The joke thread II - Page 190

mikesn9 · 03-17-21, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff-Groves

How did NASCAR get it's name?
A group of Good Ol' Boys were racing cars around when one of them said
"That right there be a nas car Buddy!"

Oh, I thought it was:
Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

Catfish · 03-18-21, 05:46 AM

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asks the rabbit "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O."

Platapus · 03-18-21, 07:11 AM

Why do they call it Necrophilia instead of Stalemate?

Jimbuna · 03-18-21, 07:17 AM

Where do mermaids look for jobs?

The kelp-wanted section.

Jimbuna · 03-18-21, 07:18 AM

Why is there a gate around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in!

Texas Red · 03-18-21, 03:27 PM

I was at a hospital and I said "Stay positive"

I got kicked out.

Eisenwurst · 03-19-21, 01:48 AM

A guy goes to the movies.

He notices a kangaroo sitting next to him watching the film.

"Hey", he says, "You're a kangaroo. What are you doing here?"

The kangaroo says, "well I liked the book".

Jimbuna · 03-19-21, 01:23 PM

What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?

A strawberry.

Eisenwurst · 03-19-21, 07:32 PM

A guy goes into a pub with his kangaroo.

They're knocking back the drinks, getting brahms and lizst.

Suddenly the kangaroo falls unconscious on the floor.

The drunk staggers out of the pub, and the barman yells at him...

"Hey buddy you can't leave that lying here".

The drunks turns around with great dignity and says "For your information mate, that's not a lion it's a kangaroo".

Jimbuna · 03-20-21, 07:18 AM

If it takes two men to dig a hole in one day how long would it take for one man to dig a half a hole?

There is no such thing as a half a hole.

Jimbuna · 03-20-21, 12:15 PM

What do you call a rabbit with lice?

Bugs Bunny.

Eisenwurst · 03-21-21, 04:33 AM

A guy, dressed only in bubblewrap, goes to see a psychiatrist.

"Please help me doc" he says.

"No", says the shrink, "I can clearly see your nuts".

Jimbuna · 03-21-21, 12:00 PM

What do you call babies in the army?

Infantry!

Jimbuna · 03-22-21, 06:29 AM

What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset?

Give her some space.

Jimbuna · 03-22-21, 06:32 AM

Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house; Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house?

The president!

03-18-21, 05:46 AM	#2837
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,897 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asks the rabbit "What's your blood type?" "I'm probably a Type O." __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

03-18-21, 07:11 AM	#2838
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why do they call it Necrophilia instead of Stalemate? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-18-21, 07:17 AM	#2839
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Where do mermaids look for jobs? The kelp-wanted section. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-18-21, 07:18 AM	#2840
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why is there a gate around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-18-21, 03:27 PM	#2841
Texas Red Fastest Gun Around Join Date: Aug 2019 Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico Posts: 2,376 Downloads: 527 Uploads: 5	I was at a hospital and I said "Stay positive" I got kicked out. __________________ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP!

03-19-21, 01:48 AM	#2842
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,603 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	A guy goes to the movies. He notices a kangaroo sitting next to him watching the film. "Hey", he says, "You're a kangaroo. What are you doing here?" The kangaroo says, "well I liked the book". __________________

03-19-21, 01:23 PM	#2843
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? A strawberry. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-19-21, 07:32 PM	#2844
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,603 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	A guy goes into a pub with his kangaroo. They're knocking back the drinks, getting brahms and lizst. Suddenly the kangaroo falls unconscious on the floor. The drunk staggers out of the pub, and the barman yells at him... "Hey buddy you can't leave that lying here". The drunks turns around with great dignity and says "For your information mate, that's not a lion it's a kangaroo". __________________

03-20-21, 07:18 AM	#2845
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If it takes two men to dig a hole in one day how long would it take for one man to dig a half a hole? There is no such thing as a half a hole. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-20-21, 12:15 PM	#2846
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a rabbit with lice? Bugs Bunny. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-21-21, 04:33 AM	#2847
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,603 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	A guy, dressed only in bubblewrap, goes to see a psychiatrist. "Please help me doc" he says. "No", says the shrink, "I can clearly see your nuts". __________________

03-21-21, 12:00 PM	#2848
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call babies in the army? Infantry! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-22-21, 06:29 AM	#2849
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset? Give her some space. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-22-21, 06:32 AM	#2850
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,175 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house; Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house? The president! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)