Things that make you go Ahhh **** - Page 10

Stargazer · 01-16-11, 07:36 AM

My recent 'Ahh ****' moment.

Coming home to Kiel after a very successful dip in the North Sea. Previous mission had been a total dud so was thrilled to have sunk three ships and head home again.

I'm getting into the narrow(ish) bit and I'm staring at the Nav map. TC comes off and I get a 'Ship spotted' message. It's a neutral so I think nothing more of it.

I put TC back to 32 and then think, I wonder what neutral it is. So I go back to realtime and hit F4 to go t the Bridge.

And then I discover that only a tiny handful of ships will go evasive if they sense a collision. Immediatly to Port, I see a hunking great passenger ship coming directly intomy path from alongside.

I'm screaming for emergency reverse but it's too late.

I don't know if any of you have seen the film Galaxy Quest. If oyu have, you know that bit where they're leaving spacedock and scrape the ship against the side and just how cringe-worthy that metal against metal scraping noise is...

It was just like that. After I stopped clenching and the passenger ship had finished peeling the paint of my hull, I ordered full stop. Googled the flag and found out that Estonia had no qualms about bumping German military vessels out of their way in 1940.

Suffice it to say that I now spend a lot more time on the Bridge when coming into port or I zoom in closer on the Nav Map.

Luckily I didn't take any damage. But lessons have been learned.

Lord_magerius · 01-18-11, 12:56 PM

Just had two in one patrol

First I encountered 4 duds and 3 eels exploding prematurely which was rather annoying since I'd plonked myself in the middle of a large convoy. The second part was coming into port, I had it lined up perfectly to head straight into the pen. Feeling pleased with myself with such brilliance, I decided to pan around quickly a couple of times. Of course I did turn sticky keys off... Oh fu... Tried getting back into SH but it crashed. 4 hours wasted

hampster · 01-19-11, 01:06 AM

6th patrol I was assigned AN26 for the second time in a row, completed my orders and found 1 ship which I sank. It was just raining and vis was 400 at the most. So I decide to head south for better weather. I get down to Southend at 8pm. It is dark and vis is still crap so I get a bright idea. Run in on the surface and sink everything I can see. Bar running into a destroyer literally it should go good. I use 2 torps to sink a coastal merchant 20 miles out. I get into Southend. Nothing is there. There is some burning oil and some buildings on fire. I zoom in to see the cause of fire ashore, and 1km inland is the front end of a C2

Some bad mojo went down here. 3 other ships are burning and 2 are sunk. I guess someone else got here first. So I decide to head to the entrance of the Channel.

I get to the mouth of the channel. Contact report. So I plot an intercept, I should meet this ship in an hour and a half. So an hour and a half later. Sonar contact Frachter Bearing 30 and closing. 90. His course is generally SW and Im coming around to north so I order SW. 170. Ill head on this course for a minute, buy then I should have the data for my usual 500 yard portside shot. Bearing 175 now as my ship hits SW. Bearing 180, hes getting loud, really loud. I set my aft tube for a 400 yard run Ill get him as soon as he comes out of the fog with a straight aft shot. Up goes my periscope, this will be sweet. Whats this? seas must be really rough its just foam, and the fog must have closed in to pea soup as all I can see is grey. Wait, this could be horrible. My fears confirmed and I look as high as the scope will go and see the bow of a ship. Ahead flank! Hard port!Dive!Belay that! as I realize my tail will swing into his path.Just the turn not the Dive! Mommy! A scream of metal. Banging. more metal scraping. A jolt as he brushes my tower out of the way. A minute later we are all still alive. Amazingly we just traded paint. The extent of the damage is a few dents and our Schweinchen must be repainted.

Reckless sailor is going to have to pay for ramming me. periscope depth. ahead full. I will put some eels up his rear. Fire one. Klang! a dud! Open 3, wait. He stopped and Im headed at him full speed ahead. Engines stop! Emergency reverse! Where the hell did this guy get his sailing license? A surprise egg? I manage to stop 50ft from his stern. He is noticeably settling aft. I motor up his starboard side and surface I want this fool to know whats coming. 90 off his starboard I put 2 torps into him. No fires, he just settles a little faster. Im about out of forward eels, so I will do a 180 and put the stern tube into him. 4 minutes later that manuever complete. Im just about to shout fire when he turns turtle. Good riddance. 1 front tube left,3 rear, 3 ships sunk a week into this patrol that is just storming.

