The joke thread II - Page 338

Platapus · 02-15-24, 03:51 PM

How is a woman like a car?

how many times, on a cold morning, it just won't turn over?

Jimbuna · 02-16-24, 02:00 PM

I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole one liner is urined.

Platapus · 02-17-24, 06:35 AM

My grief counselor died.

He was so good, I don’t even care.

Jimbuna · 02-17-24, 08:06 AM

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Platapus · 02-17-24, 10:55 AM

What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in your dirty laundry.

Jimbuna · 02-17-24, 02:09 PM

I think it'd be cool if they made those classical nude sculptures out of timber instead of stone, wooden tit?

Platapus · 02-18-24, 07:11 AM

Say what you will about pedophiles.

At least they drive slowly through school zones.

Jimbuna · 02-18-24, 09:54 AM

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business.

Platapus · 02-18-24, 12:47 PM

What’s the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani elementary school?

I don’t know, man. I just fly the drone.

Jimbuna · 02-18-24, 02:21 PM

The problem with sex in the movies is, that the popcorn usually spills.

Jimbuna · 02-19-24, 02:08 PM

Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.

Jimbuna · 02-20-24, 06:23 AM

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.

Platapus · 02-20-24, 04:16 PM

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking after you slap them.

Jimbuna · 02-21-24, 09:51 AM

I don't think it's possible for me to become a sniper. Not by a long shot.

Platapus · 02-21-24, 04:26 PM

Man walks into my office and says "I am from Russian Intelligence"

I reply "Gee, are you?

He said "No, FSB"

(rimshot)

02-15-24, 03:51 PM	#5056
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	How is a woman like a car? how many times, on a cold morning, it just won't turn over? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-16-24, 02:00 PM	#5057
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole one liner is urined. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-17-24, 06:35 AM	#5058
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-17-24, 08:06 AM	#5059
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-17-24, 10:55 AM	#5060
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub? Throw in your dirty laundry. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-17-24, 02:09 PM	#5061
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I think it'd be cool if they made those classical nude sculptures out of timber instead of stone, wooden tit? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-18-24, 07:11 AM	#5062
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-18-24, 09:54 AM	#5063
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-18-24, 12:47 PM	#5064
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What’s the difference between an ISIS training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don’t know, man. I just fly the drone. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-18-24, 02:21 PM	#5065
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The problem with sex in the movies is, that the popcorn usually spills. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-19-24, 02:08 PM	#5066
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-20-24, 06:23 AM	#5067
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-20-24, 04:16 PM	#5068
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What's the difference between my girlfriend and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking after you slap them. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-21-24, 09:51 AM	#5069
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I don't think it's possible for me to become a sniper. Not by a long shot. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-21-24, 04:26 PM	#5070
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Man walks into my office and says "I am from Russian Intelligence" I reply "Gee, are you? He said "No, FSB" (rimshot) __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.