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Old 08-13-2020, 11:50 AM   #1
Gut Wrench
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Icon1 2020 Subsim Fantasy Football Season

IT'S BACK!
Are you ready for some (make believe) football?

Yes, get ready for 16 of the most frustrating weeks you can ever imagine. It's just a couple of weeks until the kickoff of the 2020 Subsim.com Fantasy Football league.

Draft day is Saturday 5 September, 2020, at 0900 PDT.

"That seems a late draft and short notice?" - ESPN

The Commissioner of the Subsim Fantasy League has been in contact not only with world leaders on three continents, several airline companies and at least one car company. The safety of the players in this league is paramount, and must be addressed alongside the commercial aspects of our fan base and our sponsors. Some of our fans have been in isolation approaching five months - we are honored to that they have stayed with us for this long.


"What plans do you have to keep these fantasy players safe?" - NBC

At the completion of the draft, the Commissioner will outline some of modifications for both the season and for actual game days. As the world wide pandemic evolves on a daily basis, the response from the Subsim League must be made in accord with the developments and advice from our stakeholders, and the Coaches themselves.


"Will Antonio Brown be playing this year?" - Antonio Brown

The decision to play will always rest with the individual, which is why the Subsim League waited until after the Mandatory Opt Out Day before announcing the draft date. With that in mind, the League is still available with four (4) expansion teams available for Managers. The League will assist new Managers if the choose to join. As a lot of Managers may still be quarantined at home, the expansion roles will be filled on first come first serve basis.


Folks, there are a lot of questions still to be answered and today is not the day for that. Today's the day we set the draft, and let you know, there will be football.


In accord with that, this years draft, in light of the pandemic, will be taking place in one of the least affected pandemic region of the world - the Sahara Desert of Algiers.







Managers will camel there way in deep into the desert to a tent village set up around an oasis. Each Manager will have satellite link up and cell phone t the outside world, while a Harem of Algierian ladies attend to their hospitality needs. The actual location of the oasis is a highly guarded secret, as Jerry Jones is interested in setting up a new team in the area.


The link to the league is below:

https://football.fantasysports.yahoo...447199ab0a15d4

If you've ever wanted to be part of a pretend fantasy empire - this is the pandemic that you have waited for.

Each week, your make believe team goes head to head with other make believe teams, in one of the most coveted make believe stadiums in the world. Put your team and sledging skills to the test as we get ready to play Fantasy Football.
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Old 09-06-2020, 10:13 PM   #2
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COMMISSIONERS PRESS CONFERENCE
Major Announcement


The season has even started and we have our first major announcement. We go live to the conference now...





Commissioner: We're going to make this quick so you people can get back to regularly scheduled program.


The World has been dealing with the Covid situation, and the other major sporting leagues across the globe have enacted measures to ensure, both player and fan safety. The Subsim Fantasy Football League is no exception, and I'm here to announce, this evening, the first major response to the Covid situation.

In Australia, the government approach to returning citizens has been to quarantine for fourteen days upon arrival into the country, and prior to continuing to their final destination. This mandate would not work for our sole Australian Team, the Taipans, nor for the remainder of the league that is scheduled to play in Australia.

In conjunction with the Australian government, the Australian Taipans, and an American city, in order to prevent the further spread of Covid and maintain the integrity of the league, the Australian Taipans will be playing all their home games on US soil. A stadium has been secured for them, and for this season, they will be known as the Australian Taipans of Southern California,

The Taipans will play their home games as scheduled at Jack Murphy Stadium, also known as Qualcomm, in San Diego. This is an appropriate venue since being vacated by the Chargers several years ago. The decision to place the Taipans here stems from them being a former Torpedo Bowl Champion, and the greatest concentration of Australians outside of the homeland, is in Southern California.

"Who made the name choice?" - Mike Terico.

Comissioner: The Taipans were initially in talks with the City of Los Angeles, when a representative from a Major League Baseball team, the Anaheim Angels, suggested that they have an extraordinary long name for no apparent reason.

"What about the Nighthawks?" - Joe Buck

Comissioner: We have secured another venue for the Nighthawks in the City of Saint Louis. The Nighthawks after completing the draft, and getting a C grade (snicker snicker) were not allowed re entry into the United Kingdom, and were redirected to Saint Louis, where the league has prepared the stadium, fans, training grounds and strippers, for the arrival of the Nighthawks. For the 2020 season, they will be known as the Helmand Nighthawks; Deployed in Saint Louis. The Nighthawks will be playing in the vacant Edward Jones Dome.






The League has apologized to the teams, the fans and the hookers who follow the teams for this sudden change of home venue for the Covid Year of Fantasy Football. In a stroke of scheduling luck though, both the Nighthawks and the Taipans were scheduled to play the first game of the season as the away team, with the Nighthawks @ Who Dat Nation Rises in Oregon, being our first Match of the Day. This scheduling anomaly will allow both teams an extra week to acclimatize.

Last edited by Gut Wrench; 09-06-2020 at 10:28 PM.
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Old 09-15-2020, 12:45 AM   #3
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Monkeys Defeat Bowl Champ
Gunners Silenced

This is it folks, after the long wait, we're back again and it's Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.

Let's recap some of preseason for those that came in late.

There was no preseason, we started with the draft, and teams had five days.

Got it? Good! Let's get to the football after the most important news you need to hear.


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Last year, the Guns of Hochuli were a regular season mediocrity, up and down in their wins and losses before scrambling into the post season. But, once in the post season, they went the whole way and defeated the two biggest names in the league to win their first Torpedo Bowl. So after the the draft you would expect that dominance to continue, particularly when they are playing at home the Drunk Monkeys, one of the most disappointing teams in the league when they're not present - but dynamic when they show up. Having missed the draft for Covid19, Coach Thad was no where to be seen for the Monkeys but the players didn't seem to mind - as they set about just thumping the Gunners.

With starting quarterback Kyle Murray, the Monkeys looked like they might have the red rump to sustain the Gunners blasting. It was in the Monkeys wide receiving corp that that Monkeys showed their true dominance, outscoring the Gunners 80 points to36. Coach Casey of the Gunners may have misread the players list at the draft and thought he was getting Antonio Brown (WR) but instead drafted AJ Brown (WR) who was the disappointment of the game. The Monkeys open the regular season with the leagues highest score of the week just annihilating the Gunners 183 - 136. With the Monkeys having the first week one win in seven years, could this be the year that the Drunk Monkeys come through - should their Coach show up?

The Subsim Match of the Game in Oregon was the heavyweight clash we've come to expect from easily, the two best Coaches on the league. Coach Fuel for Blood of the Who Dat Nation Rises was hosting Mister Chris of the Helmand Nighthawks in a week one divisional match. These two team are going to to go back and forth all year in the run to win the divisional and the #1 seed, with the other to take one of the wildcard positions. Returning as the oldest starting QB in the league, Drew Brees (QB) did not have a stand out game for the Nation on a first appearance, but did enough to keep the Nation in the hunt. Thee Nighthawks however, took Lamar Jackson (QB) as the first quarterback in the draft and this paid dividends in excess of 30 points. Both teams receiving corps were held in check to lower than expected scores, with the Nighthawks Josh Jacobs (TE) being instrumental in giving the Nighthawks the win. In a an expected slug fest, the Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation went back and forth until the final whistle. In the end, the performance of the Nighthawks was just better than the Nation, resulting in a 155 - 130 win for Mister Chris and the Nighthawks.

