The joke thread II - Page 144

Jimbuna · 07-30-20, 02:02 PM

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?
Rick O’Shea.

Platapus · 07-30-20, 05:18 PM

Last year I wrote a book on Penguins.

In retrospect, it would have been better had I written it on pieces of paper instead.

Texas Red · 07-30-20, 05:53 PM

You might be a redneck if.....

Your mom has ever asked "Anyone wanna see this before I flush it?"

Jimbuna · 07-31-20, 01:28 PM

Q. What do you call a muscular Arab Prince?
A. Protein Sheikh

Jimbuna · 07-31-20, 01:29 PM

1 slice of apple pie:

Jamaica $4.50
Bahamas $6.50
Aruba $3.50
Cayman Islands $10.50

These are the real pie rates of the Caribbean.

Jimbuna · 08-01-20, 02:09 PM

Teacher: So kids what jobs do your parents have?
Simon: My dad is a baker.
Teacher: Very good Simon, anyone else?
Johnny: My dad runs the local prison!!
Teacher: That’s great, is he a prison warden?
Johnny: No he’s just the hardest one in there!!

Jimbuna · 08-01-20, 02:10 PM

Doctor: Don’t eat anything fatty
Me: What? You mean like bacon or burgers?
Doctor: No fatty!! Don’t eat anything.

Platapus · 08-02-20, 10:40 AM

I am hosting a meeting for men with ED

Let me know if you can't come.

Jimbuna · 08-02-20, 01:46 PM

“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?”
“Well, why don’t you ask your sister?”
“But I don’t have a…”

Jimbuna · 08-02-20, 01:48 PM

I got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I’m now in casualty…

Platapus · 08-02-20, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

I got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I’m now in casualty…

That must suck

Platapus · 08-03-20, 08:29 AM

It was so touching.

My best friend in the world, as he was dying, handed me his Epi pen.
I guess he wanted me to have it to remember him by.

#BFF

Jimbuna · 08-03-20, 01:30 PM

I love Jesus. He’s born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate. He’s the best.

Jimbuna · 08-03-20, 01:31 PM

Saw a dwarf prisoner today climbing down the wall.

I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.

Jimbuna · 08-04-20, 12:43 PM

Christianity: One woman’s lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.

07-30-20, 02:02 PM	#2146
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O’Shea. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-30-20, 05:18 PM	#2147
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Last year I wrote a book on Penguins. In retrospect, it would have been better had I written it on pieces of paper instead. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

07-30-20, 05:53 PM	#2148
Texas Red Fastest Gun Around Join Date: Aug 2019 Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico Posts: 2,376 Downloads: 527 Uploads: 5	You might be a redneck if..... Your mom has ever asked "Anyone wanna see this before I flush it?" __________________ There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP!

07-31-20, 01:28 PM	#2149
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What do you call a muscular Arab Prince? A. Protein Sheikh __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

07-31-20, 01:29 PM	#2150
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	1 slice of apple pie: Jamaica $4.50 Bahamas $6.50 Aruba $3.50 Cayman Islands $10.50 These are the real pie rates of the Caribbean. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-01-20, 02:09 PM	#2151
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Teacher: So kids what jobs do your parents have? Simon: My dad is a baker. Teacher: Very good Simon, anyone else? Johnny: My dad runs the local prison!! Teacher: That’s great, is he a prison warden? Johnny: No he’s just the hardest one in there!! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-01-20, 02:10 PM	#2152
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Doctor: Don’t eat anything fatty Me: What? You mean like bacon or burgers? Doctor: No fatty!! Don’t eat anything. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-02-20, 10:40 AM	#2153
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I am hosting a meeting for men with ED Let me know if you can't come. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-02-20, 01:46 PM	#2154
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?” “Well, why don’t you ask your sister?” “But I don’t have a…” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-02-20, 01:48 PM	#2155
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I got one of those Dyson Ball Cleaners for Christmas. Unfortunately, I misunderstood what it was, which is why I’m now in casualty… __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-03-20, 08:29 AM	#2157
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,963 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	It was so touching. My best friend in the world, as he was dying, handed me his Epi pen. I guess he wanted me to have it to remember him by. #BFF __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

08-03-20, 01:30 PM	#2158
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I love Jesus. He’s born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate. He’s the best. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-03-20, 01:31 PM	#2159
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Saw a dwarf prisoner today climbing down the wall. I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-04-20, 12:43 PM	#2160
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,334 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Christianity: One woman’s lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)