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Old 12-14-22, 11:57 AM   #211
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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Old 12-15-22, 07:15 AM   #212
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The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
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Old 12-16-22, 07:09 PM   #213
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Fox News:
A billionaire hires millionaires to explain to the middle class that all their problems come from poor people.
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Old 12-17-22, 06:28 AM   #214
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Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
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Old 12-17-22, 02:02 PM   #215
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Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
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Old 12-18-22, 02:57 PM   #216
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The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
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Old 12-19-22, 06:51 AM   #217
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Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
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Old 12-19-22, 10:16 AM   #218
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Be happy and pray they said, it could become worse.

So i was happy and prayed and it became worse.
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Old 12-20-22, 08:50 AM   #219
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Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.
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Old 12-21-22, 09:30 AM   #220
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If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
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Old 12-22-22, 08:24 AM   #221
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Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
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Old 12-23-22, 01:21 PM   #222
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Old 12-24-22, 11:37 AM   #223
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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Old 12-24-22, 11:38 AM   #224
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Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far.
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Old 12-26-22, 07:25 AM   #225
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If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
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Oh my God, not again!!


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