SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
09-22-20, 12:34 PM | #2311 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Heard on the radio today that bad drivers are gonna be getting £100 fines. Seems a bit sexist.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-22-20, 04:46 PM | #2312 |
Fleet Admiral
|
I told the bank teller that I wanted to open up an account.
She said "whatever" The bank was offering zero interest checking accounts.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
09-23-20, 09:47 AM | #2313 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just had the following conversation with my boss.
Me: “Sorry I’m not coming in today. Got chickenpox.” Boss: “Don’t give me that!” Me: “I won’t. I’m not coming in.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-23-20, 11:30 AM | #2314 |
Starte das Auto
|
Old man (Subsim member) to his doctor: "Doctor, I take a crap every morning at 8 o'clock"
Doctor to old man: "That's good, so what's the matter?" Old man: "I wake up at 9 o'clock"
__________________
|
09-24-20, 06:14 AM | #2315 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Last night my girlfriend asked me to name all the women I’ve slept with. I probably should have stopped when I got to her.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-24-20, 10:21 AM | #2316 | |
Fleet Admiral
|
Quote:
Variation I asked my wife how many men has she "been" with. She said five I told her that being number 5 was not too bad She told me I was number 3 fml
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
|
09-24-20, 11:38 AM | #2317 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I had a job interview yesterday and I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.
The interviewer asked “Are you nervous?” I replied, “No, I always give 110%.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-25-20, 12:34 PM | #2318 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Yesterday I asked my daughter for a newspaper and she passed me an iPad because apparently newspapers are “old school”. She was right, the fly didn’t stand a chance.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-25-20, 12:38 PM | #2319 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The worst part about getting fired from my job at the unemployment office was that I still had to show up the next day.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-26-20, 05:26 AM | #2320 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Last night my girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed…
2 minutes later she told me all the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-26-20, 11:28 AM | #2321 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just seen two men walking together wearing matching clothes. I asked them if they were gay and they arrested me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-27-20, 01:29 PM | #2322 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My wife left a note on the fridge this morning saying “This is not working, goodbye”. Just opened the fridge and it’s working fine, very strange!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-27-20, 01:30 PM | #2323 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just found out that I’m colourblind…
The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-28-20, 12:18 PM | #2324 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Fun idea. If you have no kids hire a babysitter anyway and tell them the kids are asleep upstairs and not to be disturbed. When you come home ask them why the kids are missing.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
09-28-20, 12:19 PM | #2325 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Last night I was gonna surprise my Korean Wife with a romantic meal but someone let the cat out of the bag.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
|
|