The joke thread II - Page 130

Eisenwurst · 06-09-20, 07:34 PM

Heard this in a pub. Not really funny but I find it amusing.....

Two Romans walk into a cafe.

"What'll you have?."

"Just a salad, Caesar".

"And you Brutus?".

Texas Red · 06-09-20, 10:17 PM

I find that amusing

Platapus · 06-10-20, 05:18 AM

Man walks in to an old Greek tailor's shop holding a pair of pants

The the tailor, pointing to the pair of pants, asks, "Euripides?"

The customer replies, "Yes, Eumendides?"

(rimshot)

(Crickets chirping)

Well it went over well in Classic Lit class.

Jimbuna · 06-10-20, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catfish

And how many Americans does it take?
"Hundreds of thousands because that's how many light bulb changing jobs I am going to create. Probably more. I don't know how many, but it will be yuuuuge. And I'll tell you this, it will be better and cheaper than any light bulb changing you've ever seen. Do you know how many light bulb changing jobs we lost while Obama was in office? Guess! People say at least a million. I say more. But you can bet Crooked Hillary was behind it. I can see her now in court "You had no knowledge of the servers?"... "No, I was busy changing lightbulbs..." And if we had a REAL Attorney General she would be in court..."

Americans screw themselves instead of light bulbs

Jimbuna · 06-10-20, 01:11 PM

Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money. I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.

Jimbuna · 06-10-20, 01:14 PM

Can’t believe I wasn’t allowed to emigrate to Australia because of my criminal record. You’d think they’d be more understanding given the history.

Jimbuna · 06-11-20, 01:39 PM

Went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a loaf of bread, the birds were all over me.

Jimbuna · 06-11-20, 01:40 PM

I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night. After 5 glasses I can’t remember what happened and I woke up on the kitchen floor with an empty bottle.

Col7777 · 06-12-20, 03:41 AM

So this Roman geezer walks into a bar, sticks 2 fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please"

Catfish · 06-12-20, 04:01 AM

I like all those romans' jokes

I'll order a Brutus salad next time..

The latter with the two fingers could also read "Five beers for the guys from the sawmill".

I did not get the Euripides etc. joke, whatever i pronounce it it never makes sense.
"You rye pie dees" pronounced in english?
In german it would pronounce Oi ree pee das.
So something with Pee? Pi? -> confused

Eisenwurst · 06-12-20, 04:04 AM

Sometimes I envy Julius Caesar.

He died surrounded by all of his friends.

Eisenwurst · 06-12-20, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catfish

I like all those romans' jokes

I'll order a Brutus salad next time..

The latter with the two fingers could also read "Five beers for the guys from the sawmill".

I did not get the Euripides etc. joke, whatever i pronounce it it never makes sense.
You rye pie dees?
In german it would pronounce Oireepeedas.
So something with Pee? Pi? -> confused

OK.....

"Euripides?" - did you rip these?

"Eumenides?" - you mend these?

......my university education was not wasted.

Col7777 · 06-12-20, 04:21 AM

I've just won the 'Most secretive person 2020' award.

I can't tell you how much it means to me.

Col7777 · 06-12-20, 04:22 AM

I caught the neighbour's cat in my garden today.

You should have heard the noise when I took the hook out of it's mouth.

Col7777 · 06-12-20, 04:25 AM

Someone said they like the Roman jokes.

Well I for one like them too.

Col.

06-09-20, 07:34 PM	#1936
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,614 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	Heard this in a pub. Not really funny but I find it amusing..... Two Romans walk into a cafe. "What'll you have?." "Just a salad, Caesar". "And you Brutus?". __________________

06-09-20, 10:17 PM	#1937
Texas Red Fastest Gun Around Join Date: Aug 2019 Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico Posts: 2,376 Downloads: 527 Uploads: 5	I find that amusing __________________ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP!

06-10-20, 05:18 AM	#1938
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,960 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Man walks in to an old Greek tailor's shop holding a pair of pants The the tailor, pointing to the pair of pants, asks, "Euripides?" The customer replies, "Yes, Eumendides?" (rimshot) (Crickets chirping) Well it went over well in Classic Lit class. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

06-10-20, 01:11 PM	#1940
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,284 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money. I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-10-20, 01:14 PM	#1941
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,284 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Can’t believe I wasn’t allowed to emigrate to Australia because of my criminal record. You’d think they’d be more understanding given the history. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-11-20, 01:39 PM	#1942
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,284 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a loaf of bread, the birds were all over me. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-11-20, 01:40 PM	#1943
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,284 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I tried cooking with wine for the first time last night. After 5 glasses I can’t remember what happened and I woke up on the kitchen floor with an empty bottle. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-12-20, 03:41 AM	#1944
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	So this Roman geezer walks into a bar, sticks 2 fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please" __________________ Silent and Violent

06-12-20, 04:01 AM	#1945
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,897 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	I like all those romans' jokes I'll order a Brutus salad next time.. The latter with the two fingers could also read "Five beers for the guys from the sawmill". I did not get the Euripides etc. joke, whatever i pronounce it it never makes sense. "You rye pie dees" pronounced in english? In german it would pronounce Oi ree pee das. So something with Pee? Pi? -> confused __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

06-12-20, 04:04 AM	#1946
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,614 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	Sometimes I envy Julius Caesar. He died surrounded by all of his friends. __________________

06-12-20, 04:21 AM	#1948
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	I've just won the 'Most secretive person 2020' award. I can't tell you how much it means to me. __________________ Silent and Violent

06-12-20, 04:22 AM	#1949
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	I caught the neighbour's cat in my garden today. You should have heard the noise when I took the hook out of it's mouth. __________________ Silent and Violent

06-12-20, 04:25 AM	#1950
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	Someone said they like the Roman jokes. Well I for one like them too. Col. __________________ Silent and Violent