The joke thread II - Page 213

Jimbuna · 08-25-21, 09:26 AM

“An excellent choice,” says the marriage officiant to the groom, “the lady is very popular, I’m already seeing her here for the fifth time!”

Jimbuna · 08-26-21, 11:59 AM

A wife is talking to her husband in the evening, “See, James? Men can still be gallant. Today I got on the subway and three young men stood up so I could sit down.”

James looks at her and asks drily, “And did you fit?”

Eisenwurst · 08-26-21, 06:24 PM

On reflection, joke too adult. So removed.

Arlo · 08-26-21, 07:12 PM

Jimbuna · 08-27-21, 12:44 PM

A dad is explaining how things are to his son, “I think it’s time you knew, Greg. You know the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy? That’s always been me.”

“That’s OK, daddy, I’ve known for a long time now that all these fairy creatures were really you. Except for the stork, right? That was uncle Vernon?”

Jimbuna · 08-28-21, 01:39 PM

At a funeral:

“Do you know the WiFi password?”

“Have some respect for the dead!”

“Thanks. No spaces?”

Jimbuna · 08-29-21, 01:28 PM

Two blind guys go to a cinema.

One guy says, “I don’t see anything!”

The other replies, “Shall we change places?”

Jimbuna · 08-30-21, 12:21 PM

“My friend crashed his motorbike. He’s brain-damaged and both his legs are broken.”

“You know, I’m really not surprised that he crashed his bike then.”

Jimbuna · 08-31-21, 02:16 PM

Two highlanders are talking, “Say, what would you do if a bear suddenly started attacking your wife?”

“Why would I have to do anything?! He started it, let him defend himself!”

Jimbuna · 09-01-21, 01:56 PM

“My dad drives like the lightning!”

“Wow, he’s that good, yeah?”

“Well I don’t know. He drives really fast and from time to time he hits a tree.”

blackswan40 · 09-02-21, 05:51 AM

Swannys Joke of the day

Jimbuna · 09-02-21, 01:28 PM

A woman goes in the pharmacy, “Please help. My husband demands it all day long. It’s just too much! Do you have something to calm down his passion?!”

The lady behind the counter smiles, “Here, that’s my phone number.”

Jimbuna · 09-03-21, 01:39 PM

I left the hospital absolutely shattered. Pulling the plug on my aunt who lived with us for the past 15 years was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had to wrestle the wife, two doctors, a nurse, and a security guy.

Jimbuna · 09-04-21, 01:24 PM

My grandfather had problems throwing things away.

He died by hand grenade.

Jimbuna · 09-05-21, 10:47 AM

Woman’s Own Magazine held a voting competition for Car of the Year.
The winner was “The Green One”.

08-25-21, 09:26 AM	#3181
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	“An excellent choice,” says the marriage officiant to the groom, “the lady is very popular, I’m already seeing her here for the fifth time!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-26-21, 11:59 AM	#3182
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A wife is talking to her husband in the evening, “See, James? Men can still be gallant. Today I got on the subway and three young men stood up so I could sit down.” James looks at her and asks drily, “And did you fit?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-26-21, 06:24 PM	#3183
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,629 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	On reflection, joke too adult. So removed. __________________ Last edited by Eisenwurst; 08-26-21 at 06:38 PM.

08-26-21, 07:12 PM	#3184
Arlo The Old Man Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 1,304 Downloads: 214 Uploads: 0	__________________ -Arlo

08-27-21, 12:44 PM	#3185
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A dad is explaining how things are to his son, “I think it’s time you knew, Greg. You know the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the Tooth Fairy? That’s always been me.” “That’s OK, daddy, I’ve known for a long time now that all these fairy creatures were really you. Except for the stork, right? That was uncle Vernon?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-28-21, 01:39 PM	#3186
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	At a funeral: “Do you know the WiFi password?” “Have some respect for the dead!” “Thanks. No spaces?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-29-21, 01:28 PM	#3187
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Two blind guys go to a cinema. One guy says, “I don’t see anything!” The other replies, “Shall we change places?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-30-21, 12:21 PM	#3188
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	“My friend crashed his motorbike. He’s brain-damaged and both his legs are broken.” “You know, I’m really not surprised that he crashed his bike then.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

08-31-21, 02:16 PM	#3189
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Two highlanders are talking, “Say, what would you do if a bear suddenly started attacking your wife?” “Why would I have to do anything?! He started it, let him defend himself!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

09-01-21, 01:56 PM	#3190
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	“My dad drives like the lightning!” “Wow, he’s that good, yeah?” “Well I don’t know. He drives really fast and from time to time he hits a tree.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

09-02-21, 05:51 AM	#3191
blackswan40 LSH-2022 Liaison Officer Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: IN THE STEEL SHARKS VIRTUAL OCEAN Posts: 2,513 Downloads: 589 Uploads: 30	Swannys Joke of the day __________________ LSH3 DOWNLOAD - LSH3 VIDEOS YOUTUBE - TUTORIALS by THEBERBSTER

09-02-21, 01:28 PM	#3192
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A woman goes in the pharmacy, “Please help. My husband demands it all day long. It’s just too much! Do you have something to calm down his passion?!” The lady behind the counter smiles, “Here, that’s my phone number.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

09-03-21, 01:39 PM	#3193
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I left the hospital absolutely shattered. Pulling the plug on my aunt who lived with us for the past 15 years was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had to wrestle the wife, two doctors, a nurse, and a security guy. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

09-04-21, 01:24 PM	#3194
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My grandfather had problems throwing things away. He died by hand grenade. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

09-05-21, 10:47 AM	#3195
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Woman’s Own Magazine held a voting competition for Car of the Year. The winner was “The Green One”. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)