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06-11-21, 12:13 PM | #3061 |
Chief of the Boat
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I should have been more suspicious when the Chinese guy offered to “wok my dog" for me…
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Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
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06-11-21, 12:16 PM | #3062 |
Chief of the Boat
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My wife divorced me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about now is how to win her back.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-12-21, 06:06 AM | #3063 |
Chief of the Boat
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We have a strange custom in our office. The food has names there. Yesterday for example I got a sandwich out of the fridge and its name was "Michael".
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-12-21, 06:07 AM | #3064 |
Chief of the Boat
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I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday. It had “Final Notice” written on the envelope. Good. They won’t be bothering me anymore.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-13-21, 01:22 PM | #3065 |
Chief of the Boat
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Paul: “I’ve got problems with mathematics.”
Michael: “Me too.” Eric: “Yeah, that makes four of us.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-13-21, 01:23 PM | #3066 |
Chief of the Boat
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Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 pounds.
Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-14-21, 01:40 PM | #3067 |
Chief of the Boat
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A doctor asks his patient angrily, “Why did you send my bill back, unopened, Mr. Gunrick?”
Mr Gunrick explains, “But doctor, it was you who told me I must avoid any upsets and stress!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-14-21, 01:41 PM | #3068 |
Chief of the Boat
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A guest calls the waiter and complains, “How come there are no chairs at our table?!”
The waiter shrugs, “I’m sorry but you only booked one table…”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-14-21, 10:36 PM | #3069 | |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Reno Nevada USA
Posts: 1,860
Downloads: 85
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Quote:
A true story. Many years ago I was having a lot of dental work done and the bills were pretty big. When the Doctor sent a bill to me it came with a very small return envelope. You had to fold a check in thirds to fit in it. The next time he sent me a bill I went to the store and found some small play money that just fit the envelope. I sent it to him. The next time I saw that dentist that play money was attached to my chart. Magic
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Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l |
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06-15-21, 08:43 AM | #3070 |
Chief of the Boat
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How many gorillas can fit into a car?
Eight. How many chickens can fit into the car? None, the car is already full of gorillas.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-16-21, 01:39 AM | #3071 | |
Subsim Aviator
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Quote:
on the question "What is the reason for your visit today?" i had written "My wife told me i had to, so i dont have any choice!"
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06-16-21, 12:55 PM | #3072 |
Chief of the Boat
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She: I have a doctor’s appointment today but I really don’t want to go…
He: Just call in sick then.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-16-21, 11:46 PM | #3073 |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Reno Nevada USA
Posts: 1,860
Downloads: 85
Uploads: 0
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While we're on the subject.
Years ago I was refinancing my home. The finance co. wanted to know about a nearly $15,000.00 deposit in my bank account. It was just that I received payment for a lot of invoices that week. So I typed out an official looking letter with all the appropriate headings, etc. It said that the funds were from a small but profitable drug deal that I snuck past the DEA. She cracked up and than showed the letter to everybody in the office. Magic
__________________
Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l |
06-17-21, 07:17 AM | #3074 |
Chief of the Boat
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Everybody knows 40 is the new 30, right? But the police officer giving me a speeding ticket couldn’t be persuaded.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-17-21, 10:05 AM | #3075 |
Chief of the Boat
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Police officer: “Your car is too heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I’m going to have to take away your driver’s license.”
Driver: “You’re kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce tops!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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