The pre season frilly dates are over, and it's down to business. The real games are about to begin.

But hold the phone, let's not assume that the "silly season" is restricted just to the month of December. Owner of the "The Ded Poets" was slow awakening this morning to the news that on both sides of the line of scrimmage, he's lost two keys members of his team. Back Up QB for the Poets - Jeff Garcia, in perhaps the ultimate symbol of "career over" has been cut by his feeder team, the Raiders. A little further south his defence may also be in trouble, this time with the law as Shaun Merriman is arrested overnight in a domestic dispute.

The arrest of Merriman adds substance to next week's Match of the Day, when last years Subsim Bowl winner, the Dragons host the Ded Poets.

Chad · 09-06-09, 06:12 PM

Well done Gut Wrench. I was in the chatroom, as the Green Beans are going all the way this year

Gut Wrench · 09-09-09, 10:37 PM

COMMISIONER McBEE END PLAYERS STRIKE.
"I don't care who they are, get out there and play football."

Commissioner McBee has put his beer down and forced the last three "hold outs" of the Subsim League to "surface" and put their players forward for the first round of the year.

At a televised conference, Commissioner McBee (surrounded by a bevy of Miss Universe contestants who didn't make the final round) delivered an awe inspiring speach.

"I don't care who they are" he shouted in the microphone, slamming his beer down but not spilling a drop. "Get out there and play football."

The Commissioners' action brings all four divisions of the Subsim League into focus, and betting at the Subsim Gaming Lounge reflected this.

Pit Boss Cowboy Neal reported that a lot of money has been placed on the Dragons to win the Old Schooners Division, and to take the Title. The Surface Skimmers Division looks to be a two horse race between the Mudville 9 and the Helmand Nighthawks pending injuries. Most of the money has been wagered in the Norris Division, where all four franchises are heavily backed. The Sub Simmers Division hasn't seen a lot of money, most punters waiting to see how the foreign based teams tackle the arduous traveling schedule.

With all 16 teams now finalized for Week One, Subsim Scheduling sees the Match of the Day to be Show Me Your TD's, lead by Ben "You'll Not Get My Apology" Roethlisburger at home to the Miners, with starting QB Tony "Who's Jessica" Romo.

mr chris · 09-10-09, 12:26 PM

Great stuff Gut Wrench

I wonder if the Commissioner can get the legend that is Chuck to present the trophy to the winner of the Norris division at the end of the season.

Gut Wrench · 09-15-09, 12:47 AM

SHOOT OUT IN WEEK ONE.
"Who invited these guys" snarls 0-1 owner.

It took five days, a shoot out in both Massachusetts and Oakland, but finally, we have a better picture after Week One of just how cruel the draft can be.

The defending Subsim Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Dragons, with QB Phillip Rivers and WR Larry Fitzgerald, failed to live up to their first and second round draft picks, falling short in their first game.

Owner RickC was heard to say "It's week one and you're crazy if you think we're out of it already" he mused, pushing aside the paparazzi upon leaving the Monday Night game.

It was big scores across the league with the high scoring games of the Mudville Nine at the BP Badasses combining for over 201 points.

The week was not without it's surprises however. In the significantly stronger Norris Division, all the local teams sustained a loss, handing the Dead Poets, the division lead. The Dead Poets are one of three international teams, the other teams of Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans also scoring wins in week one. All three international teams host their first home game next week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In week one, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for his performance of 6 passing touchdowns and 358 passing yards, QB Drew Brees of the Green Beans, the Week One MVT.

08-30-09, 08:56 PM	#1
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Subsim Fantasy Football Reports Two weeks ago I'd been lying in wake in the depth of the Atlantic, embedded with the Kreigsmarine during what they called "the happy times". A codded message had come through and I'd been left behind at a milchcow, to be picked up by army transport. For a week I criss crossed oceans and frontlines, slowly making my way to the America seaboard, and then, inland to Las Vegas. The assignment: cover a new outbreak of the submarine war. I had to check my atlas first, but sure enough, my informants were correct, the Nevada desert was about to erupt, before it would spread across the nation and international borders, to become an intense 16 week fight for some, while others would have to slog it out until late January. The Subsimmers were coming, and had moved into the fantasy football league. Commissioner McBee had bought out the Las Vegas MGM Grand for the draft, and spared no expense at accommodating the new arrivals. There was some concern that the valets may not be able to park the Type VII's, but Donald Trump was able to secure nearby parking at no cost to the League. I arrived the night before, and the League saw to it that all the media were treated like kings. Roman Kings, the girls from Ceasers more then happy to join a few of the celebrities in a late night toga party. In the morning though, it was all business, as the 16 team owners arrived, with their accompanying entourage, staked their place at reserved tables, an open bar tab, and the draft being carried live on Subsim TV. In true dynamic fashion, the opening was resplendent, including a fly over by the Thunderbirds. The indoor pyrotechnic show went off, and from the showering flames, emerged the Commissioner to a standing ovation. A mix up in press credentials had me sitting beside Pat Summerall and John Madden, doing the special broadcast for SubSim TV. The opportunity was too great to resist, and when I asked John, he said "the bus was late getting in, but there was no way I would miss this draft." Later in the broadcast, he began drawing circles on the TV, so they cut to a commercial. Behind the owners at their tables, sat the many former, current, and upcoming stars of the NFL. Even the prison team had their own table, with everyone in a three piece orange suite, with Michael Vick honorary Captain of the team that included Plexico Burress. After the formalities, the Commissioner moved aside and retired to his table complete with the finalists from Miss Boston Terrier. And suddenly, we were down to business. There were no surprises with the first few drafts, the purple Jesus Adrian Peterson, Maurice Two Dads, and Larry Fitzgerald going early. LT was drafted by one of the international teams, but otherwise, the opening round went by the numbers. The second round was a mixed bag, with WR and RB being traded among the first QB pick of Drew Brees. Following the obligatory "Go Daddy" wet tshirt competition, it was late in round 4 before the surprises begun. The value of a TE rose to match QB status, and from the second level of the car park, you could hear the howls of glee as the Detroit Lions defensive team were picked. (Their table had been moved out there to make way for extra vacant space on the draft floor.) Strategists and owners conversed as each player was selected, amid the occasional "Oh crap" and "Damm, I was just going to pick him." Surprisingly, one owner even quiped that there was no way he would draft anyone from Satan's Team, not two minutes before selecting a Cowboy. Jason Elam was the first kicker selected, as the bench players started to saddle up, collecting their new uniforms, and be paraded for photographers. Not many left the draft early, and some of the players stayed on afterward in attempts to increase their value. At the end of the day, the largest SubSim League Draft ever was over, and the owners returned to their respective rooms, accompanied by Hooters, Go Daddy and other "wannabe seen with you" girls entourage, to plot out, the forthcoming 16 week war. For the SubSim network, Gut Wrench, Las Vegas, Nevada.

