The joke thread II - Page 318

Jimbuna · 11-07-23, 06:55 AM

Why was the football stadium cold? There were too many fans.

Jimbuna · 11-08-23, 06:49 AM

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs.

Platapus · 11-08-23, 07:44 AM

Ok Ok Ok

I have an idea for a new product

How about this: Combining a laxative with Alphabet soup?

I can call it "Letter Rip!"

Jimbuna · 11-08-23, 01:11 PM

Why did the watch go on vacation? To unwind.

Platapus · 11-08-23, 02:26 PM

My wife threatened to leave me because of what she called my disgusting habits.

I was so shocked, I almost choked on my toenails.

Jimbuna · 11-09-23, 06:00 AM

How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together.

Jeff-Groves · 11-09-23, 02:33 PM

I relabeled all of the jars in my wife's spice rack.

I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.

Jeff-Groves · 11-09-23, 02:34 PM

My wife accused me of being an idiot for wearing two jackets when I painted our Den.

The foolish lady has always been too dumb to follow directions, which clearly says put on two coats.

Jimbuna · 11-10-23, 05:05 AM

What did the blanket say to the bed? I’ve got you covered.

Platapus · 11-10-23, 07:42 AM

I have been struggling to get my wife's attention

So I just sat down and got comfortable. That did the trick

Jimbuna · 11-10-23, 11:44 AM

What do you call birds that stick together? Velcrows

Platapus · 11-10-23, 06:36 PM

I got a job at the circus as a human cannonball

It was a good job... until they fired me

Jimbuna · 11-11-23, 07:06 AM

Why did the duck fall on the sidewalk? He tripped on a quack.

Platapus · 11-11-23, 10:41 AM

Our local smoke shop closed and a J.Crew opened in its place

Clothes but no cigars

Jimbuna · 11-11-23, 12:04 PM

Did you hear about the walnut and cashew that threw a party? It was nuts.

11-07-23, 06:55 AM	#4756
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why was the football stadium cold? There were too many fans. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-08-23, 06:49 AM	#4757
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-08-23, 07:44 AM	#4758
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Ok Ok Ok I have an idea for a new product How about this: Combining a laxative with Alphabet soup? I can call it "Letter Rip!" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-08-23, 01:11 PM	#4759
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the watch go on vacation? To unwind. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-08-23, 02:26 PM	#4760
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife threatened to leave me because of what she called my disgusting habits. I was so shocked, I almost choked on my toenails. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-09-23, 06:00 AM	#4761
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How does a penguin build a house? Igloos it together. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-09-23, 02:33 PM	#4762
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,320 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	I relabeled all of the jars in my wife's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin. __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.

11-09-23, 02:34 PM	#4763
Jeff-Groves Village Idiot Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 5,320 Downloads: 130 Uploads: 0	My wife accused me of being an idiot for wearing two jackets when I painted our Den. The foolish lady has always been too dumb to follow directions, which clearly says put on two coats. __________________ I don't do Stupid. So don't ask.

11-10-23, 05:05 AM	#4764
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What did the blanket say to the bed? I’ve got you covered. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-10-23, 07:42 AM	#4765
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I have been struggling to get my wife's attention So I just sat down and got comfortable. That did the trick __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-10-23, 11:44 AM	#4766
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call birds that stick together? Velcrows __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-10-23, 06:36 PM	#4767
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I got a job at the circus as a human cannonball It was a good job... until they fired me __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-11-23, 07:06 AM	#4768
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why did the duck fall on the sidewalk? He tripped on a quack. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

11-11-23, 10:41 AM	#4769
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Our local smoke shop closed and a J.Crew opened in its place Clothes but no cigars __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

11-11-23, 12:04 PM	#4770
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the walnut and cashew that threw a party? It was nuts. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)