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06-01-20, 01:33 AM | #1891 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
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My mate came to me and said he wanted to start breeding dogs.
So I gave him a couple of pointers.
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Silent and Violent |
06-01-20, 11:58 AM | #1892 |
Chief of the Boat
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Have you heard about the amazing new chimpanzee diet for weight loss? All you have to do is eat 20 bananas a day and spend about 12 hours climbing trees.
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Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-01-20, 12:00 PM | #1893 |
Chief of the Boat
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Got approached by a woman today who said that she would do anything for £10. Guess who just got their car washed?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-01-20, 01:25 PM | #1894 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
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My wife wanted me to tie her to the bed this morning.
I don't know why but I'm sure she'll explain when I get back from my day's fishing.
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Silent and Violent |
06-02-20, 11:56 AM | #1895 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
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I phoned the incontinence help line, they asked "Can you hold?"
Col.
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Silent and Violent |
06-02-20, 12:15 PM | #1896 |
Fastest Gun Around
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico
Posts: 2,376
Downloads: 527
Uploads: 5
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If my girlfriend doesn't start being nicer to me, I'm totally gonna bottle up my rage and stay in this crappy relationship for 2 more years.
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There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP! |
06-02-20, 01:17 PM | #1897 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just got an email from a Nigerian king asking for my bank details to send me $1 million. They must think I’m stupid, after going to the trouble of kidnapping his daughter and holding her in my basement I need at least $10 million.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-02-20, 01:17 PM | #1898 |
Chief of the Boat
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You remind me of Mondays… Nobody likes you and you make me feel tired.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-02-20, 03:00 PM | #1899 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
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It's the final of the UK Microwave Challenge tonight.
Apparently, things could get heated.
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Silent and Violent |
06-03-20, 01:20 PM | #1900 |
Chief of the Boat
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My local church have now installed Wi-Fi to help improve communication. Are they finally admitting praying doesn’t work?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-03-20, 01:21 PM | #1901 |
Chief of the Boat
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My doctor told me today that I shouldn’t drink alcohol every day. “That’s fine”, I said, I only drink at night anyway.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-04-20, 01:24 AM | #1902 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
|
The dogs in my area are so clumsy.
I've just had to untangle yet another one from a post outside the newsagents.
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Silent and Violent |
06-04-20, 05:36 AM | #1903 |
Fleet Admiral
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My girlfriend is claiming that I got her pregnant.
She is using a new pregnancy test and it shows that she is 98.6% pregnant.
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
06-04-20, 09:03 AM | #1904 |
Chief of the Boat
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My wife´s suspicious mind is really begining to annoy me. Last night after looking at my calendar she wanted to know who May was.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
06-04-20, 09:04 AM | #1905 |
Chief of the Boat
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Lost my job as an airline pilot last week… Apparently all roads don’t lead to Rome.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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