Well, we didn't have to wait very long for the first thriller of the year, with the Black Cats hosting the Australian Taipans. The Taipans ran onto the field Thursday night but were finished by Sunday afternoon. The Black Cats stayed close and despite starting underdogs, this was looking to be a exciting season home opener for the Cats. And then Chris Riddley (WR) of the Taipans showed up with two touchdowns and 130 yards. The Black Cats had drafted Derrick Henry (RB) with the first draft choice and expected yardage and a score from him. Henry (RB) ran the ball for 116 yards and with just two (2) seconds left in the game, needed two (2) more yards to give the Black Cats the win. It was not to be and in the closest scoring game of the week, the Taipans managed to squeak out a win against an unexpected high performance Black Cats 169.04 - 167.12.

So after Week One - where do we stand?

Half the league is 0-1, the other half is 1-0.

Of note, all the visiting teams won on opening day, the first time that this has happened in the league. Wow.

With Covid19 restricting player movements to the continental area, the Helmand Nighthawks get to play their first game in their assigned stadium next week when the Black Cats travel to Saint Loius. This game represents two coaches who have multiple Torpedo Bowl appearances, with Mister Chris being the most acclaimed coach with more wins.

Also, next week, this column will be coming to you later than usual. I will be on the road next Sunday at Sofi Stadium for the Chargers game, then driving to the "Death Star" for Monday Night with the Las Vegas Raiders, as part of the press Corp.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For For the effort of 16 yards for 1 rushing touchdown, and 5 receptions for 51 yards and a receiving touchdown, for a total score of 23.70, the opening week MVT goes to Alvin Kamara (RB) of the Drunk Monkeys.


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Old 09-21-2020, 10:40 PM   #4
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LEAGUE RECORDS FALL
...as the Monkeys Get Spanked.

Week Two in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Boy, oh boy, do we have some highlights for you. We'll talk about the team that set a league record, the international team that opened their American based campaign, and for the second time in two weeks, the thriller that came down to late Monday night.

But before we get to those highlights, let's give you the most important news that you will hear this week.


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As we reported several weeks ago, the Covid 19 pandemic created a need for a football bubble, forcing the league Commissioner to temporarily relocate the two (2) international teams to the North American continent. The first international team, the Australian Taipans of Southern California are playing their home games in the empty Qualcomm Stadium of San Diego, where this weekend, they opened their American home stay with the Drunk Monkeys coming to town. The Monkeys after getting a win in the first week of the season, should have stayed home as they were embarrassed by the Taipans. The Taipans went out and amassed the highest league score, ever, and also amassed the highest margin of win. There's very little we need to say about this game other than the final score. The Australian Taipans of Southern California advance to 2-0 as they easily account for the Drunk Monkeys 254 - 137.

The match of the Week involved our second international team, the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed in Saint Louis showed that their new digs is a winning venue as well. The Nighthawks were hosting the Black Cats in the Nighthawks stadium opener. Lamar Jackson (QB) didn't show the same strength as he did last year, but it was the 8 catches for 179 yards form Julian Edeleman (WR) that helped the Nighthawks to an acceptable score. Conversely, it was the wide receiving corp that let the Black Cats down, failing to catch a single touchdown. The Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis account for the Black Cats easily 151 - 107.

It's only week two and already we have our second rewrite rising from our second thriller. Two teams that were defeated last week, both of them former Torpedo Bowl Champions, came together trying to avoid being the last place in the league. The Gunners were hosting the the traveling Nation out of Oregon, and before the weekend even started, were playing a man down. The Gunners failed to remove Greg Kittle (TE) from the starting team and were forced to play a man short. Under normal circumstances, the Who Dat Nation Rises would just destroy the opposition starting a player short, but this week they struggled to keep pace. The Gunner Matt Ryan (QB) carried the team with an impressive 36 points, and it came down to Monday night with the Nation starting both Drew Brees (QB) and Jared Cook (TE). In a normal season, you would expect Brees and Cook to just run over the Gunners, but it was not to be. Brees (QB) failed to pass enough and Cook (TE) couldn't receive a pass to catch, putting the Nation 12 points behind going into the last quarter of the weekend. On the last pass of the night, Drew Bress (QB) passed for 15 yards, to give the Who Dat Nation (just) enough to squek on by the Guns of Hoculi. Even here in the booth we had to go back and check the numbers to make sure. The Who Dat Nation Rises narrowly defeats the Guns of Hochuli 120.78 - 119.72.

After two weeks, the two international teams of the Helmand Nighthawks and the Australian Taipans sit at the top of the league both 2-0. They currently hold a one game lead over their pursuers. At the bottom of the league, a surprising Guns of Hochuli share the cellar with the Black Cats at 0-2. While the Nighthawks have the history of winning, the Taipans have a lesser history, so we won't know if they can sustain their scoring ways. We'll see how the Nighthawks continue next week when they visit the Guns of Hochuli in our Match of the week.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

hard to look past the Australian Taipans this week, every player worthy of the league record performance. For the effort of 168 yards for 2 rushing touchdown, and 4 receptions for 68 yards and a receiving touchdown, for a total score of 51.60, the Week Two MVT goes to Aaron Jones (RB) of the Australian Taipans of Southern California.


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Old 09-28-2020, 10:20 PM   #5
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TWO MONDAY NIGHT THRILLERS
...who saw this coming?.

Week Three in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Wow. If you thought picking a quarterback off the waiver wire was only going to get you twenty points, you need to see what happened this week. If you thought benching the reigning Torpedo Bowl QB was a bad move, you need to see what happened this week. And if you thought that we couldn't have two thrillers come down to Monday night, making for the fourth occurrence, you need to see what happened this week

Before you see what happened this week, here's the most important thing you need to do this week though.


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Let's start with the Australian Taipans of Southern California, temporarily occupying the Q Stadium in San Diego as they host the Black Cats. the Cats and the Taipans met in week 1 where the Taipans were barely able to squeak out a victory, that they really had no business losing. This week the Taipans came to play, modifying the wide receiver corps to drop their #1 receiver for an additional receiver. The Cats were scratching their post right from the outset as they started both Harrison Buttker (K) and Baltimore (DEF) The Cats look like they're about to become the first "ghost team" of the season, once again, and as the weeks progress, become nothing more than a smelly cat. Taipans account for the Black Cats 181 - 119.

I can't remember the last time that we had two (2) games in the Subsim Torpedo League, come down to the final quarter on Monday Night. We're only in week three of the regular season and this week, we had two games. Let's start with our Match of the Day, the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis.