08-30-09, 09:17 PM	#2
FIREWALL Eternal Patrol Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: CATALINA IS. SO . CAL USA Posts: 10,108 Downloads: 511 Uploads: 0	__________________ RIP FIREWALL I Play GWX. Silent Hunter Who ???

09-06-09, 06:12 PM	#4
Chad ACE Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Kansas City Posts: 1,274 Downloads: 60 Uploads: 0	Well done Gut Wrench. I was in the chatroom, as the Green Beans are going all the way this year __________________

09-10-09, 12:26 PM	#6
mr chris Silent Hunter Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Herefordshire, England Posts: 3,562 Downloads: 216 Uploads: 0	Great stuff Gut Wrench I wonder if the Commissioner can get the legend that is Chuck to present the trophy to the winner of the Norris division at the end of the season. __________________

09-06-09, 04:34 PM	#3
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	The pre season frilly dates are over, and it's down to business. The real games are about to begin. But hold the phone, let's not assume that the "silly season" is restricted just to the month of December. Owner of the "The Ded Poets" was slow awakening this morning to the news that on both sides of the line of scrimmage, he's lost two keys members of his team. Back Up QB for the Poets - Jeff Garcia, in perhaps the ultimate symbol of "career over" has been cut by his feeder team, the Raiders. A little further south his defence may also be in trouble, this time with the law as Shaun Merriman is arrested overnight in a domestic dispute. The arrest of Merriman adds substance to next week's Match of the Day, when last years Subsim Bowl winner, the Dragons host the Ded Poets.

09-09-09, 10:37 PM	#5
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	COMMISIONER McBEE END PLAYERS STRIKE. "I don't care who they are, get out there and play football." Commissioner McBee has put his beer down and forced the last three "hold outs" of the Subsim League to "surface" and put their players forward for the first round of the year. At a televised conference, Commissioner McBee (surrounded by a bevy of Miss Universe contestants who didn't make the final round) delivered an awe inspiring speach. "I don't care who they are" he shouted in the microphone, slamming his beer down but not spilling a drop. "Get out there and play football." The Commissioners' action brings all four divisions of the Subsim League into focus, and betting at the Subsim Gaming Lounge reflected this. Pit Boss Cowboy Neal reported that a lot of money has been placed on the Dragons to win the Old Schooners Division, and to take the Title. The Surface Skimmers Division looks to be a two horse race between the Mudville 9 and the Helmand Nighthawks pending injuries. Most of the money has been wagered in the Norris Division, where all four franchises are heavily backed. The Sub Simmers Division hasn't seen a lot of money, most punters waiting to see how the foreign based teams tackle the arduous traveling schedule. With all 16 teams now finalized for Week One, Subsim Scheduling sees the Match of the Day to be Show Me Your TD's, lead by Ben "You'll Not Get My Apology" Roethlisburger at home to the Miners, with starting QB Tony "Who's Jessica" Romo.

09-15-09, 12:47 AM	#7
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	SHOOT OUT IN WEEK ONE. "Who invited these guys" snarls 0-1 owner. It took five days, a shoot out in both Massachusetts and Oakland, but finally, we have a better picture after Week One of just how cruel the draft can be. The defending Subsim Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Dragons, with QB Phillip Rivers and WR Larry Fitzgerald, failed to live up to their first and second round draft picks, falling short in their first game. Owner RickC was heard to say "It's week one and you're crazy if you think we're out of it already" he mused, pushing aside the paparazzi upon leaving the Monday Night game. It was big scores across the league with the high scoring games of the Mudville Nine at the BP Badasses combining for over 201 points. The week was not without it's surprises however. In the significantly stronger Norris Division, all the local teams sustained a loss, handing the Dead Poets, the division lead. The Dead Poets are one of three international teams, the other teams of Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans also scoring wins in week one. All three international teams host their first home game next week. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. In week one, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present, for his performance of 6 passing touchdowns and 358 passing yards, QB Drew Brees of the Green Beans, the Week One MVT.