The joke thread II - Page 115

Jimbuna · 04-19-20, 06:08 AM

Can’t believe how long my wife and kids spend on eBay. It’s been weeks and still nobody has made a bid for them.

Jimbuna · 04-19-20, 06:09 AM

Wife: What do you like best my face or my sexy body?
Husband: Your sense of humour.

Jimbuna · 04-20-20, 05:08 AM

The following conversation took place in a hospital.

Secretary: “Doctor the invisible man is here, he says he had an appointment.”
Doctor: “Tell him i cant see him.”

Jimbuna · 04-20-20, 05:12 AM

I’m not bad at cooking or anything …but how long is pasta supposed to cook in the toaster?

Platapus · 04-20-20, 05:59 AM

Why is it called a building when it is already built?

Jimbuna · 04-21-20, 06:36 AM

A man asked God why is his life so hard when his neighbor who is an atheist has it so easy. God replied “I prefer it when people don’t keep bothering me”.

Jimbuna · 04-21-20, 06:46 AM

Murphy “That was a great idea swapping partners last night Paddy!”
Paddy “Yeah to be sure.. I wonder how the girls got on!”

Jimbuna · 04-22-20, 06:21 AM

When I was a kid my dad used to beat me with his camera, I still have flash-backs.

Jimbuna · 04-22-20, 06:22 AM

Can’t believe how thirsty my Grandma is. Just drove past her house and she’s got about 10 pints of milk on her doorstep.

Texas Red · 04-22-20, 10:43 AM

How do I spell your name? And where do I put the D?

Moonlight · 04-22-20, 04:27 PM

^

Texas Red · 04-22-20, 05:29 PM

Quote:

^

Well, basically, the dude asks how to spell the girls name and he also asks where to put the dick. Like he wasn't taught the naughty stuff by his teachers

Sorry if that is a joke itself.

Jimbuna · 04-23-20, 06:50 AM

I went to a French restaurant last night and was served by a hideously ugly waitress. She really gave me the crepes.

Jimbuna · 04-23-20, 06:52 AM

My wife always complains. Last week she was complaining that I never take her anywhere so last night I booked her a table but she still wasn’t happy. Apparently she hates snooker.

Texas Red · 04-23-20, 05:54 PM

Sorry for picking on you, Silent Hunter 5.

EDIT: Please adhere to the forum rules regarding acceptable language.

Quote:

Please use language that you would use around your mother. No vulgarities, obscenities, hate speech, or foul language. Do not use *******ing w*rds with aster*cks, that's the same thing as vulgar languge. Express yourself with respect to others.

Jimbuna
SubSim Senior Moderator

04-19-20, 06:08 AM	#1711
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Can’t believe how long my wife and kids spend on eBay. It’s been weeks and still nobody has made a bid for them. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-19-20, 06:09 AM	#1712
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Wife: What do you like best my face or my sexy body? Husband: Your sense of humour. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-20-20, 05:08 AM	#1713
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The following conversation took place in a hospital. Secretary: “Doctor the invisible man is here, he says he had an appointment.” Doctor: “Tell him i cant see him.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-20-20, 05:12 AM	#1714
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I’m not bad at cooking or anything …but how long is pasta supposed to cook in the toaster? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-20-20, 05:59 AM	#1715
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,970 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why is it called a building when it is already built? __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-21-20, 06:36 AM	#1716
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A man asked God why is his life so hard when his neighbor who is an atheist has it so easy. God replied “I prefer it when people don’t keep bothering me”. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-21-20, 06:46 AM	#1717
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Murphy “That was a great idea swapping partners last night Paddy!” Paddy “Yeah to be sure.. I wonder how the girls got on!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-22-20, 06:21 AM	#1718
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	When I was a kid my dad used to beat me with his camera, I still have flash-backs. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-22-20, 06:22 AM	#1719
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Can’t believe how thirsty my Grandma is. Just drove past her house and she’s got about 10 pints of milk on her doorstep. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-22-20, 10:43 AM	#1720
Texas Red Fastest Gun Around Join Date: Aug 2019 Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico Posts: 2,376 Downloads: 527 Uploads: 5	How do I spell your name? And where do I put the D? __________________ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP!

04-22-20, 04:27 PM	#1721
Moonlight Admiral Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Fookhall Copse Posts: 2,141 Downloads: 184 Uploads: 0	^ __________________

04-23-20, 06:50 AM	#1723
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I went to a French restaurant last night and was served by a hideously ugly waitress. She really gave me the crepes. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-23-20, 06:52 AM	#1724
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife always complains. Last week she was complaining that I never take her anywhere so last night I booked her a table but she still wasn’t happy. Apparently she hates snooker. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)