The Gunners under Coach Casey were the first team to hit the waiver wire after the draft. As the defending Torpedo Bowl Champion, the Gunners have very quietly and methodically go about the business of pretend football. The Nighthawks, easily the dominate force in the Torpedo Bowl of recent years, is not afraid to make moves as well. When the program for this game came out and I saw that Mister Chris had benched Lamar Jackson (QB) in order to pick up Russell Wilson (QB), even I had to question the move. Pfft. What do I know - I'm not a Coach in the league and the decision by Mister Chris to start Wilson (QB) earned him 50 points. 50! That's an insane score for a quarterback, what did Coach Casey had to respond. Gunners quarter back Matt Ryan was disappointing, but it was the Gunners wide receiving corps that outscored the Nighthawks, lead by Keenan Allen (WR) with 36 points. On Monday night, the scored were close and each had one (1) player left. For the Nighthawks it was Travis Kelce (TE) and for the Gunners, Clyde Edwards - Helaire (RB). Kelce (TE) and Edwards - Helaire stayed on pace with each other, moving the score forward, but it was the Gunners ground game that was able to roll forward in the last two minutes of the week. Edwards - Helaire finished with 18 points, Kelce (TE) with 14 points, giving the Guns of Hochuli a key win over the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis. Final score in this game, Gunners hold on for their first win of the season 150.72 - 145.3.

How many times in the past years have we talked about the Drunk Monkeys being the best damm team - when they show up. The Monkeys were hosting the second heavyweight of the league when the Who Dat Nation Rises came to town. Both the Monkeys and the Nation were at 1-1, the Monkeys having a shock win, and the Nation having a shock loss. One of these teams was going to come out of their game sub .500%, the other other to a possible tie breaker. The Monkeys started Julio Jones (WR) who was scratched earlier in the week, and this meant that Alvin Kamara (RB) had to pick up the slack - and that he did becoming the second player of the weekend to score over 50 points. The Nation started New Orleans (DEF) who recorded the first negative score of the year, -3. Would those three points come into play as the Monkeys relied on Justin Tucker (K) to boot the Nation and give the Monkeys the win? Tucker kicked 2 FG and 2 PAT, but needed another field goal to close out the game for the win. In a nail bitter, the Who Dat Nation Rises holds on after being pushed to the last two minutes of the week, winning 173.08 - 170.5.

Where do we go for next weeks games? There are some really good match ups, but the one unpredictable element was that the Australian Taipans would be leading the league. Next week they travel to Saint Louis where our other international team, the Helmand Nighthawks are Deployed. And that top of the table game is our Match of the Day as the heavyweight of the league the Nighthawks, host the upstart of the season the Taipans.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Hard to look past the Australian Taipans again this week. I actually voted for the performance of Indianapolis (DEF) with 36 points, but the others voted for an individual. For the effort of 385 yards, 4 passing TD's, 26 rushing yards, and 1 rushing touchdown, for a total score of 54.0, being the third player this week to score more than 50 points, the Week Three MVT goes to Patrick Mahonnes (QB) of the Australian Taipans of Southern California.


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Old 10-05-2020, 11:05 PM   #6
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TWO MONDAY NIGHT THRILLERS - AGAIN?
...and what happened Saturday?

Week Four in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Is this not the most competitive season in the history of the Torpedo Bowl as we reach for our sixth Monday night rewrite as, once again, two games hang in the balance as we conclude two separate Monday Night games. Yes, that's right, you heard, two separate Monday night games. How did that happen? We'll tell you, right after we tell you the most important message that you need to hear today.



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First things first, let's talk about the mess that happened last Saturday.


In the pandemic era, the Subsim League has begun to see it's first cases of Covid 19 affecting players, most notably, Cam Newton (QB) of the Guns of Hochuli. The league has postponed the games of several players to later weeks, bringing their byes forward and catching coaches off guard. However, the most telling situation was the delay in the announcement of another game, until after the waiver wire closed at 10am Saturday morning.


Commissioner Pioneer explains: "The league had advised that a decision would be made after testing was completed Saturday morning, however, our partner did not deliver the results until after the waiver wire closed. Accordingly, in light of the results, players were moved to Monday afternoon creating two Monday night games, and unfortunately, some Coaches will be unhappy.


Top of the list of unhappy was Coach Pioneer who had multiple players lined up waiting on the test results. I happen to know that twice a week the Commissioner and that Coach car pool together- I can tell you there were some terse words exchanged between those two while driving to work on Monday and then long bouts of silence.


So, having reorganized several games, lets look at the games that did proceed and how they played out.


Our defending Torpedo Bowl Champions the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Who Dat nation this week. The Gunners have started below standard and were 1-2 coming into the game. Their opponent was Coach FuelForBlood and the Who Dat Nation Rises who flew to the game form Oregon via Las Vegas, Atlantic City and Branson just to avoid the virus - and to overnight at the respective casino cities. The Nation absolutely thumped the Gunners this week, smashing their previous best margin of defeat. The Gunners, just did not score as they had four (4) key starters affected by the virus ruled out of the game. The Who Dat Nation easily account for the Guns of Hochuli 175 - 69.


In our cellar dweller battle, and perhaps the best game of the week, the Black Cats turned on some hospitality as they welcomed the Drunk Monkeys to the South Carolina. The Cats had Devonte Adams (WR) and Derrick Henry (RB) listed as starters despite their Covid rating, while the Monkeys had Pittsburgh (DEF) likewise listed while in quarantine. Despite starting two (2) players down, the Cats were sensational putting up a very respectable score of 149. The Monkeys, as we have chronicled over the years, are the best damm team to almost show up and gave the Cats a run for their money. When Julio Jones (WR) left the field with a half to play, the loss cemented the Cats first victory of the year. Final score, the Black Cats 149 hold on to defeat the Drunk Monkeys 138.



Our final game of the week and our Match of the Day was the Helmand Nighthawks deployed to Saint Louis hosting the Australian Taipans of Southern California. (Gasping for air after those long names) Coach Chris of the Nighthawks is the winning-est coach in the history of the league, but this year, have trailed by Coach Pioneer who coming into this game, wad the only undefeated team at 3-0. This game became controversially impacted by the Covid decision, with both Coaches unable to use the waiver wire when it looked like the game announcement would not be made. The Nighthawks, needing to get back to their league domination performance of years past went out and were helped by a carer high game from O'Dell Bekham Junior with 39 points. The Nighthawks and Taipans went back and forth on Sunday morning, trading the lead seven (7) times before the Nighthawks jumped out to a lead late Sunday. The Taipans had multiple players stacked for Monday night, and when the announcement was of the second game was not received in time, the Taipans put their chase in the hands a of Aarron Rodgers (QB) and Calvin Ridley (WR). Rodgers was outstanding, leading the charge for the Taipans, but they were let down by Ridley (WR) who failed to catch a ball in the first half - and none in the second half. From 70 points back, the Taipans chased the Nighthawks, but came up less than touchdown short when the final whistle sounded. Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis get one over the Australian Taipans of Southern California 170 - 165.


With a quarter of the season over lets recap where each of the teams are. Well, it's real easy. The Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis, the Who Dat Nation Rises and the Australian Taipans of Southern California are all 3-1. The other half of the league, the Guns of Hochuli, the Black Cats and the Drunk Monkeys are all 1-3. and while not out of contention, the Black cats have two divisional teams in front of them with a winning record, while the Monkeys and the Gunners only have one team in front of them with a winning record.

Next week we go back to Texas where Coach Casey and the Guns of Hochuli are hosting the Black Cats. As the defending Torpedo Bowl holders, the Gunners have fallen behind on their win count and need to get over the Black Cats. The cats, having recorded their first win, can continue on their way and steady the ship after a poor start to the season.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

They had to do it the hard way but in earning their first win of the season, they were carried by one player. For the effort of 152 rushing rushing yards and 2 rushing touchdowns, 6 receptions for 30 yards and 1 touchdown, , for a total score of 48.10, the Week Four MVT goes to Joe Mixon (RB) of the Black Cats.

