SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
05-15-20, 06:15 AM | #1816 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just told my wife I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist. She told me she’s been seeing a psychiatrist, a bartender and two plumbers.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-15-20, 06:31 AM | #1817 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
|
Single woman with hand sanitizer would like to meet a single man with toilet rolls for good clean fun.
__________________
Silent and Violent |
05-16-20, 04:08 AM | #1818 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Feeling quite depressed. Gave my friend £10’000 for plastic surgery but now I don’t know what he looks like.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-16-20, 04:09 AM | #1819 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My wife is really beginning to annoy me. I took her out for a meal yesterday and she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, double whopper with cheese!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-16-20, 04:14 AM | #1820 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
|
Unable to find toothpaste due to empty shelves, I decided to chew on my dog's toy bone instead... Now my mouth is squeaky clean.
__________________
Silent and Violent |
05-16-20, 06:46 AM | #1821 |
Fleet Admiral
|
I never had it easy. It started when I was born.
After the Doctor slapped me, I found out that the nurses got in a few themselves.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
05-16-20, 06:55 AM | #1822 |
Fleet Admiral
|
I finally made the decision to join Alcoholics Anonymous.
I still drink, I just use a different name
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
05-16-20, 07:20 AM | #1823 |
Fleet Admiral
|
Growing up was tough.
I asked my father if I could ice skate on the frozen lake by our house. He told me to wait until it got a little warmer.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
05-17-20, 05:18 AM | #1824 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-17-20, 05:20 AM | #1825 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My doctor is such an idiot. He recently told me I need to loose weight and recommended I start eating apples instead of potato chips, I’m pretty sure apples weigh more.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
05-17-20, 05:40 AM | #1826 |
Fleet Admiral
|
My wife tells me I am the sunshine of her life
She told me that every time she looks at me, her eyes start to hurt.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
05-17-20, 07:48 AM | #1827 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
|
Asked a young girl in the shop today what's a good product to kill Coronavirus on worktops , she said "Ammonia Cleaner" I said sorry love I thought you worked here.
__________________
Silent and Violent |
05-17-20, 09:02 AM | #1828 | |
Fleet Admiral
|
Quote:
that's another one that I am sure is very clever, but I can't understand it. Is it a dialect joke?
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
|
05-17-20, 10:29 AM | #1829 |
Village Idiot
|
I'm only a cleaner
__________________
I don't do Stupid. So don't ask. |
05-17-20, 02:00 PM | #1830 |
Grey Wolf
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 944
Downloads: 260
Uploads: 0
|
Thanks for the above Jeff.
A simple one: I once made a belt out of watches... Total waist of time.
__________________
Silent and Violent |
|
|