Gargamel · 01-19-11, 01:20 AM

Waiting for a 3x1tb Raid 5 drive to format.

Tripitaka · 01-19-11, 05:45 AM

Rubber Torpedoes!!!!

Otherwise known as TII (G7e)

Gods-Damned pieces of Bernard-inspired cr*p

If'n I wanted to bounce something long and slim off of the side of a ship I'd chuck a Nerf at 'em, OK?

GAH!!!

Iranon · 01-19-11, 08:02 AM

I can take unsuccessful attacks. I can take torpedo duds. What I can't take is having my perfectly lined up eel detonate 1m under the keel of the target splitting it in half while getting the message 'Torpedo war Fehlzünder' and being denied any credit. Especially not when it happens 3 times in a patrol. ARGH.

desirableroasted · 01-19-11, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iranon

I can take unsuccessful attacks. I can take torpedo duds. What I can't take is having my perfectly lined up eel detonate 1m under the keel of the target splitting it in half while getting the message 'Torpedo war Fehlzünder' and being denied any credit. Especially not when it happens 3 times in a patrol. ARGH.

That seems very odd. I sometimes get the "torpedo missed" message when it has exploded just on the other side of the ship, but my clock and intuition tell me it is a hit. And it always is.

Could this be a mod problem? Someone else was in here the other day saying he split Passenger/Cargos in two, and both halves stay floating.

Iranon · 01-19-11, 02:26 PM

I don't have any gameplay mods apart from GWX... eye candy and interface shouldn't affect it.

This is something else. I have noticed that Passenger/Cargo ships tend to stay afloat after taking a ridiculous beating, so much that emptying flak into them until they blow up almost seems more practical than using real weaponry.
I haven't checked whether this is justified by the nature of their usual cargo, but I doubt it.

However, the ships I was complaining about sank just fine within a minute and were of different types, two destroyers and a light tanker. I observed their sinking through the scope, never got any credit.

VONHARRIS · 01-20-11, 03:17 AM

1 .Having lined up a 3 torpedo spread against a Southampton CL and watch two of them bounce off and only one explode.

Fortunately , I fired and the fourth tube aimed at her magazines and sunk her.

2. Having intercepted a large convoy and preparing firing solution and watch them starting zigzaging and changing course. (october 1939). I let them pass.

These two incidents happened in the same patrol.

Jimbuna · 01-21-11, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VONHARRIS

1 .Having lined up a 3 torpedo spread against a Southampton CL and watch two of them bounce off and only one explode.

Fortunately , I fired and the fourth tube aimed at her magazines and sunk her.

2. Having intercepted a large convoy and preparing firing solution and watch them starting zigzaging and changing course. (october 1939). I let them pass.

These two incidents happened in the same patrol.

BE MORE AGGRESSIVE!!

VONHARRIS · 01-21-11, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

BE MORE AGGRESSIVE!!

Not this time , Jimbuna.
The odds were against me , I was risking to be exposed to enemy DDs passing close enough.
Sinking one ship doesn't equal the lives of 47 men.

Fader_Berg · 01-21-11, 09:23 AM

I know I shouldn't enter the channel, but I'm the kind of guy that always have to learn the hard way. While going to a patrol grid just off south west of britain, I had to take the shortcut. In a very dense fog, I ran into the sight of a wonderful destroyer.
I spent three live hours, trying to evade that destroyer and an other one which came along for the party, amongst an ASW Trawler. My type II took quite a beating, but I did manage to escape some kilometer away while they where bombing else where. It did look promesing indeed...

I was planning to do some crew management but "accidentally" ordered back full. The crew didn't hasitate... neither did the destroyers.

Matte Black · 01-21-11, 10:55 AM

Deleting a save without realising that it's going to delete all subsequent saves as well. Did that last night. Ooops.

Gargamel · 01-21-11, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fader_Berg

I know I shouldn't enter the channel, but I'm the kind of guy that always have to learn the hard way. While going to a patrol grid just off south west of britain, I had to take the shortcut. In a very dense fog, I ran into the sight of a wonderful destroyer.
I spent three live hours, trying to evade that destroyer and an other one which came along for the party, amongst an ASW Trawler. My type II took quite a beating, but I did manage to escape some kilometer away while they where bombing else where. It did look promesing indeed...