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Old 10-13-2020, 09:03 PM   #7
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THE LONGEST WEEK ENDS...FINALLY.
...and votes have been counted.

It's Week Five (and a half) in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.We got to talk about last week before we can get tot his week. We gotta talk about the thriller on the last scheduled game of the week, that wasn't. And we gotta reset the table and try to work out where the league goes form here.

But before we do any of that, we gotta get this most important message to you all.

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Before we get to what happened, we need to go back and talk about what happened before this.

Several teams (looking at you Guns of Hochuli) had players breach Covid protocol which resulted in some of the games being rescheduled. Not only were games this week changed, so were games changed next week. Thus, last night, Monday Night, while I was doing yet another rewrite int he thriller between the Who Dat Nation Rises and the Australian Taipans of Southern California, I thought it was going to go down to the wire. Alas, I had forgotten that there was still players who were going to play on Tuesday Night, and thus, we now have the longest week in league history.

So let's talk about that Nation and Taipans game. It feels like the Taipans have been in every thriller this year, and they just about have - this week being no exception. The Taipans travel to Oregon where the Who Dat Nation was running level with the Helmand Nighthawks - a win to the Nation would give them the division lead. The Nation were hunting the Taipans, swapping the league all day Sunday as they kept pace, taking this game deep into the weekend. And then ....it happens. Starting QB for the Who Dat Nation Dak Prescott sustained a season ending injury, making for the second player on the Nation roster expected to carry them into the post season. With a narrow lead, The Taipans had no players left for Monday Night as the Nation fielded New Orleans (DEF). The nation took the lead at the start of the game but couldn't hold it long enough to get the win. The Australian Taipans get another narrow win as they hold out the Who Dat Nation 152 - 144.

Our defending Torpedo Bowl holder, Coach Casey and the Guns of Hochuli are in trouble. With the changes in the scheduling of the games Coach Casey was moving players around, and awaiting the results of Covid tests before cementing their starting line up. The Gunners failed to report back to the league so they starting team was filled with holes, players absent on vacation or with Covid. The Black cats, while looking like a ghost team are still managing to score enough point, as we saw last week when they got an unexpected win. The Black Cats repeat this week to get another victory defeating the Guns of Hochuli 160 - 106.

Our final game this week was the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. The Monkeys as we have documented, are the best unmanaged team in the league - we have to ask just how good they would be if their freaking coach showed up. The Monkeys put up a respectable score but it would be no match as the Nighthawks used the Tuesday game to add more point tot heir tally, Final score, the Helmand Nighthawks deployed to Saint Louis easily account for the Drunk Monkeys 166 - 123.

So our league is starting to shape up. The two internationals of the Nighthawks and the Taipans lead the league and their respective divisions at 4-1. The Who Dat Nation have sole ownership of the third place at 3-2. Once we slip below the .500% mark, the Black Cats occupy the fourth position with a 2-3 record. At the bottom of the table, shockingly, the Guns of Hochuli, the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, share the cellar with the Drunk Monkeys.

Next week we go down to South Carolina where the Black Cats will be hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Nation are hot favorites to win but they have had more injuries this season that any other tea,. The composition of their team as they head towards the playoffs is most intriguing as they go against a ghost team still in tact.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There were some interesting choices this week, and with the extra day, the postal votes arrived in time For the effort of 217 yards and 3 touchdowns, and 58 rushing yards for a total score of 29.48, the Week Five MVT goes to Russell Wilson (QB) of the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis.


Last edited by Gut Wrench; 10-13-2020 at 10:08 PM.
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Old 10-19-2020, 10:40 PM   #8
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THE SHORTEST WEEK ENDS...FINALLY.
...and we have a new league leader.


It's Week Six in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. After the longest week in the history of the league, we arrive to the one of the shortest weeks in the history of the league. And for a couple of teams, it was probably even longer than the week before. We'll get you the details of the games, the standings on the league and the implications for the balance of the season.

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Week Six and we go to Texas with the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Australian Taipans. The bookmakers had this as an easy walk over win for the Taipans. They lead the league, they've scored the most points, they look pretty much like a Torpedo Bowl team. Except, someone forgot to tell the Guns of Hochuli who just came out and in a low scoring match, held on in the worst game of the week. The Gunners and Taipans were neck and neck the entire weekend, so when it came to the last game on Monday night, the Taipans had two players to the Gunners one player - including their Patrick Mahonnes (QB). Once again, someone forgot to tell the Guns of Hochuli star Clyde Edwards Helaire (RB) who outscored the Taipans. Unbelievable, The Guns of Hochuli hold the Australian Taipans to a low scoring game, beating them convincingly 114 - 109.

With that upset, we couldn't possibly have another upset win could win? Hold your tickets folks, we go down to South Carolina to see the Black Cats hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. The Cats are starting to look like the best damm ghost team in the history of the league, and they added more credibility to their non existence. The Nation have been dealing with the loss of two of their top three picks, but you would still expect Coach Fuel For Blood to put up a respectable score against a significantly weaker team. But that didn't happen. The Black Cats just punished the Who Dat Nation Rises by burying them in the kitty litter, outclassing the Nation 161 - 109. 161! Imagine who good they would be if they showed up.

We go to our third and final game with in trepidation, could the impossible really happen and the top three teams in the league get belted by the bottom three? Could Coach Chris and the Helmand Nighthawks succumb to Coach Thad and the Drunk Monkeys who still decided to start two players who were out with Covid. But lets not assume that the Nighthawks had their way with this, the Monkeys gave the Nighthawks a run for their money, but when you play two players down...it's inevitable that you going to loose, But it was close. The Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louise defeat the Drunk Monkeys 148-137.

With this weeks games, where does it leave the league. Stand by, we've got some positional shake up.

The Helmand Nighthawks advance to 5-1 and now have sole ownership of the league. The shock loss by the Taipans means that our second international team currently inside the Torpedo Bowl bubble, the Australian Taipans of Southern California come in at 4-2. You would expect the Nightahwks to be the class of the field but the Taipans are playing almost as good. It's behind them that the shocks start to begin.


After this weeks win, the Black Cats advance to 3-3 and hold the divisional tiebreaker. The Who Dat Nation Rises falls to the Cats for the second time this second time this season in a manner no one expected. But the Nation needs to look behind them as the Guns of Hochuli storm into contention to advance to 2-4. Bringing up the rear, and not yet out of it, the Drunk Monkeys at 1-5.

Who predicted that table at this point of the season? no one.

Next week we go to Saint Louis where the league leading Helmand Nighthawks host the Who Dat Nation Rises. these two teams are the engine house of the league but the nation is not firing on all cylinders. Another loss here places the nation in jeopardy while a win tot he Nighthawks puts them within reach of being the first team to clinch a play off spot. We'll be here with all the news, and the fantasy make believe that you've come to expect.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of168 rushing yards, 4 receptions for 8 yards for a total score of 26.90, the Week Six MVT goes to Clyde Edwards Helaire (RB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

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Old 10-26-2020, 10:34 PM   #9
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CHAMPIONS FALL
...and we have a ballgame

Week Seven in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. And...it happened. The two league leaders both lost to teams that they had no business losing too. A ghost teams got up, and the defending champions close the gap to the leaders and stay in the hunt.

