The joke thread II - Page 136

Jimbuna · 06-26-20, 01:21 PM

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Platapus · 06-26-20, 07:03 PM

The best part about getting an Anti-Vaxer pregnant is only having to pay 9 years of child support instead of 18.

Jimbuna · 06-27-20, 04:42 AM

Twenty-six years after the Chernobyl disaster, and am I the only one that’s disappointed? Still no superheroes.

Jimbuna · 06-27-20, 04:43 AM

An irish farmer sees a welsh farmer carrying 2 sheep under his arms, and asks, “are you gonna shear them?
.”No”.says the Welshman..
.”they”re both for me”.

Catfish · 06-27-20, 06:41 AM

^

Jimbuna · 06-27-20, 07:00 AM

I was wondering if any of the non Brits would understand

Platapus · 06-27-20, 08:48 AM

Even I got that one.

mikesn9 · 06-27-20, 09:32 AM

Yeah, I got it too... sheer pleasure.

Catfish · 06-27-20, 11:48 AM

Police: "Shoot at will!"
Will: "Noo, why??"

Jimbuna · 06-27-20, 01:02 PM

^ Reminds me of the one about the film Zulu when Michael Caine shouts "Fire at will" and the zulus stop charging and enquire of one another "Which one of us is called Will"?

Jimbuna · 06-28-20, 01:26 PM

Two Irish men talking in a bar, Mick and Paddy.

“So Paddy what’s your ringtone?” says Mick
“I’ve never looked Mick but I would imagine it’s a light brown colour”.

Jimbuna · 06-28-20, 01:30 PM

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…

“Mr Cook?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”

I said, “That’s ridiculous – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”

Col7777 · 06-29-20, 06:39 AM

Women have absolutely no idea how to chat up us guys.

As if "Get lost you loser," was going to get me into bed.

Platapus · 06-29-20, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Twenty-six years after the Chernobyl disaster, and am I the only one that’s disappointed? Still no superheroes.

That's how I felt after my first cardiac stress test.

I was setting off the radiation detectors at work with my radioactive blood but no super powers

Totally unfair

Jimbuna · 06-29-20, 01:32 PM

What’s green and smells like yellow paint?

Green Paint

06-26-20, 01:21 PM	#2026
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-26-20, 07:03 PM	#2027
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	The best part about getting an Anti-Vaxer pregnant is only having to pay 9 years of child support instead of 18. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

06-27-20, 04:42 AM	#2028
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Twenty-six years after the Chernobyl disaster, and am I the only one that’s disappointed? Still no superheroes. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-27-20, 04:43 AM	#2029
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	An irish farmer sees a welsh farmer carrying 2 sheep under his arms, and asks, “are you gonna shear them? .”No”.says the Welshman.. .”they”re both for me”. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-27-20, 06:41 AM	#2030
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,897 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	^ __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

06-27-20, 07:00 AM	#2031
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I was wondering if any of the non Brits would understand __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-27-20, 08:48 AM	#2032
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,971 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Even I got that one. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

06-27-20, 09:32 AM	#2033
mikesn9 Sonar Guy Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Sarasota Florida Posts: 390 Downloads: 68 Uploads: 0	Yeah, I got it too... sheer pleasure. __________________ I spent the cold war under water.

06-27-20, 11:48 AM	#2034
Catfish Dipped Squirrel Operative Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: ..where the ocean meets the sky Posts: 16,897 Downloads: 38 Uploads: 0	Police: "Shoot at will!" Will: "Noo, why??" __________________ >^..^<*)))>{ All generalizations are wrong.

06-27-20, 01:02 PM	#2035
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	^ Reminds me of the one about the film Zulu when Michael Caine shouts "Fire at will" and the zulus stop charging and enquire of one another "Which one of us is called Will"? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-28-20, 01:26 PM	#2036
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Two Irish men talking in a bar, Mick and Paddy. “So Paddy what’s your ringtone?” says Mick “I’ve never looked Mick but I would imagine it’s a light brown colour”. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-28-20, 01:30 PM	#2037
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s ridiculous – my dog doesn’t have a bike!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-29-20, 06:39 AM	#2038
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	Women have absolutely no idea how to chat up us guys. As if "Get lost you loser," was going to get me into bed. __________________ Silent and Violent

06-29-20, 01:32 PM	#2040
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What’s green and smells like yellow paint? Green Paint __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)