I was planning to do some crew management but "accidentally" ordered back full. The crew didn't hasitate... neither did the destroyers.

Ouch. But what was BDU thinking sending a II to the atlantic side of the Isles? North atlantic ok, bu the SW side? I would have encountered engine trouble shortly after leaving port, not sure how that wrench ended up in there.

stokeyblokey · 01-22-11, 12:27 PM

...falling asleep at the keyboard and pressing D whilst TC is set to 256

01-18-11, 12:56 PM	#137
Lord_magerius Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Right by the hydrophone station Posts: 724 Downloads: 96 Uploads: 0	Just had two in one patrol First I encountered 4 duds and 3 eels exploding prematurely which was rather annoying since I'd plonked myself in the middle of a large convoy. The second part was coming into port, I had it lined up perfectly to head straight into the pen. Feeling pleased with myself with such brilliance, I decided to pan around quickly a couple of times. Of course I did turn sticky keys off... Oh fu... Tried getting back into SH but it crashed. 4 hours wasted __________________

01-19-11, 01:20 AM	#139
Gargamel Lucky Sailor Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Rome Posts: 4,272 Downloads: 81 Uploads: 0	Waiting for a 3x1tb Raid 5 drive to format. __________________ Luck is a residue of Design.

01-20-11, 03:17 AM	#144
VONHARRIS Konteradmiral Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Greece Posts: 1,992 Downloads: 300 Uploads: 0	Oh st** 1 .Having lined up a 3 torpedo spread against a Southampton CL and watch two of them bounce off and only one explode. Fortunately , I fired and the fourth tube aimed at her magazines and sunk her. 2. Having intercepted a large convoy and preparing firing solution and watch them starting zigzaging and changing course. (october 1939). I let them pass. These two incidents happened in the same patrol.

01-21-11, 09:23 AM	#147
Fader_Berg 中国水兵 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Uppland, Sweden Posts: 278 Downloads: 48 Uploads: 0	I know I shouldn't enter the channel, but I'm the kind of guy that always have to learn the hard way. While going to a patrol grid just off south west of britain, I had to take the shortcut. In a very dense fog, I ran into the sight of a wonderful destroyer. I spent three live hours, trying to evade that destroyer and an other one which came along for the party, amongst an ASW Trawler. My type II took quite a beating, but I did manage to escape some kilometer away while they where bombing else where. It did look promesing indeed... I was planning to do some crew management but "accidentally" ordered back full. The crew didn't hasitate... neither did the destroyers. __________________ patSH3r-developer, (https://fb.tuxxor.net) Type II junkie Last edited by Fader_Berg; 01-21-11 at 09:39 AM.

01-22-11, 12:27 PM	#150
stokeyblokey Sailor man Join Date: May 2007 Location: Stoke - of course! Posts: 48 Downloads: 16 Uploads: 0	Dear oh dear... ...falling asleep at the keyboard and pressing D whilst TC is set to 256 __________________ The downfall of civilized states tends to come not from the direct assaults of foes, but from internal decay combined with the consequences of exhaustion in war. Sir Basil H. Liddel-Hart 1939-41 Radio Files

01-16-11, 07:36 AM	#136
Stargazer A-ganger Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 76 Downloads: 32 Uploads: 0	My recent 'Ahh ****' moment. Coming home to Kiel after a very successful dip in the North Sea. Previous mission had been a total dud so was thrilled to have sunk three ships and head home again. I'm getting into the narrow(ish) bit and I'm staring at the Nav map. TC comes off and I get a 'Ship spotted' message. It's a neutral so I think nothing more of it. I put TC back to 32 and then think, I wonder what neutral it is. So I go back to realtime and hit F4 to go t the Bridge. And then I discover that only a tiny handful of ships will go evasive if they sense a collision. Immediatly to Port, I see a hunking great passenger ship coming directly intomy path from alongside. I'm screaming for emergency reverse but it's too late. I don't know if any of you have seen the film Galaxy Quest. If oyu have, you know that bit where they're leaving spacedock and scrape the ship against the side and just how cringe-worthy that metal against metal scraping noise is... It was just like that. After I stopped clenching and the passenger ship had finished peeling the paint of my hull, I ordered full stop. Googled the flag and found out that Estonia had no qualms about bumping German military vessels out of their way in 1940. Suffice it to say that I now spend a lot more time on the Bridge when coming into port or I zoom in closer on the Nav Map. Luckily I didn't take any damage. But lessons have been learned.