Who saw these results coming?


We'll tell you, right after this very important message.

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Put your beers down and pay attention folks, 'cause we got ourselves some interesting results this weekend that have thrown a spanner into the works as we reach the halfway point. Let's go around the grounds and find out what happened and who got shafted.

Our match of the day this week was the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis hosting the Who Dat Nation. Easily, the two powerhouse teams of the past few years these giants have traded wins and loses back and forth with one another. The Nighthawks came into the weekend leading the league 5-1 and the Nation were behind the curve at 3-3 but already have two divisional losses. In a race for the potential #3 or #4 seed, the Nation needed to have a good game and some results fall in their favor. They didn't have a great game, but they didn't need to as the Nighthawks imploded, lead by Chase Claypool (WR) who had one reception for -2 yards and total of 0.8 points. The Nation rally big time when it was needed to put the Nighthawks away 157 - 110.

In the battle of the also rans, the Drunk Monkeys were hosting the defending Torpedo Bowl Champions, the Guns of Hochuli. The Monkeys have consistently been a team that was "oh so close" to winning more games if their Coach just bothered to show up. The Gunners, lead by Coach Casey have systematically been dropping and adding players form the waiver wire as they claw their way back into the hunt. In a game that showed that the Monkeys can score points even without their Coach, the Gunners showed that having the Coach on the sideline is better for winning. The Gunners put another win in the column as they defeat the Drunk Monkeys 141 - 116.

It took seven weeks for the Australian Taipans of Southern California to NOT be involved in a last minute rewrite. While they have outscored the entire league by almost half a game, their legacy came to a crashing halt this week as the Black cats put on an ass whipping that was embarrassing. The Cats were playing without a TE, Kicker and defense and they still managed to roll up the second highest score of the league. The Taipans, having seen the Nighthawks implode in the earlier game, said "hold my beer" and just got cut to pieces. In the end, it wasn't even close as the Black cats obliterate the Australian Taipans 146 - 126.

The loss to the league leaders doesn't change the standing very much, but, it does draw the gaps between the top five teams into a more enticing configuration.

The Nighthawks lead the league at 5-2, but one game behind them at 4-3, are thee teams within arms reach of the top spot. The ghostly Black Cats (unbelievable) the Who Dat Nation and the Australian Taipans - who were running away with the league three weeks ago, are all tied up, and just one game behind them is the Guns of Hochuli at 3-4. With just a two game spread between the tops and bottom of this group, it's not clear yet whether there is a definitive divisional leader, or if this is going to come down to the countback - as we have seen in the last few years. Two games back even further are the 1-6 Drunk Monkeys who are not yet eliminated from a play off spot.

Just one week folks, that's all it takes, for the pack to hunt you down. Let's see where the hunt take us next week.

Our Match of the Day next week will see us return to Oregon where Coach Fuel for Blood and the Who Dat Nation will host the Guns of Hochuli. The Nation and the Gunners while in different divisions, are within one game of each other, and within one game of the league leaders. While neither team cam claim the league lead with a win next week, the winner will have begun the first step to relegate their opposition into the elimination bracket, provided they can back it up over future weeks.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort of13 receptions for 197 yards and 4 touchdowns, for a total of 50.60 points, and the single handed demolition of their opposition while playing three positions short, the Week Seven MVT goes to Devonte Adams (WR) of the Black Cats.

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Old 11-02-2020, 11:29 PM   #10
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MONKEY THRILLER
...and we have a ballgame

Week Eight in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Mark your calendar folks. When we get later int he season and start looking back, you can circle this week as pivotal in deciding the post season seeding. We've got upsets, unlikely victories and a shake up in the standings.

On the night before the United States goes to the pools to decide their next President, here's the most important message you need to hear today.


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Let' start with our match of the day.

As much as we would like not to start with it, we need to cover. last week we saw the Taipans implode. This week we get to watch the Who Dat Nation Rises scream "hold my bear" as they set about undoing the memory of the previous week. The nation were hosting the Guns of Hochuli in a game that the Nation needed to win to stay in the hunt against their divisional rivals. Coach Casey and the Gunners have once again shown a very quiet approach to the season as they systematically knock off the league leaders one by one and begin to crawl their way to the top. This week they got the Nation and handed them a lesson on football. There are so many low lights form this game, we're just going to give you the score. The Gunners hand the nation once of their worst ever defeats, thrashing the Nation at home 149 - 78.

In Saint Louis, the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to the town were hosting the Black Cats. Earlier in the season the Cats got around the Nighthawks, but that hadn't stopped Mister Chris from coaching his team into the #1 position in the league - coming from behind in several games. This week the Nighthawks lead almost from the start as the Black Cats started no less than three (3) players who were out on vacation today. The Nighthawks, playing in a later game, were aware of the result of the Who Dat Nation Rises scores before they took to the field, and marched over the Black cats focused on the outright league lead. In a return to fine performance, the Helmand Nighthawks take the victory against the Black cats 154 - 96.

Having won their game, the Nighthawks were waiting on the result of just one game to determine where whether they had sole ownership of the league. For the seventh time this year, we have the Taipans yet another thriller, and for the sixth time this year, we're rewriting the report.

The Drunk Monkeys have shown that prior to this year, they have had the best damm ghost team in the league. If only they showed up. Well today, even playing with three 93) players out on vacation, they went after the Taipans. The Monkeys spanked the Taipans early and lead form the first change. At half time the Monkeys had blown the Taipans out by thirty(30) points and were looking like creating the biggest upset of the year. Late Sunday afternoon the Taipans had narrowed the gap after the Monkeys left the field, leaving the balance of the game in the hands of Mike Evans(WR). The Taipans stopped scoring with 25 seconds left on Monday Night, handing the Monkeys the most improbable win of the season. Monkeys win 138.3 - 137.04.

The Helmand Nighthawks have sole ownership of the league at 6-2 and are within three (30 games of clinching a play off berth. With divisional rival the Who Dat Nation Rises dropping to 4-4, they generate a tie with the Black Cats with the felines owning the tie breaker.

In the Surface Skimmers division, the Taipans lead the division but the Guns of Hochuli are hounding them at 4-4. The Drunk Monkeys trail them by a couple of games but are not yet eliminated form the playoffs given that no one on the division seems to be able to take hold of it.

Next week we catch the Amtrak and go down the California Coast to San Diego where the Australian Taipans of Southern California are hosting the Who Dat Nation. Bot these teams need to win the game to stay in touch with the Helmand Nighthawks, and more importantly, head for the more favorable seeding in the post season, In what would be the second favored combination for the Torpedo Bowl, these two teams need get their game on.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

In the biggest upset of the year. For the effort of 167 rushing yards for 3 touchdowns, and 2 receptions for 63 yards and 1 touchdown for a total of 54.60 points, the Week Eight MVT goes to Devon Cook (WR) of the Drunk Monkeys.

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Old 11-09-2020, 11:11 PM   #11
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THE BIG WINNERS
Running to the post season.


