The joke thread II - Page 273

Platapus · 02-22-23, 04:50 PM

I told my carpenter that I did not want carpet on my staircase

He gave me a blank stare.

Jimbuna · 02-23-23, 07:50 AM

Even after years of training at medical school it’s always sad when a patient dies. That’s the hardest part of being a dentist.

Jimbuna · 02-23-23, 07:57 AM

Just started a rock band that is devoted to making music for people who love cleaning. The band is called ‘OC/DC’.

Jimbuna · 02-24-23, 06:06 AM

Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the dentist to fix the Bluetooth on her iPhone.

Jimbuna · 02-24-23, 06:08 AM

A funeral was held today for the inventor of air conditioning.
Thousands of fans attended.

Jimbuna · 02-25-23, 03:45 AM

Q. What do you call an alligator who wears a vest?
A. An investigator.

Jimbuna · 02-25-23, 03:46 AM

Four out of five dentists recommended flossing every day.

The other one is out killing lions.

Jimbuna · 02-26-23, 06:05 AM

What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown.

Jimbuna · 02-26-23, 06:07 AM

I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.

Jimbuna · 02-27-23, 02:47 PM

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam!

Jimbuna · 02-27-23, 02:49 PM

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t.

Jimbuna · 02-28-23, 08:22 AM

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Jimbuna · 02-28-23, 08:23 AM

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

Jimbuna · 03-01-23, 08:42 AM

The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession.

Jimbuna · 03-01-23, 08:44 AM

My wife left me for a weather man. She’ll be mist.

02-22-23, 04:50 PM	#4081
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I told my carpenter that I did not want carpet on my staircase He gave me a blank stare. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

02-23-23, 07:50 AM	#4082
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Even after years of training at medical school it’s always sad when a patient dies. That’s the hardest part of being a dentist. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-23-23, 07:57 AM	#4083
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just started a rock band that is devoted to making music for people who love cleaning. The band is called ‘OC/DC’. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-24-23, 06:06 AM	#4084
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so stupid that she went to the dentist to fix the Bluetooth on her iPhone. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-24-23, 06:08 AM	#4085
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A funeral was held today for the inventor of air conditioning. Thousands of fans attended. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-25-23, 03:45 AM	#4086
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What do you call an alligator who wears a vest? A. An investigator. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-25-23, 03:46 AM	#4087
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Four out of five dentists recommended flossing every day. The other one is out killing lions. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-26-23, 06:05 AM	#4088
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-26-23, 06:07 AM	#4089
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-27-23, 02:47 PM	#4090
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-27-23, 02:49 PM	#4091
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-28-23, 08:22 AM	#4092
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!" __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-28-23, 08:23 AM	#4093
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-01-23, 08:42 AM	#4094
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-01-23, 08:44 AM	#4095
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,198 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My wife left me for a weather man. She’ll be mist. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)