The joke thread II - Page 231

Jimbuna · 03-02-22, 01:44 PM

Q: What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
A: “Oops!”

Platapus · 03-02-22, 04:01 PM

A Roman citizen walks into a bar and holds up two fingers

"Five beers, please"

Jimbuna · 03-03-22, 09:01 AM

Q: How did one tectonic plate apologize to the other?
A: “My fault.”

Platapus · 03-03-22, 06:05 PM

Two guys walk into a bar

One, jokingly says, "I'll have H2O"

The second says "I'll have H2O Too"

The second guy died.

magic452 · 03-04-22, 01:32 AM

After about 10 years, a mother starts to notice her child doesn’t look much like the rest of the family. Curious, she orders a DNA test. She is shocked to find their child isn’t their biological offspring.

When she goes to ask her husband what he thinks could have happened… he looks at her and says, “You don’t remember, do you?”

“When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped. You told me to go back inside and change it. So I left the dirty one there and grabbed a new clean one!”

Magic

Jimbuna · 03-05-22, 08:35 AM

Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: You put a boogie in it.

Jimbuna · 03-07-22, 11:55 AM

Q: How do you make holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.

Jimbuna · 03-07-22, 02:29 PM

Q: What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
A: He got a little behind in his work.

Jimbuna · 03-08-22, 08:51 AM

Q: What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
A: “Robin, get in the car.”

Jimbuna · 03-09-22, 12:04 PM

Q: What washes up on really small beaches?
A: Micro-waves.

Platapus · 03-09-22, 04:10 PM

I told my doctor. "Doctor, I think I broke my arm in two places."

She told me to avoid going to those places in the future.

Jimbuna · 03-10-22, 03:55 AM

Q: What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea?
A: Their crews were marooned.

Platapus · 03-10-22, 04:24 PM

I asked this cute woman to join me at the gym, but she did not show up
I don't thing the two of us are going to work out.

Eisenwurst · 03-11-22, 03:58 AM

What's the definition of a Russian String Quartet?

A Russian orchestra back from a tour of the US.

Jimbuna · 03-11-22, 09:16 AM

Q. What rock group has four members but doesn’t make a sound?
A: Mt. Rushmore.

03-02-22, 01:44 PM	#3451
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? A: “Oops!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-02-22, 04:01 PM	#3452
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,970 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	A Roman citizen walks into a bar and holds up two fingers "Five beers, please" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-03-22, 09:01 AM	#3453
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: How did one tectonic plate apologize to the other? A: “My fault.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-03-22, 06:05 PM	#3454
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,970 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Two guys walk into a bar One, jokingly says, "I'll have H2O" The second says "I'll have H2O Too" The second guy died. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-04-22, 01:32 AM	#3455
magic452 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Reno Nevada USA Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	After about 10 years, a mother starts to notice her child doesn’t look much like the rest of the family. Curious, she orders a DNA test. She is shocked to find their child isn’t their biological offspring. When she goes to ask her husband what he thinks could have happened… he looks at her and says, “You don’t remember, do you?” “When we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped. You told me to go back inside and change it. So I left the dirty one there and grabbed a new clean one!” Magic __________________ Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l

03-05-22, 08:35 AM	#3456
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: How do you get a tissue to dance? A: You put a boogie in it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-07-22, 11:55 AM	#3457
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: How do you make holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-07-22, 02:29 PM	#3458
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder? A: He got a little behind in his work. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-08-22, 08:51 AM	#3459
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A: “Robin, get in the car.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-09-22, 12:04 PM	#3460
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What washes up on really small beaches? A: Micro-waves. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-09-22, 04:10 PM	#3461
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,970 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I told my doctor. "Doctor, I think I broke my arm in two places." She told me to avoid going to those places in the future. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-10-22, 03:55 AM	#3462
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? A: Their crews were marooned. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-10-22, 04:24 PM	#3463
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,970 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I asked this cute woman to join me at the gym, but she did not show up I don't thing the two of us are going to work out. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-11-22, 03:58 AM	#3464
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,621 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	What's the definition of a Russian String Quartet? A Russian orchestra back from a tour of the US. __________________

03-11-22, 09:16 AM	#3465
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,344 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What rock group has four members but doesn’t make a sound? A: Mt. Rushmore. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)