British Football Thread (all divisions)

[BossMark]

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Not much different from watching a Shrek movie

Shreck films are more entertaining than watching boring England

[Jimbuna]

Could go through the qualifiers unbeaten then exit the competition without a win.

[BossMark]

In before Jim

Southampton 8 mackems 0

[Jimbuna]

Not to forget the TOON won their first game

The mackems eh?

One for every goal

[BossMark]

Sunderland will now officially be the biggest catastrophe to leave Southampton since the Titanic.

[Jimbuna]

Sunderland players have blamed the kitchen staff at their training ground, complaining that before the Southampton game they eight nothing.

[BossMark]

I was doing a comedy gig and I was asked if I knew any football jokes.

"I now nothing about football, I wouldn't know where to start, " I replied,

"You'll need to get on the A19 then, " a voice from the crowd shouted, "it will take you to Sunderland. "

[Jimbuna]

A man's body was found in the Tyne yesterday. He was dressed in a Sunderland shirt, mini-skirt, fishnets, suspender belt and high heels.
Police have removed the shirt to save the family embarrassment.

[Jimbuna]

A Geordie and a mackem get into a nasty car accident. Both vehicles are really wrecked, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the Mackem says, "So you're a Geordie, that's interesting. I'm a Sunderland fan... Wow! Just look at our cars. There's nothing left but, fortunately, we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The Geordie replied, "I totally agree - this must be a sign from God!" He went on, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink it, to celebrate the fact we are alive and kicking?"

He hands the bottle to the Mackem who nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes few big swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the Geordie. The Geordie takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Mackem. The Mackem asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The Geordie replies, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the police..."

[BossMark]

Sports News: Late victory for Manchester United as they beat Chelsea 1-1

[Jimbuna]

Mackems defeat to Arsenal puts them into the bottom three.

Ah, home sweet home.

[Jimbuna]

Mike Ashley has to all intents and purposes taken effective control of Rangers after giving them an emergency loan of £2 million.

Never realised they were still in a financial rut.

[BossMark]

Apparently Rangers fans are not happy that Mike Ashley's 2 million pound loan was accepted by the board.

They'll be even more pissed off when they find out he borrowed the money from Wonga.

[Jimbuna]

Rangers boss Ally McCoist keen to avoid Celtic in League Cup.

Rangers manager Ally McCoist admits he hopes to avoid a draw against Celtic after his side beat St Johnstone 1-0 to reach the League Cup semi-finals.
Their Glasgow rivals take on Partick Thistle in their quarter-final on Wednesday.
"When you get to the semis, you can't really pick and choose," said McCoist.
"We all know who the favourites will be to pick up the domestic trophies, so in that respect I would take anybody but Celtic."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29812195

[BossMark]

Chelsea have uncharacteristically started doing what cost them the Premier League title last season.

Dropping points against smaller teams.