Week Nine in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We'll cover the three games that you expected to see the winners from, and the three teams who pushed the winners right to the brink. Well go around the grounds, capture the flavor and give you a glimpse into what the post season may look like.

before we give you the looking glass, here's the most important audible that you need to hear today.



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Our match of the day wasn't close, but it is personal.


After suffering three straight losses, which they could have won, the Taipans host the Who Dat Nation Rises. The Nation have been slightly off their game int he past few weeks, so this was a "must win" for Coach Fuel For Blood. Except....no one told Coach Pioneer. In a return to the shoot out form, the Taipans jumped out to an early lead and never took their foot off the pedal. Unlike in the past three weeks, the Taipans receivers finally showed up, allowing them to run away and win the game 166 - 102.


About halfway across the country, the Helmand Nighthawks were hosting the Drunk Monkeys. If you thought this was a game that the Nighthawks should have circled as a win, you would right - but the Monkeys made the Nighthawks fly to get it. The Nighthawks have already been shocked by the Monkeys, they were not about to let it happen a second time. But the Monkeys, now, the best best Ghost Team in the history of the league, stunned the fantasy community by having both Kyler Murray (QB) and Alvin Kamara (RB) both scoring over 45 points. The Nighthawks began the game with a rookie mistake, starting both Will Lutz (K) and Tampa bay (DEF). As it turned out, the workload of the Defense didn't hamper the Nighthawks, and they managed to sneak a win in that should have been a lot easier. Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis defeat the Drunk Monkeys 182 - 153.


Our final game of the week is our defending Torpedo Bowl holders, the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Black cats. the cats have emerged this year as the best damm Ghost Team - ever, advancing to 4-4 and a potential playoff position. This week they traveled to tackled the Gunners, who have slowly worked their way beck into the play offs and...don't look now, the number #2 seed int he league. The Gunners were helped with the Cats starting Joe Nixon (Vacation) so playing one down helped them in the lowest scoring game of the week. The Guns of Hochuli continue their advance and retain their Surface Skimmers divisional lead by defeating the Black Cats 159 - 121.


Next week we take the Amtrak train to saint Louis for what might be a Torpedo Bowl meeting. Our two international teams currently homed in the United State due to Covid go head to head as the Helmand Nighthawks deployed to saint Louis welcome the Australian Taipans of Southern California to town. A win by the Nighthawks will put them close to clinching a play off berth, and the divisional title at the same time. A win by the Taipans will draw them closer to the Nighthawks and possibly stealing the #1 seed form the Nighthawks. It's our top of the table battle folks, and you'll get all the action here , next Monday night.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

This weeks winner is the first repeat winner of the year. For the effort 390 yards for 2 touchdowns, and rushing 5 yards 5 yards for 1 touchdown for a total of 31.60 points, the Week Nine MVT goes to Russell Wilson (QB) of the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis.

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Old 11-16-2020, 11:16 PM   #12
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MONKEYS SKIN THE CATS
...and the Taipans stop the slide.

Week Ten in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. Last week were touting the glory of one team becoming the best performing team with a ghost Manager, only to re crown our historical ghost team. We'll look at the Monday night thriller as, once again, we wait our the rewrite for the Taipans - again! And we'll check out the Who Dat Nation Rises that I'm sure we've all seen the injury to the Nation's key quarterback.

With all that good stuff to come, let's wet the appetite with this tasty morsel.

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When the Black Cats headed north of the .500% mark last week, we had to begin looking at them as the leagues first post season ghost team. Both the cats and the Drunk Monkeys were starting the game with two players on vacation for each team. In a 7 - 7 battle the Drunk Monkeys were looking strong when Pittsburgh (DEF) put a double digit score. The Cats, not to be shut out just yet, had moderate success running the ball, but it was the Monkeys dependable scoring machine Alvin Kamara (RB) who crossed for two rushing touchdowns that put the Drunk Monkeys back in the winners circle. The Drunk Monkeys in a battle of the ghost managers, defeat the Black Cats 133 - 95.

Down in Texas, Coach Casey and the Guns of Hochuli had Ed's son, Shaun, officiating their game against the Who Dat Nation Rises. Even with the family name connection, the Gunners struggled to put points on the board with just two (2) players reaching double digits. The Who Dat Nation, desperate to stop their slide out of a playoff position, were lead by their star Dree Brees (QB) until he was hit by a Mack Truck and taken out of the game. The injuries continue to pile up for the Nation as they have now lost their first,m third and fifth round players. The loss of Brees for his namesake team means we may have seen the last play of Brees for the Nation. With the mourning period waived, the Nation rallied, with their #1 running back, finally making some inroads and lifting the Who Dat Nation to a much needed win. This one wasn't even close, and now changes the complexion of the lower half of the league. In a much needed return to their winning form, the Who Dat Nation Rises easily account for the Guns of Hoculi 148 - 64.

After taking the Amtrak to Saint Louis, we got to see the top of league ladder battle between our two international teams 0 the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis hosting the Australian Taipans of Southern California. ::::gasssp::: The Nighthawks have owed this matchup in recent years, but unlike in past years, the Taipans have outscored everyone in the league, and still, they have enough losses to put them in third place in the league. In their adopted home, the Nighthawks looked strong - until they put the ball int he hand of the million dollar player, Russell Wilson (QB). With Wilson scoring barely more than a touchdown, the Taipans had to come form behind on Monday night in the hands of Justin Jefferson (QB). Needing just four (4) catches and about twenty (20) yards, the Taipans well and truly put the Helmand Nighthawks away with over 125 yards. Closing up the gap at the top of the table, the Australian Taipans defeat the Helmand Nighthawks 145 - 128.

So where does this leave the teams as we edge ever so closer to the Thanksgiving weekend of football.

The Helmand Nighthawks lead the league at 7- 3 but have not sewn up a post season position. The Nighthawks are borderline to clinching a play off position, but unlike in previous years, they have not secured their spot by week 10. The Australian Taipans lead the Surface Skimmers division and are placed second in the league with their 6-4 record. Behind them are a bunch of teams that the Taipans can still loose to and miss out on the playoffs. Their position is not secure.

And here's where it gets messy.

Both the Guns of Hochuli and the Who Dat Nation are tied at 5-5 with the Nation in the more precarious position having a losing divisional record. While that may not be entirely a much up, it's what's behind them that creates the issue.

The Black Cats have ghosted their way to 4-6 and only drop below .500% for the first time this week. This team could be so much better if Coach FYC just showed up. Behind them, the Drunk Monkeys are the perennial cellar dwellers again this year at 3-7.

Next week we go back to Texas as the Guns of Hoculi host the Australian Taipans of Southern California in a game that may decide the top seed form the Surface Skimmers division.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

It has been a long time coming but we finally got to see this team in the MVT discussion. For the effort 7 receptions for 127 yards and one touchdown, for a total of 31.70 points, the Week Ten MVT goes to Deandre Hopkins (WR) of the Who Dat Nation Rise.

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Old 11-23-2020, 11:23 PM   #13
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LEAGUE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
...as the underdogs gets up

Week Eleven in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.Mark this week down folks, if your team gets into the layoffs - it's because of this week. if you're team doesn't make the playoffs, it is also because of this week.


In a week where two teams had the chance to cement their path to the post season, they crumbled under the weight of the puny. Well give you all the details of how the Davids brought down the Goliath's, right after we cast this stone.