01-19-11, 01:06 AM	#138
hampster Swabbie Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Alberta Posts: 7 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	6th patrol I was assigned AN26 for the second time in a row, completed my orders and found 1 ship which I sank. It was just raining and vis was 400 at the most. So I decide to head south for better weather. I get down to Southend at 8pm. It is dark and vis is still crap so I get a bright idea. Run in on the surface and sink everything I can see. Bar running into a destroyer literally it should go good. I use 2 torps to sink a coastal merchant 20 miles out. I get into Southend. Nothing is there. There is some burning oil and some buildings on fire. I zoom in to see the cause of fire ashore, and 1km inland is the front end of a C2 Some bad mojo went down here. 3 other ships are burning and 2 are sunk. I guess someone else got here first. So I decide to head to the entrance of the Channel. I get to the mouth of the channel. Contact report. So I plot an intercept, I should meet this ship in an hour and a half. So an hour and a half later. Sonar contact Frachter Bearing 30 and closing. 90. His course is generally SW and Im coming around to north so I order SW. 170. Ill head on this course for a minute, buy then I should have the data for my usual 500 yard portside shot. Bearing 175 now as my ship hits SW. Bearing 180, hes getting loud, really loud. I set my aft tube for a 400 yard run Ill get him as soon as he comes out of the fog with a straight aft shot. Up goes my periscope, this will be sweet. Whats this? seas must be really rough its just foam, and the fog must have closed in to pea soup as all I can see is grey. Wait, this could be horrible. My fears confirmed and I look as high as the scope will go and see the bow of a ship. Ahead flank! Hard port!Dive!Belay that! as I realize my tail will swing into his path.Just the turn not the Dive! Mommy! A scream of metal. Banging. more metal scraping. A jolt as he brushes my tower out of the way. A minute later we are all still alive. Amazingly we just traded paint. The extent of the damage is a few dents and our Schweinchen must be repainted. Reckless sailor is going to have to pay for ramming me. periscope depth. ahead full. I will put some eels up his rear. Fire one. Klang! a dud! Open 3, wait. He stopped and Im headed at him full speed ahead. Engines stop! Emergency reverse! Where the hell did this guy get his sailing license? A surprise egg? I manage to stop 50ft from his stern. He is noticeably settling aft. I motor up his starboard side and surface I want this fool to know whats coming. 90 off his starboard I put 2 torps into him. No fires, he just settles a little faster. Im about out of forward eels, so I will do a 180 and put the stern tube into him. 4 minutes later that manuever complete. Im just about to shout fire when he turns turtle. Good riddance. 1 front tube left,3 rear, 3 ships sunk a week into this patrol that is just storming.

01-19-11, 05:45 AM	#140
Tripitaka Swabbie Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: East of the Sun, West of the Moon Posts: 11 Downloads: 22 Uploads: 0	Rubber Torpedoes!!!! Otherwise known as TII (G7e) Gods-Damned pieces of Bernard-inspired cr*p If'n I wanted to bounce something long and slim off of the side of a ship I'd chuck a Nerf at 'em, OK? GAH!!!

01-19-11, 08:02 AM	#141
Iranon Loader Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 89 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	I can take unsuccessful attacks. I can take torpedo duds. What I can't take is having my perfectly lined up eel detonate 1m under the keel of the target splitting it in half while getting the message 'Torpedo war Fehlzünder' and being denied any credit. Especially not when it happens 3 times in a patrol. ARGH.

01-19-11, 02:26 PM	#143
Iranon Loader Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 89 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	I don't have any gameplay mods apart from GWX... eye candy and interface shouldn't affect it. This is something else. I have noticed that Passenger/Cargo ships tend to stay afloat after taking a ridiculous beating, so much that emptying flak into them until they blow up almost seems more practical than using real weaponry. I haven't checked whether this is justified by the nature of their usual cargo, but I doubt it. However, the ships I was complaining about sank just fine within a minute and were of different types, two destroyers and a light tanker. I observed their sinking through the scope, never got any credit.

01-21-11, 10:55 AM	#148
Matte Black Swabbie Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 5 Downloads: 12 Uploads: 0	Deleting a save without realising that it's going to delete all subsequent saves as well. Did that last night. Ooops.