The joke thread II - Page 180

Jimbuna · 01-23-21, 07:15 AM

Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck.

Platapus · 01-23-21, 07:44 AM

My doctor asked me if I got regular exercise.

I asked her if having sex counts

She smiled and said that yes that counts

I told her "in that case, doctor, no I don't exercise"

Jimbuna · 01-23-21, 01:19 PM

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Nobel."
"Nobel who?"
"No bell that's why I knocked."

Platapus · 01-23-21, 02:43 PM

"knock knock"
"who's there?'
"Impatient Cow"
"Impatien"
"Moo!

Jimbuna · 01-24-21, 09:15 AM

Q: What happens when you cross a shark with a cow?
A: I don't know but I wouldn't milk it.

Jimbuna · 01-24-21, 09:16 AM

Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.

Jimbuna · 01-25-21, 11:55 AM

Q: What did the math book say to its therapist?
A: I've got a lot of problems.

Jimbuna · 01-25-21, 11:55 AM

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

A: Because chickens weren't around yet.

Platapus · 01-25-21, 05:18 PM

Did you hear about the mathematician who was constipated?

She worked it out with a pencil.

Jimbuna · 01-26-21, 10:10 AM

Q: How do you make the number seven even?

A: Drop the "s."

Jimbuna · 01-26-21, 10:11 AM

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk." The wasted man asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled."

Platapus · 01-26-21, 05:09 PM

Q: Why are Tesla's so expensive?

A: Because they charge more

Jimbuna · 01-27-21, 11:13 AM

Q: Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building?
A: He couldn't fit in the elevator

Jimbuna · 01-27-21, 11:13 AM

Q: Can a match box?
A: No, but a tin can.

Jimbuna · 01-28-21, 12:43 PM

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

01-23-21, 07:15 AM	#2686
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-23-21, 07:44 AM	#2687
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My doctor asked me if I got regular exercise. I asked her if having sex counts She smiled and said that yes that counts I told her "in that case, doctor, no I don't exercise" __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-23-21, 01:19 PM	#2688
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Nobel." "Nobel who?" "No bell that's why I knocked." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-23-21, 02:43 PM	#2689
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	"knock knock" "who's there?' "Impatient Cow" "Impatien" "Moo! __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-24-21, 09:15 AM	#2690
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What happens when you cross a shark with a cow? A: I don't know but I wouldn't milk it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-24-21, 09:16 AM	#2691
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: Why did the one armed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-25-21, 11:55 AM	#2692
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: What did the math book say to its therapist? A: I've got a lot of problems. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-25-21, 11:55 AM	#2693
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A: Because chickens weren't around yet. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-25-21, 05:18 PM	#2694
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Did you hear about the mathematician who was constipated? She worked it out with a pencil. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-26-21, 10:10 AM	#2695
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: How do you make the number seven even? A: Drop the "s." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-26-21, 10:11 AM	#2696
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk." The wasted man asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-26-21, 05:09 PM	#2697
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,951 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Q: Why are Tesla's so expensive? A: Because they charge more __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-27-21, 11:13 AM	#2698
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: Why did King Kong climb the Empire State Building? A: He couldn't fit in the elevator __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-27-21, 11:13 AM	#2699
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: Can a match box? A: No, but a tin can. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-28-21, 12:43 PM	#2700
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,225 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool." Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)