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With so much damage, where do we start?


In Carolina, the Black Cats were hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. The Nation has been up and down and with the devastating loss of the star Drew Brees (QB) the Nation has brought in, Big Ben Roethlisberger (QB. While only throwing for 167 yards, you would think that with the cats playing with two (2) men absent, the nation should have skinned the Black Cats alive. But it wasn't to be. The Cats Deshawn Watson (QB) threw for over points, and the wide receiving corp caught just about everything that was thrown at them. Needing a big night from - and he gets his first mention of the year, Antonio Brown (WR) the Nation pinned their hopes of Cooper Kupp (WR) who scored 25 points before halftime. Alas, the chase was just to far for the nation, and they run out of motion late on Monday night to fall to the Black Cats. In a a historical first, the Black cats become the first ghost team to occupy a post season seeding this late in the year. Final score - Black Cats 153 defeat the Who Dat Nation Rises 128.


In Texas, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting their divisional rivals the Australian Taipans. Coach Casey and Pioneer have swapped victories year after year with neither able to capitalize on the other. Earlier this year the Gunners took the win from the Taipans, despite the Taipans being the highest scoring tea in the league. This week, they meet again and the Gunners were needing their big shots to come out to manage the serpent. And the big shots did come out. The Gunners set a target, the highest score of the week and their highest score of the year, a formidable target for the Taipans to chase. But chase they did. On Sunday afternoon form 130 points back they chased down the Gunners to come within one point, but the Gunners still had a player, Leonard Fournette (RB) to run onto the field Monday night. The Taipans had expended their team, and it became a victory by "how much". For the second time this year, The Guns of Hochuli skin the Australian Taipans in the highest scoring game of the week, 177 - 165.



You wouldn't necessarily associate the word "thriller" with the Drunk Monkeys. You certainly wouldn't expect this to be a close game when they're playing the leagues number one seeded team, the Helmand Nighthawks. But a thriller and close game was what we got. Playing without their starting TE, Zac Ertz, the Drunk Monkeys have been engaged ina raging battle with the Black cats for the damm ghost team ever, with both teams seemingly achieving impossible, and improbable victories. Score another improbable for the Monkeys as they ran roughshod over the Nighthawks., The Nighthawks had a chance to come back late on Monday night but they needed to hold the MOnkeys Chris Goodwin (WR) to not very many yards. With just fifteen minutes to play the Monkeys crossed for a touchdown with Goodwin (WR) to seal the game.


This is the first time in many years that the Subsim League has gone into the Thanksgiving Day weekend with none of the seeding confirmed. No one team has clinched a play off berth, no one team owns the divisional lead, but on the longest week of football (second only to the Covid week) we get ready to see firmly establish the post season.


The Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis lead the league with a 7-4 record. The Nighthawks hold a two game lead back to both the Black Cats and the Who Dat Nation Rises who are tied at 5-6. The Nighthawks can clinch a berth with a win, but need to wait out other games to determine their seeding number. The Nation and the Black Cats are currently fighting it out for the #4 see,d but that could change in a heartbeat. The Sub Simmers are undecided.


Over in the Surface Skimmers it's even more confusing. The Guns of Hochuli hold the decided against the Australian Taipans of Southern California, but the Taipans have been the highest scoring team in the league. With a sub .500% divisional record, the Taipans need to win the division by a game to secure a play off berth, or find themselves relegated. The Drunk Monkeys are on the verge of elimination and need to win all their final games, and wait on favorable results.


So where, oh where, do we go for the Thanksgiving feats of football?


Should we look at the Taipans hosting the Black Cats for what may be a guaranteed play off berth? Maybe we should drop in on the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Guns of Hochuli where one team can be eliminated form playoffs with the other securing a win. No, we're heading back to Saint Louis to see the Helmand Nighthawks host the Who Dat Nation. These two divisional heavyweights go at it once again with more on the line this week. A win to the Nighthawks guarantees them a play off berth while a loss by the Nation puts them in jeopardy of missing the play offs. This is the deciding game of the game, in what has been the Torpedo Bowl in years of past.


And we'll be here to capture all the fake football as we gobble down loads of food while staying at home.


Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For the effort 16 receptions for 145 yards and one touchdown, for a total of 40.5 points, the Week Eleven MVT goes to Keenan Allen (WR) of the Guns of Hochuli.


Last edited by Gut Wrench; 12-03-2020 at 12:50 AM.
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Old 12-03-2020, 01:39 AM   #14
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GUNNERS ALMOST CLINCH
Nighthawks in Jeopardy

Week Twelve in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. And the longest damm weekend of football that I have ever . It started at noon on Thursday and finally finished Wednesday afternoon, bumping next Thursday back to Monday, and forcing waivers to Friday. If that isn't just the year 2020 in perspective, then nothing is.

And even though it is hours after the last game was played, because we've been on the road so long this weekend, someone forgot to their log in password to Subsim, and have to call long distance to have their home email opened to reset their password.

Now that we have the dramatics out of the way, lets get to down to what happened this weekend, and despite the fact that Neal says otherwise, we're going to tell you the most important thing you need to do today.


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On to the games.

It was the most nothing game of the year, and it lived up to all the hype. The Drunk Monkeys were hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Monkeys have not become the best damm ghost team that they seem to be year after year, having been outpaced by another. With the wooden spoon all but engraved with their name, they had little to play for when the Gunners arrived - and it showed. The Gunners were looking to cement a play off position and they could have run out their flag football team and still won the game. It wasn't even close. Guns of Hochuli defeat the Drunk Monkey 149-58.

What was close were the other games of the weekend. The Australian Taipans of Southern California were hosting the Black Cats. The Cats have marched into the role of the best damm ghost team ever defeating team after team, including the Taipans earlier in the season. This week they look destined to put another L on the Taipans list as Deshawn Watson (QB) runs onto the field and puts up 46 points before anyone has taken the turkey out of the oven on Thanksgiving Day. With two players still out on vacation, the Cats handed the ball off to Derrick Henry (RB) who stacked another 44 points up, before the first of the slithering Aussies ever took the field. The Taipans were playing from over 100 points behind if they were going to make a comeback - and come back they did. They not only reached the benchmark but put up enough points that despite Indianapolis (Def) having a negative score (-3) they were still able to put up the largest score of the week. In what looked to be a Cats victory early, the Taipans come back to send the Black Cats howl scarred. The Taipans in another high scoring game defeat the Black Cats 185 - 163.

But it was our Match of the Day that all eyes were focused on. The Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis and divisional rivals the Who Dat Nation were both playing to stay alive in their division and the league. Early Thursday, it looked like it was all Nighthawks as Will Fuller (WR) run amuck over the Nation putting up 41 points. Like all leagues, the random drug testing protocol after the game snared Fuller with performance enhancing drugs, and he was sent off long before the final whistle. The Nation were staring down the barrel of another divisional loss until Antonio Gibson (RB) surpassed Fullers score and put the Nation back into the game. With the movement of the final game of the week from Thursday to Sunday, to Monday, to Tuesday, and finally Wednesday, it looked like this might be a QB shoot out. The Nighthawks Russell Wilson (QB) failed to live up to expectations and didn't score a lot, just enough to give the Nighthawks the lead with just Roethlisberger (QB) to play for the Nation. Big Ben was not on form either, barely passing for one touchdown and not a lot of yards, but just enough yardage to sneak in front of the Nighthawks to win the game. In the longest chase of the week to arrive at the closest finish of the week, the Who Dat Nation Rises narrowly defeat their divisional rivals the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis by a score of 130.44 - 130.1.

