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Old 03-31-22, 10:13 AM   #10111
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If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
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Old 04-02-22, 11:32 AM   #10112
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Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
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Old 04-03-22, 01:18 PM   #10113
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If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
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Old 04-04-22, 09:09 AM   #10114
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Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.
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Old 04-04-22, 03:02 PM   #10115
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American English is more close to older English than queen's English

Read this on the web- Don't know if it's true or not.

Markus
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Old 04-05-22, 11:17 AM   #10116
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If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them.
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Old 04-06-22, 12:04 PM   #10117
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I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
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Old 04-07-22, 05:51 AM   #10118
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Those who snore always fall asleep first.
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Old 04-07-22, 12:32 PM   #10119
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A random video on youtube was titled "the only way to stop Putin with Stephen Fry". Dropping Fry on top of Putin?
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Old 04-09-22, 12:22 PM   #10120
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It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.
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Old 04-10-22, 12:31 PM   #10121
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If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
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Old 04-11-22, 01:42 PM   #10122
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No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
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Old 04-12-22, 06:01 AM   #10123
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There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
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Old 04-13-22, 12:02 PM   #10124
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My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.
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Old 04-14-22, 06:43 AM   #10125
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All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
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