The joke thread II - Page 329

Platapus · 12-26-23, 12:10 PM

I’m reading a book about reverse psychology.

I hope people don’t start liking it!

Jimbuna · 12-27-23, 06:35 AM

What do computers eat for a snack? Microchips.

Platapus · 12-27-23, 04:43 PM

I’m only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.

Jimbuna · 12-28-23, 12:30 PM

How do frogs invest their money? They use a stock croaker.

Platapus · 12-28-23, 03:55 PM

In studying history, I noticed that a large number of civil war battles took place in National Monuments.

How rude.

You would think they would fight somewhere else.

Jimbuna · 12-29-23, 02:08 PM

Did you hear about the whale that swallowed a clown? It felt funny after.

Platapus · 12-29-23, 05:09 PM

The other day I held the door open for a clown.

I thought it was a nice jester.”

Platapus · 12-30-23, 07:36 AM

What is the difference between a Priest and Woody from A Toy Story?

Woody from A Toy Story goes limp when a child enters the room

Catfish · 12-30-23, 04:42 PM

^ this is mean.
But i like the joke ..

Platapus · 12-30-23, 06:30 PM

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!

Platapus · 01-01-24, 06:51 AM

My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape.

That would be a big step forward.

Platapus · 01-01-24, 05:15 PM

I wanted to be an archaeologist.

But then I saw that my career would be in ruins.

Jimbuna · 01-03-24, 12:56 PM

The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Eisenwurst · 01-03-24, 11:20 PM

Why did Mickey Mouse run away from home ???

Cause his dad was a rat.

Platapus · 01-04-24, 07:43 AM

I had a dream that I was a muffler, but I woke up exhausted.

12-26-23, 12:10 PM	#4921
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I’m reading a book about reverse psychology. I hope people don’t start liking it! __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

12-27-23, 06:35 AM	#4922
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do computers eat for a snack? Microchips. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-27-23, 04:43 PM	#4923
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I’m only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

12-28-23, 12:30 PM	#4924
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	How do frogs invest their money? They use a stock croaker. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-28-23, 03:55 PM	#4925
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	In studying history, I noticed that a large number of civil war battles took place in National Monuments. How rude. You would think they would fight somewhere else. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

12-29-23, 02:08 PM	#4926
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the whale that swallowed a clown? It felt funny after. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

12-29-23, 05:09 PM	#4927
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.” __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

12-30-23, 07:36 AM	#4928
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	What is the difference between a Priest and Woody from A Toy Story? Woody from A Toy Story goes limp when a child enters the room __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

12-30-23, 04:42 PM	#4929
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,898 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	^ this is mean. But i like the joke .. __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

12-30-23, 06:30 PM	#4930
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them! __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-01-24, 06:51 AM	#4931
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-01-24, 05:15 PM	#4932
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I wanted to be an archaeologist. But then I saw that my career would be in ruins. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-03-24, 12:56 PM	#4933
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-03-24, 11:20 PM	#4934
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,630 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	Why did Mickey Mouse run away from home ??? Cause his dad was a rat. __________________

01-04-24, 07:43 AM	#4935
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,973 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I had a dream that I was a muffler, but I woke up exhausted. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.