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01-17-23, 01:28 AM | #3991 |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Reno Nevada USA
Posts: 1,860
Downloads: 85
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Joe is an avid golfer and a mild mannered guy but one day after coming off the golf course, he goes into church and asks the priest to hear his Confession.
He tells the priest he said a terrible curse word while on the golf course and the priest asks him to tell the details. Joe begins, "I hit my drive into the woods and it was behind some trees." The priest interrupts and asks, "Was that when you used this curse?" Joe continues, "No, a squirrel came out of the woods with the ball in his mouth and was running away with it." Again the priest interrupts, "So that's when you cursed?" But Joe goes on, "No, because a big hawk came down and grabbed the squirrel in his claws and flew away with it." The anxious priest jumps in again and says, "Surely now is when you lost it and used the terrible curse word." "No Father because that caused the ball to fall and it landed on a small hill and rolled down to less than a foot from the hole and..." "DON'T TELL ME YOU MISSED THE #!+#!#! PUTT" shouts the priest. Magic
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Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l |
01-17-23, 06:15 AM | #3992 |
Chief of the Boat
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Went on a date with a girl and I told her to text me when she got home. It’s been 3 weeks now and I still haven’t got a text, I think she must be homeless.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-17-23, 06:15 AM | #3993 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Q. How do you make a pool table laugh?
A. Reach into its pockets and tickle its balls.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-18-23, 02:28 PM | #3994 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Can’t believe it’s pancake day today.
It’s really crêped up on me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-18-23, 02:29 PM | #3995 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My Korean girlfriend made a pie from Scratch this weekend. I’m gonna miss that dog.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-19-23, 07:11 AM | #3996 |
Chief of the Boat
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It’s incredible how many scams are on the internet these days but for only $19.99 I can send video about how to avoid them. Please email money to avoid_internet_scams64@hotmail.com
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-19-23, 07:16 AM | #3997 |
Chief of the Boat
|
If you had the choice between being as rich as Bill Gates or having world peace, what color Lamborghini would you buy?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-20-23, 01:08 AM | #3998 |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Reno Nevada USA
Posts: 1,860
Downloads: 85
Uploads: 0
|
Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whisky, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife said, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said Ben, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it." Magic
__________________
Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l |
01-20-23, 06:00 AM | #3999 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Did you hear about the naked woman who robbed a bank?
Nobody could remember her face.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-20-23, 06:03 AM | #4000 |
Chief of the Boat
|
When me and my wife have arguments I always have the last word. Usually those words are ‘Sorry, you’re right’.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-21-23, 05:28 AM | #4001 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Phone rings at 2am.
Husband: Hello, who is this? How the hell do I know I’m not a weather man! *slams phone down* Wife: Who was that honey? Husband: Just some guy asking if the coast was clear tonight.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-21-23, 05:31 AM | #4002 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Donald Trump has just released new details about his plan to send illegals back to Mexico. He’s gonna deport them Juan by Juan.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-21-23, 06:46 AM | #4003 |
Fleet Admiral
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When I retire I want to move to the town of "Not in Service"
Evidently they have great bus service
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-21-23, 06:48 AM | #4004 |
Chief of the Boat
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The following conversation took place between a mother and daughter.
Daughter: “Mum, am I ugly?” Mum: “I told you not to call me mum in public.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-21-23, 05:43 PM | #4005 |
Silent Hunter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,604
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
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Why'd Mickey Mouse leave home.....
Cause his dad was a rat.
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