We forecast last week that if a team didn't make the playoffs this year, it would be as a result of this weeks game. Lets take a look at what the results have done to the league. Lets start in the Sub Skimmers Division which in years past has traditionally been resolved by week 13. The Nighthawks lead the division at 7-5 with a 3-2 divisional record. The win by the Who Dat Nation lifts them to 6-6 with a 2-3 divisional record. The loss by the Black Cats puts them at 5-7, but they still have a chance to win the entire division. All these teams are still in the hunt.

In the Surface Skimmers Division, it's a bit more complicated. The Guns of Hochuli host the leagues #1 seed at 7-5, tied with the Australian Taipans. The Gunners win the countback with a 4-1 divisional record to the Taipans 2-3 divisional record. However, the Taipans have outscored the Gunners in total points by such a wide margin, it's not even close. The Drunk Monkeys bring up the rear of the division at 4-8, and while the Monkeys cannot win the Divisional Title, they are still alive for the #4 seed in the post season.

So while the Monkeys have been eliminated from winning the division, they are still alive to make the playoffs, although they will need help. In years gone past either the Nighthawks of the Nation have secured the #1 seed by this time, but this year, being 2020, nothing is secured. So it brings up a myriad of opportunities given the games scheduled for next week.

So we're going to go back to Texas where the Guns of Hochuli will be hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Gunners need to win both their last two games to take the division, and their last game is their divisional opponent who can beat the, The Nation, trailing the Nighthawks in divisional standings, needs to secure the outright win to put them ahead of the Black Cats, who have a divisional game against the Nighthawks. All eyes will be on the SubSimmers division next week as their Surface Skimmers opposition will decide the fate of all three teams.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

So many efforts worthy this week - you may have forgotten the early games given the length of time it took to get a result in the late games, We have forgotten though. For the effort 115 rushing yards with 3 touchdowns and another 5 receptions for 21 yards, for a total of 42.60 points, (needing ever point of years in the end) the Week Twelve MVT goes to Antonio Gibson (RB) of the Who Dat Nation Rises Again.

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Old 12-08-2020, 11:46 PM   #15
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NIGHTHAWKS, TAIPANS CLINCH
Gunners in Jeopardy

Week Thirteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. For the first time in the history of the league, we've gone twelve weeks without any team securing a playoff position. For the first time in the history of the league, neither of the divisional titles have been secured prior to the last week.

Now that we have the bullet points out of the way, lets get to down to what happened this weekend, and despite the fact that Neal says otherwise, we're going to tell you the most important thing you need to do today.


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On to the games.

Three games, six teams, lets break this down from the blow out to the thriller.

The Australian Taipans have outscored everyone this year and still they have only managed one win within the division. This week they were hosting the Drunk Monkeys who shocked the world earlier by defeating the Taipans in game they had no business losing. The Taipans wanted no memory of the past and they set about putting up the leagues highest score ever - for the second time this season. The Drunk Monkeys, once touted as the best damm ghost team have lost that title as well as they succumb to the avalanche of points, and become the first - and currently the only team to be eliminated for the playoffs. This game wasn't even close as the Taipans spank the Drunk Monkeys 226 - 124.

They have taken the title of the best damm ghost team and this week the Black Cats were hosting the Helmand Nighthawks in Carolina. The Cats have just stunned the western world with their 5-7 record without a Coach, beating the league up, and deciding playoff implications, the Gunners came out with two players short but Devonte Adams (WR) once again carried the team with a 40+ score. The Nighthakws, playing with the full compliment of studs didn't fire very well, and when Russell Wilson (QB) only scored 15 points, it looked like the Cats were going to produce the biggest upset of the year. Once again, the Helmand Nighthawks methodically stayed int he game, running their ball and airing it to Travic Kelcie (TE) to grind down the lead and pull ahead. It was an ugly win for the Nighthawks, but a W is a W. In a low scoring affair, the Nighthawks defeat the Black Cats 116 - 104.

Our match of the day was the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. The Gunners have lead the Surface Skimmers Division since week five, just one game ahead of the opposition. The Gunners, the defending title holders of the Torpedo Bowl, have just quietly gone about their business as they do year after year. This year however, they were at home against a team that also had quietly gone about their business, but was not leading the division. With both the Nation and the Gunners needed the win to stay in touch - and more so, to ensure they wouldn't be eliminated. When Clyde Edwards - Hellaire (RB) was listed on the starting tam of the Gunners, despite being thousands of miles away on a beach, you had to wonder if this would be a walk in the park for the Who Dat Nation to win. Not so, as the Nation barely made average scoring. You might be thinking that the Gunners had this won, when Justin Herbert (QB) took to the field, but with a score of only 4 points, the tide began to turn. Who Dat Nation megastar Ben Roethsliberger (QB) came out and did just enough work to put the Nation in front, and late on Monday night put enough points up on the board to secure a much needed win. In a thriller, the Who Dat Nation steal a game on the Guns of Hochuli by narrowly winning 139 - 102.

So where does that leave us. Let's start with the post season. The Drunk Monkeys can book their ticket wherever they can get a flight as they are eliminated from the playoffs with a 4-9 record. They are the first team eliminated form the playoffs. The Black cats are at 5-8 are regardless of results nest week, they too are eliminated. That leaves us the top four advance to the playoffs.

Now, there are two teams that have secured a play off position, but their seeding is not secure. The Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to saint Louis (in the Covid era) lead the Sub Simmers division with an 8-6 record. They can advance as the #1 team with a win and a loss by the Taipans. They can win their division with a win, and could be as high as the #1 seed. They can be as low as the #4 seed.

In the Surface Skimmers division, it's a little more complicated. The Australian Taipans as we reported have outscored everyone. They can take the #1 seed with a win next week. However, a loss puts them in jeopardy. A loss by the Taipans and a win by the Guns of Hochuli ties the division, and we go to our first count-back. The Gunners have a better divisional record that the Taipans so they would win the first count-back, but, the Taipans second count-back is dependent on the Nighthawks game. If the Nighthawks loose and the Who Dat Nation wins, that will tie the Nighthawks and the Nation in a divisional tie, and they will go to the count-back. With equal divisional records, the second count-back will be total points, and that could go either way. It then becomes a fourth countback between the losing team and the loser of the Taipans and the Gunners.

So many variations can be counted, it's probably easier just to say "win and your in".

So we're going to go back to San Diego, where the Australian Taipans of Southern California (in the Covid era) are hosting the Guns of Hochuli. In a marquee matchup, the winner of this game will win the division, and potentially, the #1 seed. the loser could fall as far as the #4 seed, and next week, they would be right back at each other again. This will prove to be one of the most fascinating weeks of football that we have ever seen.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

It wasn't hard to pick a winner this week. For the effort 13 receptions for 200 yards and 3 touchdowns for a total of 51.00points, the Week Thirteen MVT goes to Darren Waller (TE) of the Australian Taipans.

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